Perfect Past
by MadameCissy
Summary: A choice between love and life itself. She will lose either way. Hermione is everything Narcissa came to love but was taught to hate. Is love really stronger than hatred? Hermione/Narcissa.
1. Falling Through Time

**Summary:** When you have to choose between the one you love and life the way you knew it, the choice will forever change you. For either choice means you will lose. And when she does not remember how much she once loved you, or how much you loved her, the future does not look as promising as it once did. And to know she now belongs to someone else and hates everything you are will leave her wondering if love really does know no boundaries?

**Time**: Starts before the HBP and then takes us back to Narcissa's seventh year. at Hogwarts After, it will return to HBP timeline and events will unfold from there, partially sticking to book story line and partially taking my own way :-)

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and all its characters of course belong to the brilliant JK Rowling. I merely borrow them and create my own magical world. Will put them back where I found them when I am finished.

**Pairing**: Hermione/Narcissa. Femmeslash. Don't like, don't read!

**Rating**: M for later chapters

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**Chapter 1**

_The future influences the present just as much as the past. _  
_Friedrich Nietschze_

The Burrow looked like it always did. Crowded and cramped with too many people and too much food. Everybody sat gathered around the table. There was something hanging in the air. Something she could not quite point out. But as her eyes drifted from face to face she knew it was something bad. Tonks looked desperate. Her hair was still some vague brownish colours. Her eyes were focused on Remus Lupin, who looked scruffier than ever before. There were more strings of random grey in his hair and the rings around his eyes were dark and heavy.  
Fred and George looked the same as always if it wasn't for the fact they kept glancing at their mother. Mrs Weasley paced around the dining area, not looking at any of the people who sat gathered around the table. Her face was a mask of disapproval.

At the head of the table sat both Kingsley Shacklebolt and Arthur Weasley, side by side. It was their presence that had caused this change in atmosphere, Hermione realized. She glanced at Ron, who sat across her. And for some reason Mrs Weasley had not sent Ginny out of the room.

But it wasn't just the presence of Kingsley Shacklebolt that made Hermione so aware. Beside her sat a witch of great skill. She had emerald green eyes that sparkled behind her glasses. She wore emerald green robes and her black witch's hat. Minerva McGonnagal had been an unexpected arrival at the Burrow this evening and everybody knew she had come here on behalf of Albus Dumbledore himself.

"Is anybody going to say anything?" Ron broke the silence, his voice betraying he was annoyed by the fact everybody seemed to just sit around, waiting for the grass to grow.

"I think Ron has a point. Silence isn't going to get us anywhere," Mr Weasley agreed with his son and nodded to Minerva before glancing at Kingsley at his side. Strangely enough he avoided making eye contact with his wife, Hermione noticed. "There is a very important reason why we have asked you all to come tonight. Now that we know You-Know-Who has returned to his full power we need to gain as much information as we possibly can. However, much of the knowledge about You-Know-Who lies in the past, not in the present or the future."

"We are attempting to recruit Horace Slughorn as a teacher for Hogwarts," Minerva spoke, her Scottish accent sending a shiver down Hermione's spine "Albus should be meeting with him as we speak. It is important he returns to Hogwarts this year. Now more than ever. But, unfortunately, it will not be enough. We need an informant. Someone who can give us answers we cannot find today. We need someone who can tells us more... not about You-Know-Who, as Albus has done so himself. But we need to know who his followers are, but mostly what can be done to maybe pull them to our side."

Hermione remembered the manic expression she had seen on Bellatrix Lestrange's face during the Battle at the Ministry and she thought it was going to take one hell of an informant to lure that dark woman to their camp. She shared a look with Ron and knew he felt the same when she saw how he rolled his eyes. Beside her, Minerva McGonnagal sat up in her chair.

"The only way to retrieve the information is to send someone back in time," she said. It was as if she had just spoken out someone's death sentence. The silence that followed her words was deafening and lasted until Mrs Weasley dropped a glass. The sound of the shattering glass stirred a whisper amongst the people sitting around the table. Tonks looked at Lupin, Fred and George whispered something no one could hear. Only Minerva, Mr Weasley and Kingsley sat quietly as they took in the reaction. It was clear Mrs Weasley did not agree with this decision, though there was very little she could do. The plans were made up. The Order had to send someone back into the past to retrieve the desired information.

Kingsley Shacklebolt raised his hand and the whispers died down. Suddenly his deep brown eyes caught Hermione's half way down the table and she was captivated, unable to look away. His voice was soothing, calm and deep when he spoke. "During the battle at the Ministry the collection of Time-Turners was destroyed. Only one remains. This Time-Turner is our only hope and our only chance to send one person back in time for quite a few years. To be exact, this person will return to Hogwarts during the time in which it was home to Bellatrix Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy and other known Death Eaters."

Hermione's breathe chocked in the back of her throat. She had used the Time-Turner in her third year to be able to take all her classes. Never had she realized it was capable of sending someone years back in time. She looked at Minerva and now recognised the golden necklace with the hourglass pendant around her neck. The older witch had kept it with her all this time and now it was the last one of its kind. And the only choice they had to fight their battle against Voldemort.

"Hermione," spoke Mr Weasley and she immediately looked at Ron's father. He did not have to speak any more. She knew what he was going to ask her. She swallowed back the lump she felt and clenched her fists under the table. She felt all eyes rest upon her. "We have debated long and hard about who we are to send. Some of us..." He glanced at his wife. "…disagree with the choice that has been made. Yet, nothing can be done if the person in question does not agree or does not wish to take on the task placed upon them." He paused. She knew what he was asking.

Fear was a useless emotion, she realized. It only made a person weak. And weakness would prove to be futile. Inside her roared the lion of braveness that belonged to Gryffindor. It was stupid, maybe. Mad, that was for sure and completely out of this world. But did she have a choice? Voldemort needed to be stopped, no matter what. Hermione's eyes widened and she met Mr Weasley's eyes and she firmly nodded.

"I will," she answered, suddenly feeling Minerva's warm and protective hand on her shoulder.

"NO!" It was Ron who shouted and suddenly he looked like a male version of his mother. The same emotional objection lay in his eyes. "This is absolutely mental! You can't send her back in time to hang out with a bunch of crazy Death Eaters!"

"We are open to other suggestions, Ronald," Minerva cut of Hermione, who had opened her mind to tell him he was being stupid and Hermione sat dumb struck, staring at her mentor in surprise. She had never expected Minerva to speak to Ron on such a tone. "But since there does not appear to be an alternative, I suggest we let Miss Granger decide whether she feels it right to take on this mission."

"Hermione?" asked Lupin friendly, looking at her sideways. "Are you sure? No one can force you to take on this mission if you don't want to."

Hermione did not feel hesitation. She knew she had to do this. Her voice did not betray fear. Inside her the lion still roared. She thought about Harry for a moment. She knew he would not have doubted what he would have done and neither did she. "I am sure. I want to do this."

"Minerva, will you please fill in Hermione on what is expected from her during this mission?" Kingsley said as around them Fred, George, Ron and Ginny all appeared to be outraged and shocked by what had been asked of Hermione. Minerva nodded, already taking Hermione's arm as she stood up "At the same time we will make sure the others understand."

Hermione followed Minerva outside, leaving the outraged whispering behind. The darkness of the night was quiet and was a welcome retreat from the lively buzzing inside. Hermione eagerly took in the fresh evening air and felt how a soft summer wind pulled her hair. When she looked beside her she found Minerva apparently enjoyed the same sense of freedom. Just as she was about to look away, Minerva glanced aside and her green eyes caught Hermione's.

"You are a brave young witch, Miss Granger," Minerva said, her voice warm and kind. "Are you afraid?"

"A bit," Hermione answered honestly and sighed "But how can I not accept, Professor? I have to do this. Look at Harry. Look at what he had to go through in all these years. I don't think any of the people inside have realized that doing this is nothing compared to what he had to endure over the years, yet they seem to accept that as something that simply is the way it is."

"Spoken like a true Gryffindor," Minerva answered with pride lingering in her voice "There is one thing they did not tell you inside, Hermione. You do not have a lot of time. This mission needs to start as soon as possible. You will have to leave early tomorrow morning, before dawn. Time for preparation is short. I need you to listen and I need you to listen carefully. There are no second chances."

Hermione nodded. Her heart was racing in her chest. She did not lie when she said she did not feel fear. Adrenaline raced through her veins. Her mind was buzzing. "I am ready, Professor. If I don't do this now, I know I never will again."

Minerva's green eyes sparkled behind her glasses and she pointed at the bench at the end of the garden. They strode across the grass in silence and sat down underneath the star riddled sky. Hermione looked at the older witch. She had looked up to her from the moment she arrived at Hogwarts. Minerva McGonnagal was not only her Head of House; she was a mentor and an inspiration.

"You will return to Hogwarts and you will be placed in Slytherin as a seventh year student. Only Professor Dumbledore and I will be aware of your true personality, Hermione. To everybody else you will be Rose Cabot, daughter of a pure blood Wizarding family. You will need to select those who are likely to become Death Eaters. You will recognise their last names. Black, Lestrange, Rosier, Malfoy," Minerva said and in her eyes Hermione saw her worries. "Show your appreciation for the Dark Arts; befriend them if you must or if you can but never risk your own safety."

"When you say the Blacks, do you mean Bellatrix and Narcissa?" Hermione questioned and Minerva nodded.

"You will recognise them, I think. But it is becoming close that will prove difficult. Especially Bellatrix never was the type of girl to let anyone close to her. You may have a better chance of getting to her through Narcissa. She used to be quite friendly to her fellow Slytherins," Minerva answered and suddenly she took Hermione's hand "you are about to enter a very dangerous situation, Hermione. You must never forget that. Once your there, you are on your own. Professor Dumbledore and I will be watching you but it will have to be you who completes this mission."

"Professor, how do I return to my own time?" Hermione suddenly asked nervously, realizing no one had told her how long she would be gone for.

"The Time-Turner has a limit. It has been magically applied by Professor Dumbledore himself. It means you cannot stay any longer than two months and at any given time you can be returned to our own present time without consequences. The amount of time cannot be exceeded unless you choose to stay," Minerva answered, sensing the nervous tone in Hermione's face "But I believe you would be rather eager to return to the present, Miss Granger."

Hermione nodded. She glanced at the Burrow. People were walking around inside. She recognised Ron's silhouette and even heard Fred's voice. Tomorrow morning she would leave all of this behind and travel years back in time. She would be alone. Tomorrow all of this would be nothing more than a memory. She sighed. Her heart had eased down in her chest and she looked up when Minerva placed a hand on her arm. She met those emerald green eyes as they looked into her brown ones. "I am very proud of you, Hermione."

"Thank you, Professor," Hermione answered softly and stood up. "Since I only have a few hours left, maybe we should go back inside?"

~()~

Morning broke soon. She opened her eyes as someone touched her forehead and she immediately sat up. Someone stood over her bed, holding a candle. She blinked a few times before she realized it was Mrs Weasley. Her face was a mask of worry and Hermione knew she still did not agree with this mission. Quietly she slipped out of bed and dressed in a pair of jeans and a hooded sweater. She had no idea what to wear or what to do. She had packed a bag with some small items she thought she might need, but most of all to remember her of all of this while she was gone.

Last night she had said goodbye to everybody. Lupin had kissed her cheek before whispering in her ear that if she saw his younger self she had to kick his ass. It was the first time she realized she would meet people she knew in this time while they were younger.

Harry had been the only one she had not said goodbye to. He arrived at the Burrow after she had gone to bed and there was no time to see him now. She would have to trust on the fact she would see him when she returned. She climbed down the stairs that lead from the room she shared with Ginny to the living room and found a small gathering of people waiting for her. The room was filled with anticipation when she walked in. The first set of eyes she met were bright blue and belonged to Hogwarts' Headmaster Albus Dumbledore.

"Good morning, Hermione," spoke Minerva who stood next to Dumbledore, though it looked nothing like morning outside. Dawn had not even broken yet. There was no sunshine rising over the hills. There was simply darkness.

"Good morning," Hermione whispered as her eye caught the golden necklace around Minerva's neck. For the first time she wondered whether she really was ready for this. But there was no way back now. Bravely she stepped further into the dining area to find Mr Weasley was also present and he shared a nervous look with his wife.

"When the Time-Turner stops you will find yourself standing in an empty field. By your feet lies a shoe. It is a Portkey. Take it immediately. You will arrive at Hogwarts in the Great Hall. I shall be waiting for you to escort you to your House," said Dumbledore as if it was the simplest thing she was ever going to do "There Professor McGonnagal will see to it you will be escorted to your dormitory and that you receive your robes and books. Do you have any questions, Miss Granger?"

She had known Dumbledore long enough to know never to doubt him. He was after all the most brilliant wizard that had ever walked the surface of this Earth. "No, sir," she answered softly, her eyes looking at nothing or no one in particular.

Dumbledore shared a look with Minerva. "It is time, Miss Granger."

Mrs Weasley wrapped her arms tightly around her, hugging her firmly and almost squeezing all the air out of her lungs. Hermione closed her eyes for a moment and when Mrs Weasley let go she shook Mr Weasley's hand. She then stepped towards Minerva McGonnagal who had taken the necklace from her own neck and carefully hung it around Hermione's. The Time-Turner rested on her chest. Minerva's slim hands reached up and took the hourglass and started twisting it, whispering a soft incantation as she did so.

"See you soon," Minerva then suddenly whispered as she stepped away and watched the Time-Turner spin against Hermione's chest. Within seconds her image became a distant blur and then disappeared.

Hermione did not look at the Time-Turner spinning but simply closed her eyes. A strange, cold sensation ran over her as the world around her moved in all different directions. Fragments of voices and flashes of lights found their way to hear but none of it lasted long enough to tell her where she was or what was going on. It went on for minutes before all of a sudden, it stopped. There was nothing but silence around her.

Hermione carefully opened her eyes. She was standing outside, in the middle of a field. Like Dumbledore had said. The sky was still dark and filled with stars. To her shock she realized she was still standing at the exact same spot as minutes ago but where the Burrow used to be there was now just an empty field. There was no sign of a house ever having been here, let alone the living room she had been standing in. Her eyes wandered around. It appeared to be corn field she was standing in. She then looked down and found the shoe Dumbledore had mentioned. She bent over and reached out one finger to touch the dirty leather. A quick, unexpected and strong yank nearly swapped her of her feet as the Portkey was activated and she found herself flying through time and space again. She only just managed to stay on her feet as the nauseating feeling subsided. She opened her eyes and immediately recognised where she was.

The Great Hall had not changed in all these years. It looked exactly like it would do so many years from now. She looked around, her eyes desperately searching for Dumbledore. She found him standing by what looked like the Slytherin table. Clearly he was unaware of her arrival as he was still looking at the parchment he held in his hand. As she carefully approached him the parchment magically disappeared and his blue eyes looked up to find hers.

"Good morning Miss Granger," he spoke friendly as his blue eyes twinkled behind his glasses. His beard was not as long or as grey as she remembered it to be and he looked quite a few years younger. His robes were a dark blue, matching well with the sparkling blue of his eyes "Or should I say, Miss Cabot,"

Hermione smiled, unsure what to answer. "Good morning Professor."

"Come, we must not let Professor McGonnagal waiting at this early hour," Dumbledore said as she strode towards the door that lead out of the Great Hall. With quick steps Hermione followed him. Instead of up the stairs he took her down to the dungeon. Hermione realized he was taking her to the Slytherin common room. She had never been there though she knew it was in the dungeons somewhere. She listened to the noises of the castle. They still sounded the same. The portraits still whispered – though maybe there were not as many as there would be several years later. Many looked surprised to find Dumbledore make his way down to the dungeons, followed by a student, in these early hours of the day.

The dungeons were dimly lit by several torches that carried everlasting fire. Hermione followed Dumbledore closely. So far she knew where she was. They had just passed the Potions classroom. But Dumbledore took her further down the stone corridor, deeper into the dungeons and what appeared to be further away from castle's main building. They reached a stone wall, which quickly proved not to be a simple wall at all. As Dumbledore stated the password the wall was revealed to be trapdoor and to her surprise, Minerva McGonnagal appeared from the shadows behind them.

"Good morning," Minerva said and Hermione had to blink a few times before she recognised the Transfiguration Teacher. Where Dumbledore looked quite the same, Minerva did not. She looked younger. She was younger. Her ash blonde hair was not yet riddled with grey and fell freely and wavy down her shoulders. She was not wearing her familiar glasses and her emerald green eyes glistened in her sharp lines face. "I will take it from here, Albus." She gave the Headmaster a friendly nod and he strode back off into the darkness of the dungeons, leaving Hermione with Minerva.

"When you walk through this door, there is no way back," Minerva whispered, nervously glancing at the now open entrance to Slytherin common room "A seventh year student will be waiting for you inside. Slughorn has asked them to show the new arrival around. From here onwards you are Rose Cabot." She put a hand on Hermione's shoulder, carefully urging her towards the entrance. "Be careful and good luck."

Hermione felt how Minerva watched her as she climbed through the trapdoor. When she looked up she found herself standing in the Slytherin common room. It was a dim lit, dungeon style room with a low ceiling. The room was simply made out of dark grey stone. A green light was cast into the room through a few small windows and she realized the room was situated right underneath the lake. The sofas and armchairs were all made out of black leather and all carried the Slytherin serpent as a logo. All lampshades were green, matching Slytherins prime colour. Skulls riddled the walls and a large fire burned fiercely in the fireplace. The room felt cold and very much like a dungeon. The only thing missing were the bars on the window, it was completely the opposite of how Hermione remembered Gryffindor common room.

"Hello."

Hermione spun around when she heard the voice behind her and she froze when she caught sight of the person standing behind her. She was faced with the slim figure of a young woman, a few inches taller than herself, with long blonde hair and pale blue eyes. Her skin was light, almost porcelain white, and looked somewhat frail. She was wearing the familiar black with green stitched Slytherin robes and appeared to be a seventh year. She had been sitting in one of the armchairs but now that Hermione arrived, she stood up.

"You must be Rose Cabot," the girl spoke distantly, looking at Hermione from head to toe as if to decide whether she approved of her or not. There was a look in her eyes Hermione recognised. It was the same look this blonde haired girl had given her so many years later, though of course this Slytherin girl didn't know. "Professor Slughorn has asked me to show you around during your first day at Hogwarts. This is the Slytherin common room." Her hand carelessly gestured around the room. She paused briefly and for the first time since Hermione saw her she smiled. She had never seen her smile. It changed every expression on her face and clearly she had approved of Hermione's arrival. "I am Narcissa Black."


	2. Secret Whispers

**A/N: **I do believe this story will get even more interesting when Hermione returns to her own time and has to face the adult Narcissa. but first, Christmas at the Black's in chapter 3.

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**Chapter 2  
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_"It will always be our little secret..."_

Slytherin was everything she couldn't stand. It stood for everything she opposed and had come to hate so much. But Hermione now found herself amongst a gathering of Slytherin seventh years, all curious to know who she was and at the same time all watching her like a hawk, following her every move.

Hermione pushed her food around on her plate. She wasn't hungry. And all those staring eyes didn't help. She felt uncomfortable wearing her robes. It was as if she was betraying everything she had ever believed in or stood for. She glanced beside her. Narcissa sat next to her, enjoying her breakfast. She didn't speak to anyone and no one spoke to her, Hermione noticed.

Her eyes were constantly drawn back to Narcissa. She had never imagined her to be this beautiful. She had only met the adult Narcissa once. She was married to Lucius and mother of Draco. It had been in her fourth year, at the Quidditch World Cup. The encounter had been only brief and it wasn't until now that Hermione remembered Narcissa had grown up into a beautiful, though very cold, woman.

"Are you all right?" Narcissa suddenly did speak. She had put down her fork and now looked curiously at Hermione. Something flickered in her eyes. Hermione wondered if Narcissa had seen her look. If she did, she did not show it. "You have not touched your food, Rose."

Hermione stirred at the mention of her fake name, hoping she didn't blush. She looked up and met Narcissa's bright blue eyes. She was a beautiful young woman. Her long, silky blonde hair fell down her shoulders and her back. Her skin was pure and almost porcelain white. There was something angelic about her; something beautiful and innocent. Hermione was surprised at the difference between the youngest Black daughter and her two older sisters.

"Yes, I am just..." Hermione started and tried to find a word that described how she felt "...I suppose I am just getting used to be being here." She forced a piece of toast down her throat and had to drink her whole cup of pumpkin juice to get rid of it. "What is our first class?"

"Transfiguration. You had better not be late. McGonnagal is a right piece of work," Narcissa said and threw a looked at the teacher's table. Hermione didn't miss the contempt that lay in that look and she too glanced at the table. She was sure that until a second ago Minerva had been looking at her. But now she was engaged in a passionate debate with Professor Dumbledore.

Hermione pushed her plate away. She wasn't hungry. Now that she was here, sitting at the Slytherin table and next to the girl that was to become Narcissa Malfoy one day, she was unsure whether she was able to complete the mission that had been put on her.

She had to get to know Narcissa. Get to know her well. Become close to her and hope she would introduce her to Bellatrix and some of the others that would become Death Eaters one day. Hermione realized somewhere inside she did not have any problems with having to get to know Narcissa. All she wanted was to stay around her. She had to get to know her. She had to find out who she really was. Narcissa was now seventeen. Not long from now would she marry Lucius Malfoy. Hermione had seen him sitting a bit further down the table. He was having an animated conversation – more of a one way talk because the other boy never got a chance to say something- and several others listened. She could easily see where Draco got all his arrogant traits from.

Much to her horror and surprise she had also found a young man with unwashed and uncut black hair and a rather large nose sitting at the end of the Slytherin table. Most of his head was hidden in a Potions book. Severus Snape looked nothing like the mean, cruel and emotionless Potions teacher he was to become. Now he looked nothing more than a sad, lonely young man who had no friends and did not attempt to gain any either.

Her eyes wandered around the Great Hall and automatically found the Gryffindor table. Her heart stopped in her chest when she found the young girl sitting in between some other third years. She had strawberry blonde, almost red hair and green eyes. A friendly smile seemed to play continuously around her lips. She had leant over to talk to another girl before sipping from her pumpkin juice.

Harry's mother looked so young and so different from what she imagined her to be like. She had only ever seen a picture of Lily Evans but now she sat in this same Great Hall. Anxiously Hermione looked around the Gryffindor table and recognised four more familiar faces, all in their early teens. James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin were sitting together; the gang of mischief. Sirius and James were whispering, probably plotting their next midnight track around the castle. Little Peter was eager to join but mostly ignored and Remus just sat silently between his friends, watching both James and Sirius and the staff table.

"Come on," Narcissa had stood up and looked down at Hermione. A little smile lingered around on her lips and she poked Hermione in her back when she didn't move quick enough "I want to show you something."

Hermione stood up and was happy to abandon her plate and the crowded Hall. When she and Narcissa left, she felt Minerva's green eyes burn in her back and Hermione knew she approved of the sight of her leaving with Narcissa. Still everything about this still felt old.  
She was lost in a time that was far from her own and seeing the people she would get to know as grownups walk around the castle as teenagers was strange and somewhat scary. But most of all, seeing Harry's parents had stirred an emotion in her heart. She felt incredibly sad she got this chance whereas Harry did not. It almost felt unfair.

As all these thoughts ran through her head Hermione followed the blonde haired Black daughter through the corridor, faking surprise and shock at some of the things she saw. Narcissa appeared friendly enough though Hermione had noticed she was cold and distant to many students. No one seemed to speak to her unless spoken to. Lucius was constantly watching her but she had ice cold ignored him.

"I noticed that Malfoy brat was looking at you," Hermione said carelessly as she realized Narcissa had taken her to the fourth floor and they were walking through one of the empty corridors. From the way Narcissa had acted she had already learned Narcissa was not a fan of Lucius Malfoy. It seemed strange he was to become her husband and she would give him a son. "Seems he's taken quite a shine to you."

"You only have been here one morning and already picking out the rotten ones," Narcissa grinned and looked over her shoulder, her blue eyes piercing into Hermione's brown. "I like you." Her lips curled up into a devious smile. "The Malfoy boy is a brat, indeed. Unfortunately he is also a pure blood brat from a good family and my parents have decided I am to marry him when I leave Hogwarts. I suppose it could be worse. Poor Bella ended up with Rodolphus Lestrange."

Hermione was surprised by the carless tone in Narcissa's voice. She seemed not the least bothered by the fact she was to marry a man she did not love and that her marriage had been arranged for her. She wondered whether being a pure blood really was that different or whether it was purely so in certain families. "Have they married yet?" Hermione knew Bellatrix was five years older than Narcissa, so it was likely the oldest Black had married.

"They married two summers ago. Poor Bella wanted a winter wedding. Cold, like her," Narcissa grinned as she spoke of her sister. But her voice was warm and Hermione sensed the genuine love she felt for Bellatrix. She remembered that throughout the years Narcissa had always been loyal to Bellatrix and Narcissa had been the only one that held a place in Bellatrix's heart. It was likely Narcissa was the only one Bellatrix ever loved. "I believe Mother and Father have urged her to produce an heir but I do not think she has allowed Rodolphus to touch her with one finger, let alone anything else. She is too busy with that Dark Lord of hers to care about her husband."

It was the first time Hermione had heard the mention of Lord Voldemort. The idea he was around, and gaining in power rapidly in the upcoming years, was frightening. She thought back at Harry's parents, sitting at the Gryffindor table. Only a few more years from now they would be dead. Murdered by the hands of the very wizard Narcissa had just mentioned.

They held still by a window. Hermione realized she had never even been here before. She had walked around in this castle for six years but never found this spot. Narcissa had led her to a window and through that window they could step out onto a balcony and walk the roof of one of the smaller towers. Narcissa gracefully climbed through the window and then stuck out her hand to help Hermione. Hermione took her hand and then climbed outside, landing softly on the roof. Narcissa had walked to the edge and Hermione watched her from a distance.

"This is why I love Hogwarts so much," Narcissa said from where she was standing, without looking up. "There is always a place where nobody can find you" She slowly turned around and looked at Hermione curiously. "Have you been set up for marriage?"

"No," Hermione answered truthfully but then decided to play right into Narcissa's cards "My parents are still trying to find a suitable husband that is worthy enough. Or so they tell me. I think they cannot find one since I cause too much trouble."

Somewhere in the castle rang a bell and Narcissa rolled her eyes. "Speaking of trouble, we'd better go or old McGonnagal will turn us into an ugly Gryffindor pocket watch!"

A day of classes had passed quickly. Hermione noticed how she had surprised both teachers and fellow students with her skills. Narcissa had peered into her cauldron in jealousy after Hermione produced an almost perfect love potion, causing Slughorn to praise her into Heaven and asking her questions about her family. Hermione knew he would attempt to drag her into the Slug Club but she wasn't sure whether she wanted herself to be. She couldn't risk a picture of herself being taken and ending up somewhere in the future.

Day after day passed quickly, the weather changed outside and winter came quickly. The wind was howling around the castle and the Christmas decorations had magically appeared around the castle. Slytherin common room was probably the only room in the castle still as cold as ever. There was only one poor, small Christmas tree in the corner and no one even dared humming Christmas melodies. Hermione had found herself growing closer to Narcissa every passing day. They shared their dormitory with three other girls, took their classes together and spend their evenings in the library or common room doing their homework or talking. Sometimes Narcissa would take her to another one of her favourite places around the castle. When she was alone with Narcissa, Hermione almost forgot she was in Slytherin. Narcissa was the opposite of Bellatrix. She was kind and warm to those that were near to her, though cold and distant to those that weren't.

Severus Snape had not only proven himself to be the favourite object of torment for James Potter and Sirius Black, Narcissa also amused herself by making him trip over his own trousers as he walked up the stairs or making his bag tear open in the middle of a busy corridor. Hermione couldn't help but finding it terribly amusing, since her hatred for Snape had not faded even though she had gone back in time, and one night she had reached for her wand before Narcissa did and muttered "Incendio" and his robes caught fire. Narcissa had looked at Hermione in shock before bursting at in laughter.

It was another late night after a long day filled with classes. Hermione has just closed her Potions book and finished her essay for Slughorn, which was due the next day. There was no sign of Narcissa. She had said something about needing to get something from the library. Hermione was ready for a long bath before going to bed for a night of well-deserved sleep. Tomorrow was the first day of the Christmas holidays and she was unsure what was going to happen. It looked like she would have to stay at Hogwarts, as one of the few students who had nowhere to go. Narcissa had told her she would be going home to spend Christmas with her family. Hermione felt somewhat lost and lonely about that idea, knowing she would not be able to see Narcissa for two weeks.

She had caught herself staring at the blonde Black heir many times, musing over her beauty and captured by her appearance. The sound of her voice made hear ears tingle. Narcissa walked and moved as if she was dancing on air, her hips moving slightly as she did so. She was fascinated by Narcissa and mesmerized by her beauty. Often Narcissa had become the subject of her daydreams, her midnight fantasies as she lay in bed at night. The first time it happened it confused her but now it had just become part of a night time routine.

Hermione pushed herself out of the black leather armchair and strode across the common room. Most students had gone to bed. A few fourth years were still working on McGonagall's Transfiguration essay. Hermione walked past them and made her way to the bathroom. She filled the bath with the hot water and endless bubbles. Warm scents lingered around the massive bathroom and penetrated her nose before she slipped out of her black robes and stepped into the hot water. It caressed her naked body and cherished her skin. Hermione moaned in pleasure at the touch of the water and then took a dive before swimming a few lanes.

She didn't hear the door open, nor did she feel the other person enter the water with her. She was surprised and shocked to feel two hands on her shoulders and with a soft scream she turned around. Narcissa had appeared behind her. Fully naked, her blonde hair wet. Her blue eyes seemed brighter than ever and Hermione backed herself away, to make sure her heart did not start racing madly. But it was pounding madly and she had to mentally restrain herself to control her breathing.

"Hi," Narcissa said playfully "I hope you don't mind me joining you?"

"Of course not, Cissy. It's fine" Hermione stuttered and tried not to stare at Narcissa's naked body. Through the water she could see the swell of her breasts, the dark points where her nipples were. She suddenly became aware of her own nakedness and carefully tried to cover herself with some bubbles. Narcissa swam around the pool a bit, obviously feeling a lot more comfortable than Hermione did. Hermione sat at the side, watching Narcissa as she swam around in the pool. When she came towards her, Hermione turned around and thought it time to leave the pool. But she never got that far.

All of a sudden Narcissa reappeared behind Hermione, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her towards her. Narcissa's firm breasts pressed against Hermione's back and Hermione's body froze when she felt Narcissa's hands without warning sliding down to her breasts. With a soft moan Hermione threw her head back, exposing the soft flesh of her neck and Narcissa attacked it passionately. Her lips closed on her skin, sucking roughly until the bright red bruise became visible. Her slim fingers teased Hermione's nipples. Her breasts were only just full grown; her body had never been touched by anybody. She had never been with anyone. She had only ever kissed one other person. And now, here in this bath, there was a seventeen year old girl with her. Naked. Nibbling on her neck and massaging her breasts.

"Cissy," Hermione mused softly and turned her head slightly. Her head was spinning. She could not quite believe this was happening. That Narcissa was really standing behind her, naked. That it really were her arms around her waist, her lips kissing her skin. Narcissa's hungry lips captured Hermione's. The kiss was forceful and almost bruised her lips. Hermione fought a battle for control with Narcissa's tongue, allowing the blonde Black to force herself a way into her mouth before playfully twirling her tongue around Hermione's.

"I've wanted to do this from the moment I met you," Narcissa whispered as her fingers pinched Hermione's nipples and she teasingly smiled. Hermione groaned both at the unexpected pain and because Narcissa's lips were no longer on her own. Narcissa's breath was hot against her ear. "I love you, Rose Cabot. I have done from the moment I met you. But no one must ever know! No one can ever know. My family will disown me. This will be our secret."

Hermione at this point wad willingly to do anything as long as Narcissa kept touching her. She turned around, now pinned between the side of the pool and Narcissa's body. For a brief second the image of the grown up Narcissa flashed before her eyes; wife of Lucius, mother of Draco, enemy of the Order of the Phoenix. She was the sister of Bellatrix Lestrange; a pureblood witch from a dark family.  
But Hermione forgot all about the future. She forgot all about the present. She urgently pressed her naked body around Narcissa's, wrapping her legs around her back. Their bodies moved in the same rhythm in the hot water.

Narcissa's nails scratched Hermione's back as she pressed the brown haired witch against her naked body, her full breasts against Hermione's. She had not lied. She had taken a fancy to Hermione from the moment she saw her. The moment she climbed through the portrait and their eyes connected her heart had started racing faster. All she could think about during her classes was about how beautiful she was and how it would feel like to cherish her skin and taste those lips. So many times she had found herself lost in those coffee coloured eyes, often missing parts of what Hermione was saying because she was simply staring at her lips moving.

"Is this your first time?" Narcissa whispered as her finger trailed down Hermione's stomach. Hermione couldn't do anything else but nod, her eyes pierced into Narcissa's. She felt the warm heat between her legs grow stronger and her body's responses felt so strange and at the same time so familiar. It was as if some invisible hand had taken over and she was just responding to her natural urges. She copied Narcissa's move, letting her right hand slide down Narcissa's stomach and it came to a rest on her thigh. "I promise I'll be careful."

And with those words Narcissa entered Hermione with two slim fingers. Hermione screamed in excitement when she felt Narcissa's fingers slip deep into her core. Her back arched and almost instantly she lowered her own hand between Narcissa's legs. She was greeted by a hot, soft wetness between her folds. Her fingers explored her before entering her. Two fingers slipped tenderly into Narcissa's core, causing those beautiful blue eyes to widen in lust and passion. Hermione started thrusting into her in a steady rhythm, feeling Narcissa copy it quickly.

"Cissy, you feel so good" Hermione whispered, not fully realizing what she was doing. She had lost track of time and space. It was just her and this young woman; just her and this beautiful blonde with stunning blue eyes. There was no one else, nothing else. Somewhere inside her something rumbled; something deep and strong.

Narcissa's lips were on her skin. Kissing and bruising; her teeth grazing and biting and bruising her body. Hermione dug her nails in Narcissa's back, pressing her tighter against her. She still had her legs wrapped around her and her fingers thrusted deeper and quicker into her. Narcissa's breathing increased and little pearls of sweat dripped from her forehead and down to her breasts. She whispered soft words into Hermione's hair as she held onto her more desperately.

"ROSE!" she suddenly cried out as she tightened around Hermione's fingers. Her juices became more powerful and sweeter and Hermione's fingers slipped in even further, all the way to her second knuckles, as Narcissa shivered on her legs. She kept thrusting as Narcissa's body heavily shook while she rode the waves of her orgasm. Her moans were loud and echoed through the bathroom. She threw back her head, her long blonde hair falling backwards and Hermione eagerly attacked her neck and sucked on the junction between her neck and breast bone. Narcissa groaned in pleasure while her body slowly eased down after her orgasm. She rested her head on Hermione's shoulder as she carefully replaced her fingers and once again entered Hermione's core.

It didn't take long for Hermione to reach her orgasm. She arched her back while pressing her lower body against Narcissa's. Narcissa's fingers were deeply inside her, rubbing her sensitive button as she did so and from out of nowhere the most glorious sensation overwhelmed Hermione. She shook as her body went through its spasms. She screamed in a voice she didn't recognised. Silver stars danced before her eyes and when she finally managed to focus she found Narcissa smirking at her.

"You are beautiful," Narcissa whispered as she ran her fingers through Hermione's wet hair "What would you say if I'd ask you to come and spend Christmas with me and my family? I bet you and Bellatrix would get on quite well. She never liked poor little Severus either".

_Bellatri__x._ It was the mention of that name that made Hermione realize what she had just done. She had just lost her virginity to Narcissa Black, one day to become Narcissa Malfoy. She had just heard Narcissa whisper she loved her. Her eyes widened while in her chest her heart skipped a beat. She swallowed and hoped Narcissa had not sensed the change in her emotion. She weakly smiled as she rested her head on Narcissa's chest, her fingers running through her blonde hair. She smelled amazing, Hermione thought. And she felt so soft, so pure. And she was so beautiful.

"I would love to," Hermione whispered, knowing she had to go. Not just because she so desperately wanted to be with Narcissa but because meeting Bellatrix was all part of the plan. "But no one is to know about us, are they?" She kissed Narcissa's neck. "This will be our little secret?"

Narcissa kissed Hermione somewhere on her shoulder. "It will always be our secret."


	3. Painful Warnings

**Chapter 3**

She sat in the common room and stared into the flames. It was abandoned and cold. She had dragged her favourite leather chair to the fire and had summoned a blanket. The sky outside was black and filled with snow. The grounds outside were already covered in a tender, soft white blanket and the snow was mysteriously shiny in the pale moonlight that fell through the snow filled clouds. The silence was her companion and she enjoyed the loneliness.

Hermione huddled a bit deeper into the blanket that lay over her shoulders, her head resting against the side of the chair. She was tired but could not find the strength to go to bed. Her mind kept taking her back to the events that took place in the bathroom earlier that night. Her and Narcissa; together and naked. Lips that had captured her own and had bruised her skin. That kissed her. Teeth had grazed across her body. Hands that found places never touched before. Feelings that had surfaced she never even knew she had.

But most of all there was confusion. She knew what had happened was wrong. Narcissa Black was a seventeen year old girl who would one day become a Death Eater's wife and the mother of her arch enemy. But today she was all but that. Today she was a blonde young woman with amazing blue eyes, soft skin, and sweet tender lips. And she was everything that was forbidden. And just as things are when they are forbidden, she was beautiful and attractive.

Hermione rubbed her eyes. She was everything Narcissa hated. She was a Muggle born; a Mudblood. One day she would be the best friend of the boy who caused Lord Voldemort's downfall; who would send Lucius Malfoy to prison. The boy who hated Narcissa's son possibly even more than Hermione did. But today, Hermione was a liar; a liar to Narcissa and to herself. She had betrayed everything she stood for. But most of all, she had betrayed Narcissa. The only thing that was true was the way she felt about her and being a prisoner in this time, even some of that still felt like a lie.

Hermione opened her eyes the next morning. The warmth of her bed was a tender comfort. Her body ached. She had stayed up late, sitting in the cold common room. It was after three o'clock when she finally made her way to the dormitory. After she had climbed into bed she had watched Narcissa sleep. And she had cried.

But the tears had dried now. As she sat up her eyes immediately drifted to the bed next to hers. Narcissa was awake and had been watching Hermione. Hermione had no idea for how long. Now that brown eyes met blue Narcissa felt caught and she blushed slightly. A smile lingered around her lips now that she found Hermione awake and Hermione returned the smile.

"Morning," Hermione whispered softly. None of the other girls were awake yet and the dormitory was covered in silence. She pushed herself up, now resting on her elbows.

"Morning," Narcissa returned the greeting and with a gracious jump she leapt out of bed. Her feet softly touched the floor and without making a noise she walked around. She now stood at the side of Hermione's bed and she pulled the duvet covers aside without asking. Her blue eyes twinkled. Narcissa looked beautiful in the weak morning light that fell through one of the windows. "Move over, Rose."

Hermione moved aside willingly and Narcissa climbed into bed with her. Hermione shivered when she felt Narcissa's warm leg against her own and softly moaned when Narcissa's arms slipped around her and the blonde hair tickled her face when she lay her head down on her chest. Hermione absentmindedly kissed her on her head, her slim fingers brushing through Narcissa's blonde hair. Her other hand caressed her arm.

"The train leaves at noon, remember?" Narcissa whispered softly and Hermione held her breath. She had thought about the visit to the Black residence while she was sitting in the common room last night. The thought of being faced with a young Bellatrix Lestrange was a terrifying thought while at the same time she felt a sense of strength inside her she didn't even know she had.

"There are some things you will need to know before you meet my family," Narcissa brushed her lips against the bare skin of Hermione's neck; her warm breath caused Hermione to come out in goose bumps. "Whatever you do, do not mention my sister Andromeda. She has disgraced our family. We do not speak of her." Hermione's heart skipped a beat at the mention of Tonks' mother. Though she had never met her, she knew Tonks well and someone who had given birth to such a lovely person could not hold an evil cell in her body. She knew the Blacks had disowned her for marrying a Muggle. "Though Father thinks differently, Bella always makes the rules around the house. If she cannot get her way she will end up having one of her tantrums. She is arrogant, cold but brilliant and kind."

Hermione wondered how the words arrogant, cold and kind could possibly go together, let alone describe the same person but she did not ask. Everything Narcissa told her was valuable information. She flinched. Somewhere she hurt. She knew she was using Narcissa. And she had to. She had a mission to complete. But at the same time the pure kindness and beauty that was Narcissa lay with her head resting on her chest, vulnerable and sweet. Hermione swallowed back her pain, her sense of betrayal and planted another kiss on those golden blonde locks.

"Rodolphus is a prat, much like Malfoy. But he is my sister's husband and Father thinks highly of him so treat him with respect but do not be friendly. His brother Rabastan is probably even worse, if that is even possible. He is not yet married and may find you a suitable mate," Narcissa lifted up her head and carefully kissed Hermione on the lips. The sweetness was gone too soon and Hermione whimpered in disappointment. She wanted to feel those lips on hers all the time. "If he so much as looks at you I'll hex him."

"I thought no one was to know?" Hermione whispered, her words almost getting lost in Narcissa's blonde hair.

"My family would disown me because I am to marry Lucius Malfoy. No one is ever to know." Hermione heard the sadness in Narcissa's voice and she sighed. Her eyes closed. Narcissa's body was warm against her own. "But that does not mean this has to end though." Hermione knew what Narcissa was saying. But she knew it would have to end. And it would end much sooner than either of them wished.

By the time noon came Hermione and Narcissa were amongst an anxious gathering of students waiting to board the Hogwarts Express back to London. Their little encounter in the Dormitory had not lasted much longer as the other girls had started to wake up. Narcissa had slipped back into her bed unnoticed. Her blue eyes kept finding Hermione's brown throughout the morning though neither spoke much. Hermione's eyes kept drifting to the teacher's table but every time she did she found Minerva McGonnagal talking to one of the other teachers. But whenever she wasn't looking she felt those green eyes rest upon her.

"What's McGonnagal doing here?" Narcissa suddenly whispered beside Hermione, nudging her in the ribs with her elbow. Hermione looked up. Her thoughts were stored in the back of her mind and she found Narcissa was right. Minerva had appeared at the end of the platform, overseeing the arrival of several first year Gryffindors. "Merlin's Beard, I hope she isn't here to give me another lecture."

Hermione suspected Minerva's arrival at Hogsmeade Station had very little to do with Narcissa. She watched as the older witch made herself a way through the crowd of students and it wasn't long until she reached Hermione and Narcissa. Everything about Narcissa's posture changed, Hermione noticed and to not look out of place she copied the defensive body language and daring look. She noticed her change did not stay unnoticed to Minerva, who narrowed her eyes as they pierced into her own.

"Miss Black, Miss Cabot," she greeted the pair of them calmly though she did not pay a lot of attention to Narcissa. She was only focused on Hermione. "Miss Cabot, I am sorry to interrupt but I have a message from the Headmaster. It is from your family. I hope you can spare five minutes?" Now she glanced at Narcissa, whose hand was resting on Hermione's arm. "Before you depart with Miss Black?"

Hermione nodded reluctantly. She didn't want to leave Narcissa's side but knew Minerva's appearance had something to do with the Order and her mission. She followed her to the other side of the platform, catching Narcissa's eyes as she glanced over her shoulder. She watched her board the train and promised herself she would look for her as soon as she got on the train too.

"What's wrong, Professor?" Hermione whispered, her eyes climbing up from Minerva's feet to her eyes. She was once again surprised by her beauty. Minerva McGonnagal had once been a tall, beautiful, green eyes and ash blonde haired witch with strong yet soft facial features. "Is there anything going on I need to know?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing, Miss Granger," Minerva answered softly. Hermione flinched when she heard her real name. Somehow the real Hermione Granger had appeared nothing but a distant memory since she arrived at Hogwarts. "I see you have grown quite close to Narcissa Black and spend a lot of time with her."

"Isn't that what you wanted me to do, Professor?" Hermione retorted the question defensively and she crossed her arms in front of her chest. She had managed to hide the venom in her voice but it was very clear she did not agree with what Minerva had said to her.

"It is indeed what I requested you to do," Minerva answered. Hermione's defensiveness did not go unnoticed and she stepped a bit closer to the younger witch but did not reach out to touch her. "I do hope you will not find yourself in a situation that will end up doing more bad than good, Hermione. Narcissa already is a dark and very skilled witch. You mustn't forget that. You know how she is taunting her fellow students. It is one of her favourite ways to pass time. A way, I have been told, you seem to have taken quite a liking to."

"Since when does poor little Severus Snape run to a Gryffindor Head of House?" Hermione snapped. She brushed some curls out of her eyes and shook her head. "Listen, the Order asked me to take on this mission and I have. I have risked everything. If Narcissa ever finds out who or what I am, she will do much worse to me than she has ever done to Snape. I am not a child. If the Order wants the information, you will have to let me do this my way."

Minerva cocked her head to the side. She sensed something was wrong. "Hermione, I am not stupid. I have seen the way she looks at you. And the way you look at her. I know what is going on. Know you must not act on your emotions. You cannot. Nothing is ever to happen between you and Narcissa Black. Remember who you are. Remember who she is and who she is to become. Nothing can ever happen."

Hermione spun around on her heels when she heard the train blow its final whistle. She ran to the nearest open compartment door. When she climbed the three steps she turned around and found Minerva looking at her. Her green eyes were filled with worries. Hermione's heart ached. And before she fled into the train to look for Narcissa she left Minerva with those devastating words. "It's too late for that."

The train rolled into London's King Cross station several hours later. Hermione sat next to Narcissa. They had the compartment to themselves and had spent most of their journey sitting with their arms around each other, stealing kisses and whispering soft words into each other's ear. Hermione had forced Minerva's warning into the back of head and as she felt Narcissa's fingers play with her shirt, she forgot about those words all together. Narcissa had lowered the blinds and magically locked the door so no one could see them or walk in on them. But now that the train slowly came to a standstill, Narcissa lifted her spells and glanced at Hermione.

"I will persuade Mother and Father to let you to sleep in my room. At least I will be able to hold you at night," Narcissa whispered and stood up. Hermione followed and they collected their trunks before getting off the train. As Hermione stepped onto the platform her eyes wandered around. A bit further down she could see Lily Evans leave the train. James, Sirius, Peter and Remus left the same compartment and went their separate ways. Sirius and James met up a man and a woman who were waiting for them, most likely to be James's parents; Harry's grandparents.

"CISSY!" a voice called from halfway down the platform and beside her, Narcissa turned around. Hermione turned to see who was calling out. She didn't know what she had expected but to find a young Bellatrix Lestrange running down to meet her younger sister was not what she had imagined. Narcissa flung her arms around her older sister's neck and lost herself in a passionate embrace. Hermione stood sheepishly at the side, unsure where to look before her eyes slowly drifted back to Bellatrix. She remembered Harry once saying that a lot of the Blacks carried a dark beauty.

The thick black curls were Bellatrix's most impressive feature. They fell down the sides of her face and her back. Her eyes were dark brown and heavy lidded. In no way did she remember the tormented woman Hermione had encountered at the Ministry of Magic years later. Her skin was as pure and porcelain coloured as Narcissa's. It was the only thing the two sisters had in common. Narcissa was beautiful, for sure. And her body carried the shapes and curves in the right places. But Bellatrix was simply a dark beauty. She wasn't as tall as Narcissa but her body was still in perfectly shaped condition. Through her heavy velvet dress Hermione could see the generous curves of her breasts and she had to force herself to look away before she would stare. She looked down at the platform ground until the two sisters had finished their greeting.

"And who do we have here?" Bellatrix asked curiously. Hermione recognised the tone of her voice immediately though it wasn't as manic and disturbed as it would become in later years. She looked back up, determined not to show fear. Her light brown eyes encountered dark brown and their gazes locked.

"Rose Cabot, the friend I told you about," Narcissa said, holding back a smile. This was the first time Hermione heard Narcissa had mentioned her to any of her family members. She looked at Bellatrix and straightened her back. She did not want to show fear to the oldest Black daughter. Bellatrix's brown eyes had not let go of Hermione's. It was as if she was trying to see through her and Hermione vaguely remembered somebody once saying she was quite good at Occlumency. She forced her mind empty and blank, unsure whether it was helpful or not.

"Nice to meet you, Rose Cabot," Bellatrix then said, clearly satisfied that she was indeed worthy enough to be Narcissa's friend, and gave Hermione a polite nod before taking Narcissa's arm and leading her to the exit of the station. Hermione followed, feeling somewhat like a third wheel. All the way back Narcissa was talking to Bellatrix and only occasionally got Hermione involved in the conversation. Bellatrix barely bothered recognising the other witch's presence. But once they arrived at the Black residence everything changed. As the heavy door to the Victorian house closed behind them Hermione found herself entering a different world.

The house reminded her of Grimmauld Place. It was very much the same style. It was decorated rather tastefully, she had to admit and it was immediately clear the Blacks were both purebloods and had plenty of money stored in Gringotts. Everything appeared to be the best. Bellatrix had disappeared and Narcissa and Hermione were now standing in the dim lit hallway. To their right was the dining room, to their left the entrance to what turned out to be a spacious living room. Narcissa turned to look at Hermione, her lips slowly curled up into a smile.

"I'm sorry about that," she apologised sincerely, her eyes capturing Hermione's "Bellatrix is quite a character. The more I tell her now, the less likely she is to interrupt us later. Follow me. I will introduce you to Mother and Father." But right before they walked into the living room Narcissa held still again and glanced over her shoulder. "Have I told you how beautiful you look?"

Hermione automatically touched the corset of her dress. It had been a Christmas present she found in the common room an hour before she boarded the Hogwarts Express. It did not have the name of the sender but she had recognised Minerva McGonagall's curly handwriting. The dress was made out of velvet and a deep, dark shade of burgundy red. It fitted around the curves of her body as if it had been handmade, and Hermione wouldn't have been surprised if it was. She had used some magic on her hair earlier this morning and her bushy curls now fell tenderly down the sides of her face and back. She had made every possible attempt to appear as classic and stylish as Narcissa.

She felt she was blushing and just glanced at Narcissa through her eyelashes before following her into the living room. And as she did so she began to understand why Minerva had sent her the dress. Had she not been wearing it she would most definitely looked out of place in the almost royal appearance of the room. Narcissa was wearing a long, heavy velvet dress too. Hers was cobalt blue and had a V shaped neck, whereas Hermione's was round and her corset much tighter. On the sofa in the corner of the room Hermione was faced with the woman who had given birth to the most loyal Death Eater Lord Voldemort would know, the daughter that ran off with a Muggle and a daughter who would become the coolest Ice Queen the wizard world would ever meet.

Druella Black was an impressive woman. She was tall, with long wavy black hair but steel blue eyes. The same blue eyes Narcissa had inherited. Hermione did not need long to see all the Black daughters had also inherited their mother's beauty. She had the same heavy lidded eyes like Bellatrix, the same dark pink lips like Narcissa and the same white, porcelain skin like both. Beside her sat a man who looked distant and cold. He did not look up when Narcissa entered the room. His posture betrayed he was powerful and well admired, though likely not well liked. There was something distant about him. He did not bare much resemblance to his daughters though when his eyes finally climbed up to look at Narcissa, Hermione found they were as black as Bellatrix's. His hair was thinning but it was still easy to see it had once been thick and dark, much like his wife's.

"Mother, Father," Narcissa said and walked over to her mother and kissed her on her cheek. She then kissed her father, who did not acknowledge her arrival by much more than looking at her. Mrs Black however rose from the sofa and wrapped her arms safely and tightly around her daughter. Hermione watched from the open door. The difference between mother and daughter was significant. Through the door on the opposite side of the room Bellatrix entered the living room, followed by two men.

"Mother, I would like you to meet the girl I wrote to you about," Narcissa said when her mother let go of her and she turned to face Hermione. Druella followed, her eyes now finding Hermione's for the first time. Something in her blue eyes was warm and friendly. She did not appear so distant and cold as her husband. "Mother, this is Rose Cabot."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Black," Hermione said politely. From the corner of her eye she saw how the two men who had entered with Bellatrix sat down on the sofa nearest to her. One looked at Bellatrix, the other however appeared to have only eyes for her. She remembered what Narcissa had said. This had to be Rabastan Lestrange, Bellatrix's brother-in-law. He was not unattractive, if it wasn't for the strange scar underneath his eye. But something about him made Hermione feel uneasy.

"Did no one ever tell you it is very impolite to stare, Rabastan?" Bellatrix sneered unexpectedly and suddenly several sets of eyes were resting on the dark haired witch. She briefly glanced at Hermione before her eyes drifted to Narcissa and then piercing fiercely into Rabastan's. He looked shocked, stunned. "We mustn't desire what it isn't ours to have."

"The pleasure is mutual, Miss Cabot," Druella broke the tension that had suddenly filled the room and smiled. It did not take a skilled eye to see her smile was fake. "Can I offer you a cup of tea?"

"That would be most kind, Mrs Black," Hermione answered and accepted Narcissa's invitation to sit down. She still felt Rabastan's eyes rest on her and she looked his way. He smiled. She rolled her eyes and looked away. She could see him lean in towards Rodolphus and whispered something in his ear. Bellatrix had no intention to sit beside her husband. She had sat herself on the armrest of the chair Hermione was sitting on, almost a human shield between her and Rabastan. Hermione briefly wondered if maybe, just maybe, she knew. But she couldn't...

Druella had called for their house elf to come and serve them. A humble little creature with big ears and massive eyes appeared into the living room, dressed in nothing more but grey, dirty rags. Her little voice was high pitched and she bowed so deep her nose touched the floor. Druella spoke however kindly to the elf and Hermione had to restrain herself from showing any sign of empathy towards the elf. She knew how pure blood, dark wizards treated their servants. There was no room for error on her part.

"What do your parents do Miss Cabot, if I may be so rude as to ask?" Rabastan suddenly inquired and Hermione felt nearly swept away. In her head the story that had been drilled into her by Minerva McGonnagal came to the surface and she swallowed.

"They live abroad at the moment. My father has liaisons with several foreign wizards and closes deals that highly benefit both Gringotts bank and the Ministry. I think he knows the Minister personally, if I am not mistaken. I know he sometimes returns to England with items of interest to wizards in our community. My mother looks after my younger brother who is not yet of age to attend Hogwarts," she answered firmly. She felt Bellatrix shift next to her and wondered whether the comment about her father knowing foreign wizards had stirred an interest in the dark haired witch. She realized Voldemort would highly benefit from foreign liaisons.

"Maybe I am to write to your father and inquire whether he needs someone working for him here," Rabastan answered. Something about him reminded Hermione off both the sleaziness of Lucius and Draco Malfoy and she shivered at the idea.

"Back off Rabastan," Bellatrix barked, causing Narcissa to almost jump out of her seat in shock "I am sure Miss Cabot's parents have made sufficient arrangements for her future. I do not see the worthiness of that future to include you however." She paused and glanced at Hermione beside her. "Or why my future included your lousy brother."

Hermione smiled weakly. Something about Bellatrix's defensiveness worried her. She was unsure why. She glanced at Narcissa and found she was looking back at her. It was almost as if Narcissa looked out of place. Cygnus Black had still not spoken a word but his eyes were resting on Bellatrix. Bellatrix herself ignored her husband and seemed to find it entertaining to both embarrass him and snap at his brother. Suddenly Cygnus rose to his feet.

"Bellatrix, I have asked you numerous times to treat your brother-in-law with the respect a man of his standards deserves," he spoke sternly to his daughter though Bellatrix showed no sign of backing down. She was a grown woman now and from the look in her eyes Hermione suspected she didn't let anyone tell her what to do; anyone but Voldemort. "I suggest you mind your tongue."

"Yes Father," Bellatrix spat, not meaning a word of her answer. She glanced at Rabastan whose face was glowing in amusement and he nudges his brother. Rudolphus looked utterly miserable. Somehow it looked as if he really loved his wife. Though Hermione knew she never returned those feelings. Seeing Bellatrix as her younger self made it even clearer.

"Come on Rose, we'll take your trunk upstairs," Narcissa rose from her chair and Hermione eagerly followed. She was happy to leave the living room behind and closely followed Narcissa up the stairs that lead to the second floor. Narcissa walked into a room that was the last one down the hall. When the door closed behind them, Narcissa pinned Hermione against it and her hot breath tickled Hermione's face.

"I am happy to have a few minutes alone with you," she whispered softly and her lips brushed against Hermione's before softly pressing them onto hers. She tenderly kissed her, closing her eyes as she did so. Hermione responded. She too closed her eyes as she tasted the sweetness of Narcissa's lips on her own. She moaned softly when Narcissa's tongue skilfully found its way into her mouth and she greeted it with her own. Her hands gently caressed Narcissa's back before sliding up and disappearing in her blonde hair.

"If they only knew," Hermione whispered, her words almost getting lost in the kiss "Ooh Cissy..."

"Ssssh," Narcissa suddenly urged her and backed away. Hermione suppressed a whimper and she too moved away from the door. Only then did she hear the footsteps on the landing and they held still outside the door. They were followed by a soft knock and then the door opened. Bellatrix walked into the room and she immediately found her sister and Hermione standing in the middle of the room. Hermione's trunk stood untouched by the end of the bed.

"Cissy, if mother and father knew," Bellatrix spoke softly as she closed the door behind her. This was a completely different Bellatrix than the one Hermione had seen downstairs. Her voice was warm and soft, her eyes no longer harsh. "You know what happened to Andromeda." She then glanced at Hermione. "Rose, if your parents share even the slightest of my parent's values the same fate will await you. Cissy, you are being foolish once again."

Hermione stood nailed to the floor. She had no idea how Bellatrix even knew. Narcissa however was not as shocked as Hermione and approached her sister. "You however have not disowned me, Bella. And I know you have not disowned Andy. No matter what that Dark Lord of yours tell you. You have not lost your heart like Rabastan and Rodolphus. You are no fool."

"It appears foolishness was reserved for you," Bellatrix answered and despair lingered in her eyes. Hermione was shocked to see this much emotion in the woman who would one day torture people as a favourite waste of time "You are my sister, Cissy. And I love you. I love Andy too, though if anyone knew no one would speak to me anymore. You know the rules in our family, Cissy. You are to marry Lucius Malfoy next summer." She paused, her eyes now finding Hermione. "This cannot be."

Narcissa shook her head. "Bella, I can handle my own life," she said softly "No one will ever know what happened here because I will never tell." A sting of pain shot through Hermione's heart. Hearing Narcissa say those words made her realize this really was never to last, for so many different reasons. "I know this is never to be."

There was no chance for anything else to be said. Druella called from downstairs, announcing it was time for tea. Hermione followed Bellatrix and Narcissa down the stairs but whereas Narcissa walked into the living room, Bellatrix stopped Hermione and pushed her into the dining room. The door closed softly behind them and when Hermione turned she found Bellatrix standing closely behind her. The closeness of the oldest Black made her feel uncomfortable but there wasn't a lot of room to move away, and definitely not to do it unnoticed.

"Before you say anything, I agree with Narcissa. I know this is never to be. But unfortunately foolishness does not only hold her captive," Hermione said as she lifted up her gaze to meet Bellatrix's dark brown eyes. "I too am aware of the consequences this will hold for both of us. I do not intend to burden your sister nor do I intend to disgrace her. Narcissa is very special. I know she is to marry Lucius Malfoy and I will and cannot stand in her way. My future too has been set in stone, though I don't think they have finished writing yet."

"You are a smart young woman, Rose," Bellatrix said and suddenly she smiled. "Narcissa means a lot to me. I do not doubt she told you about our other sister. I do not wish for the same to happen to her. I can see the way she looks at you. She has never kept secrets from me. And I know she never will. I beg you to be careful. The wrath of my father can be ruthless."

"As ruthless as allowing his daughter to marry a Lestrange?" Hermione had spoken before she fully realized it. "I never got a chance to thank you for readjusting Rabastan's behaviour."

"Consider it a favour," Bellatrix answered and suddenly she flinched in pain. Her right hand rubbed her left lower arm and Hermione realized she already had the dark mark.

"Are you all right?" she questioned carefully and Bellatrix narrowed her eyes, as if trying to work out whether Hermione, or Rose to her, was truth worthy enough to know her secret.

"Narcissa tells me you have been setting fire to Severus Snape," Bellatrix spoke in approval "I suggest you ask Narcissa to teach you the Cruciatus Curse, if you do not yet possess the skill." She tenderly rolled up her sleeve and showed her lower arm. The black dark mark on her white skin was clear. It was burning painfully. Hermione stared down at the skull with the snake for its tongue. Bellatrix was already a Death Eater, though strangely enough she was still so human. "Maybe one day you and Cissy can both join the right cause."

"Pure bloods first," Hermione licked her lips and her eyes were glowing dangerously. She knew how to play right into Bellatrix's cards and gain her trust "Yes, I am off the opinion those filthy little Mudbloods are a disgrace to the Wizarding world. They march the corridors at Hogwarts as if they own the place. It is a waste of magical skill to teach those who do not deserve to be taught. Narcissa has told me about your Dark Lord but please enlighten me."

Bellatrix smirked. "He is the most powerful wizard to have ever walked this Earth. He is the heir of Slytherin. Pure blood runs through his veins like it does in yours and mine. One day he will dominate the Wizarding world. Everyone will see who is righteous and who is not."

Hermione recognised the flaws in what Bellatrix said. Voldemort had lied to all his followers. She hid her feelings and nodded. She wanted to speak but the door opened and Narcissa peered around. She grinned when she found Hermione talking to her sister. Bellatrix quickly rolled down her sleeve and Hermione wondered whether Narcissa even realized what Bellatrix had been doing. "Bella, I hope your lousy marriage has not sent you after my lover."

"Most definitely not, Cissy. I was merely talking to Rose about life," Bellatrix answered and walked past Narcissa out of the dining room. She turned before walking into the living room. "Remember what I said. You may find it interesting."

Narcissa looked at Hermione, who pulled up her shoulders and then followed her secret lover into the living room. Christmas at the Black's was about to start.


	4. Leaving Is The Only Way Out

**Chapter 4  
**

Hermione had never expected Christmas at the Black residence to be a happy family gathering. And it turned out her expectations had been right. Had it not been for the Christmas tree lit by real candles in the corner of the room or the fact that presents were actually given and unwrapped, no one would have believed it was Christmas at all. Whatever warmth there was in the house came from Narcissa and the tender gazes they shared when no one else was watching. The rest of the family was cold and distant and Hermione found herself surprised by how little the members actually spoke to each other. Bellatrix deliberately ignored her father and both Cygnus and Druella did not speak to their eldest child.

Hermione had plenty of chances to watch the relationships in this family and her heart had filled with the same cold sadness that lingered in the house like a silent and invisible burden. It was as if solid walls had risen between these people. No one saw each other. No one spoke of affection. No one reached out to touch someone tenderly. There were no smiles, there was no laughter. It was clear to her that things in this family were far from what she would have ever called normal.

The holidays rushed by but Hermione found herself not to be upset to return to Hogwarts. The cold yet familiar feeling of the Slytherin common room would mean a welcome break from the depressive feeling that forever lingered in the Black house. Many evenings the Blacks discussed Narcissa's upcoming wedding to Lucius Malfoy and though neither of them showed it, the pain was a mutual torment they shared. Whenever darkness had fallen and silence had covered the house, they would find themselves in each other's arms. Silent tears dripped onto their pillows or disappeared in their hair. As the days past, Hermione realized that she had very little time left before having to leave Narcissa for good. And she knew she could not say goodbye.

It was the thought of leaving more than the painful knowledge of Narcissa marrying Lucius that caused her to cry silently when Narcissa had finally fallen asleep. She had learned a lot about Narcissa, Bellatrix and the early rise of Voldemort's Death Eaters. She had even heard names of witches and wizards to be Death Eaters she had never heard before. Though the Blacks were not Death Eaters they agreed with the opinions expressed by Voldemort and his followers and Cygnus Black approved of Bellatrix, Rudolphus and Rabastan being in Voldemort's close circle of people he trusted.

The morning of their return to Hogwarts arrived almost unnoticed and they were woken by Bellatrix knocking on their door, urging them to hurry up. Hermione slipped out of bed and walked to the window. She carefully pulled the curtains aside and faced the outside world. It was a freezing cold January day. The snow had disappeared and a weak winter sun peered through grey clouds. It was cold outside and Hermione buried herself a little deeper in her cloak and wrapped her Slytherin scarf a bit tighter around her neck. Returning to Hogwarts meant more freedom for her and Narcissa. The two weeks spent at the Black residence had meant they barely had time together but once they would arrive back at Hogwarts that was all about to change.

Hermione and Narcissa stood side by side on King's Cross station. The Hogwarts Express had just opened its doors and they both climbed the three steps to the carriages and found an empty compartment. Narcissa lowered the blinds and magically locked the door. She sat down and Hermione grinned mischievously before climbing playfully onto her lap, her hands disappearing in Narcissa's blonde hair. She leant in and kissed her tenderly on the lips.

Narcissa's eyes fluttered shut as her hands slowly climbed up Hermione's back and pushed her closer into her, pressing her body against her own. A soft moan escaped from somewhere deep inside her throat when her lips captured Hermione's, carefully parting her lips and allowing the brown haired witch to explore her inside. Hermione's tongue carefully yet powerfully twirled around her own.

"I don't think I'd be able to miss this, Rose," Narcissa whispered. Tears fell from her eyes, mixing with the sweetness of their kiss. When Hermione wanted to pull away she grasped those brown curls and pulled her closer. Narcissa's other hand carefully trailed down Hermione's back before finding the hem of her jumper and slipping tenderly underneath. Her slim fingers caressed the small of her back. "I need you."

Hermione leant back, her eyes slowly opening and she saw the tears run down Narcissa's cheeks. She reached up her hand and tenderly brushed them from her skin. Narcissa rubbed her face again the palm of Hermione's hand and Hermione's eyes finally met Narcissa's gaze. "And I need you," she whispered softly. And it was true. She needed her. "I don't want to miss you."

"We can run away together," Narcissa dreamed softly and her eyes fell shut once again when Hermione carefully brushed some blonde strings of hair out of her face. "Run away to a place where they will never find us."

Hermione didn't answer. As much as she desired to be with Narcissa, she knew the truth to be different. Somewhere out there lay her future. There was a fight waiting for her. She knew she had to leave. She was overwhelmed by Narcissa's beauty and tenderness. She wanted to be with her so badly but it was life that would separate them forever.

"You know we can never do that," Hermione muttered softly and leant in. She partially hid her face in Narcissa's blonde hair. Her heart broke in her chest, shattering in countless pieces. She kissed Narcissa somewhere on the side of her neck, her lips gently caressing soft skin. Narcissa shivered.

And they sat in silence for most of their journey back to Hogwarts. It was as if their silence spoke more than words would ever be able to say. Hermione's head rested on Narcissa's chest, her mind tormented by the images of a woman who had married a Death Eater and had a sun the same age as she was. The image of the Narcissa Malfoy she remembered kept flashing before her eyes; ice cold blue eyes in a pale and emotionless face. It was not the face she has gotten so used to. It were not the same eyes that had just shed those painful tears. But it was the same woman. And all that was now was never to be in the future. All this was going to be was a memory for both though maybe only one of them would really remember.

~()~

Narcissa's fingers had slipped deeply inside Hermione and she moved urgently and passionately. Her moans were deep and low. Her nails scratched Hermione's back as her body kept her firmly pinned to the mattress of her bed. They were alone. Everybody else was in the Great Hall for the feast. They had not bothered. Their clothes lay scattered over the grounds, their trunks abandoned at the end of the bed. Narcissa's lay on top of Hermione, her hand still pressing urgently against her most sensitive spot as two fingers had entered her damp core.

Hermione arched her back, offering more of her naked body to Narcissa. Her neck and breasts were bruised by powerful and hungry kisses. Her nipples were still rock hard and her brown eyes were filled with the purest form of lust and passion. She had spread her legs to allow Narcissa more room and now gasped for air as Narcissa trailed down the side of her neck and her lips tormented her nipples before sliding down her stomach. A wave of blind passion shot through her body and her fists grabbed hold of strings of blonde hair as Narcissa lowered eagerly between her legs. Hermione arched her hips and offered herself to Narcissa, who eagerly accepted. She tasted the sweet juices as her tongue explored the warm folds before her.

"Cissy!" Hermione whimpered through gritted teeth when she felt Narcissa's tongue please her. She arched her back and her hips further and further. Her hands slipped from blonde hair to the mattress and urgently she rocked her body faster and faster, matching Narcissa's rhythm. Suddenly they buckled underneath her and a sweet wave of juices greeted Narcissa.

The blonde witch moaned in surprise but did not stop until Hermione's shaking hands pushed her away. Her beautiful was body was covered in a thin layer of sweat that was glowing in the weak light of the room. She shivered and she turned her head to meet those beautiful blue eyes. When Narcissa leant in to kiss her Hermione tasted herself on those sweet lips and smiled.

Her hands trailed down Narcissa's arms before cupping her breasts, her nipples responded under her fingers, growing rock hard. Hermione's eyes twinkled in pleasure as her lips nibbled the side of Narcissa's neck, bruising her skin before her teeth grazed down and tormented her breasts and nipples roughly.

"Rose," Narcissa whispered and Hermione removed her lips from her nipple. The skin around it was bruised and red and she grinned to herself. She licked herself a way down Narcissa's stomach, feeling the other woman wither underneath her butterfly kisses. Hermione trailed her way further down until she was greeted by the soft touch of wet folds and the sweet scent of erotic juices. Narcissa cried out when she felt Hermione's tongue and her nails dug into the brunette's shoulders as Hermione's tongue quickly found her little nub and started teasing and nibbling it.

Pearls of sweat ran down the valley of her breasts and her juices increased as her climb to her orgasm to her higher and higher. And then she fell and she let herself fall. Narcissa rode the waves of her orgasm, her body trembling as she did so. Once she slowly found her way back down she found a soft, warm body rest against her own. Hermione's arm was tenderly wrapped around her waist and her head rested on her chest and listened to her heart beat. Her brown curls tickled her breast.

"Do you think they'll come looking for us?" Hermione whispered in Narcissa's ear.

They lay naked entangled in each other's arms in the mess that had once been Hermione's carefully made bed in the dormitory. Narcissa's fingers had entwined in Hermione's curls, her lips resting against her temple and kissing her absentmindedly. "I don't know. I have never missed a feast before."

"Maybe we should get dressed. They will all return soon," Hermione suggested. The last thing they needed was to be discovered by their fellow Slytherin students. Narcissa agreed and carefully slipped out of bed. Hermione lazily watched her as Narcissa got dressed. She looked beautiful naked. The thought of Lucius Malfoy one day being faced with this was a torment. And to know that one day she would never see it again was maybe even more painful.

Hermione too climbed out of bed and gathered her clothes. She got dressed and brushed her hair. Somewhere in the distance something announced the finishing of the feast. Hundreds of footsteps made their way through the castle and Hermione thought it was that she and Narcissa would not be discovered in the dormitory. They made their way down to the common room and sat down by the fire. Narcissa had taken a book; Hermione was rereading an essay she had written before the holidays. It did not take long for voices to echo through the dungeon corridor and seconds later the first Slyhterins made their arrival in the common room. A fellow seventh year walked over to Hermione.

"Cabot, McGonnagal wants to see you," the boy said and Hermione put down her essay and frowned before glancing at Narcissa.

"What have I done now?" Hermione muttered in frustration and she slipped out of her comfortable arm chair "I hate her being Headmistress. She thinks it gives her every right to boss me around." She made her way through the trapdoor and walked through the dungeons and across the castle to Minerva McGonagall's office. She came across a few Gryffindors who were on their way to the seventh floor and it wasn't until she passed them Hermione realized it had been James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin. Hermione held still and looked over her shoulder. The four friends stood hurdled together, whispering. Her eyes rested on James Potter. He looked so much like Harry. People were right. He did look like his father, apart from his eyes. They were Lily's eyes. As James looked up and found her staring at him, she turned around and continued her way to see Minerva.

She knocked on the door and waited for the familiar voice to call her in. She stepped into the office and was greeted by the pleasant warmth radiating from the fire. Minerva sat in an arm chair by the window, a steaming hot cup of tea in her hand. She looked up when Hermione entered and friendly gestured to the free seat. Hermione sat down in the other arm chair and with a soft flick from her wand Minerva made another mug appear and she filled it with the hot tea that had been standing on the small table in between the chairs.

"I noticed you did not join your fellow students for the feast tonight," Minerva said without making eye contact. Her eyes were focused on the world outside her window. "You do not have to tell me where you were, Miss Granger. I noticed Miss Black was absent too..." Now she turned to look at Hermione's and green eyes met brown. "I suppose my warning before Christmas did not reach you."

Hermione sensed Minerva's disappointment. It angered her though she didn't quite understand why. "It did reach me, professor. I am however not a machine that does not have or shows emotions," she sneered and saw how she had caught Minerva off guard. It pleased her and she only just managed to suppress a grin. Clearly spending time with Slyhterins had somewhat changed her. For just a few seconds Minerva is unable to speak and she just stared at Hermione, peering over her spectacles with those surprisingly emerald green eyes.

"I called you here to remind you time is running out, Hermione," Minerva said with an unreadable expression on her face "Tomorrow night the deadline will be reached and you will have to return to your own time." The silence rested between them as both of them were lost in their own thoughts. "Foolishness is not a failure. I know you have fallen in love with Narcissa Black. And I believe she has fallen in love with you. But Hermione, you must be wise and pain can obscure one's vision if choices have to be made. I know you have thought about staying."

"It will change everything," Hermione whispered, her words tumbling out of her mind like an endless waterfall "If I stay she may not marry Lucius Malfoy after all. Draco will never be born and Voldemort may never gain his power. Harry's parents may never be killed and none of the darkness that has overwhelmed will ever happen. Professor, if I am to stay with Narcissa so much damage can be prevented!"

"Can it really?" Minerva asked softly "As much as most of what you say is true, there is no guarantee Voldemort would ever become powerful but if he does, the future needs you. Harry will still have to defeat him and he will need both you and Mr Weasley to complete that task. You do not belong here, Hermione. You belong in the future and you belong in Narcissa's memory."

"Who is to say she will remember?" Hermione violently brushed a stray tear from her cheek and looked at Minerva.

"Who is to say she will not?" Minerva carefully questioned and leant in. She reached out and touched Hermione's hand. Hermione looked up and swallowed the rest of her tears away. "Sometimes our own heart is our biggest enemy."

Hermione put down her mug and stood up. "I have certainly learned that to be true," she answered and her eyes wandered out of the window. "I know where my future lies, Professor, though my heart may not be in the same place." She slowly walked to the door and with the doorknob in her hand she turned around and looked at Minerva. "I will see you tomorrow night, whenever and wherever that may be."

Tomorrow came too soon. The night was over too quick and over the horizon the orange rays of sunlight announced the break of dawn. Hermione sat up in bed. She did not sleep all night. Most of the night she had spent looking at Narcissa as she slept. She had wondered whether she had been terribly naive about this world, whether she had finally allowed herself to be a fool, trapped in her own stupidity.

She could not focus during the day and ruined her Potions class, even burning her cauldron. Slughorn had called out in shock when the flames underneath it had turned dangerously purple and it was only then she realized she had forgotten to add the final two ingredients which had caused her potion to turn into a thick, glue like substance and burned the bottom of her cauldron. Thick black clouds circled up into the air and with some well used spells she cleared her mess and apologised to Slughorn.

Hermione could not bear meeting Narcissa's blue eyes. And she kept trying to capture her gaze, worried about what was happening. She could see the sadness and the frustration and Hermione kept her safely at distance. To hurt alone was better than for both to hurt together. At least now Narcissa did not feel the pain.

It wasn't until after their final lesson of the day that Narcissa managed to finally grab hold of Hermione's arm and dragged her away from the other students. Hermione had no choice but to meet her eyes this time and her heart shattered all over again.

"Rose, what's going on?" Narcissa whispered softly, her blue eyes captured Hermione's and she leant in. Hermione felt her breath against her skin, her slim fingers on her arm reminded her how those same fingers had made love to her the day before. "You have not spoken to me all day. You are distracted. You even ruined Potions. There is something you are not telling me."

"The reason why McGonnagal wanted to see me last night is that my parents have sent a letter," Hermione had been thinking of a story to tell Narcissa all night. She was tired. Tears were burning behind her eyes. But she couldn't cry. Not here. Not now. "They need me to return home as soon as possible. It is a family emergency. The letter does not say what happened; it just says I may not return for some time."

"You're leaving?" Narcissa whispered softly. She reached up her hand and her thumb touched Hermione's bottom lip. Hermione wanted to close her eyes but forced herself to keep them open. She couldn't give in. She shivered. "When?"

"Tonight," Hermione whispered and saw the tears well up in Narcissa's beautiful blue eyes. She wanted to kiss them away. She wanted to hold her and whisper to her everything would be all right. She wanted to promise her she would come back. But she couldn't lie to her. She had lied to her for the past two months. The only thing real between them was the love they both treasured. And the knowledge it was never to be. "I will be leaving before dinner"

"That's less than three hours from now," Narcissa gasped. She was panting, Hermione noticed. Tears fell from eyes, stuck to her eyelashes before sliding down her cheeks. "When were you going to tell me?" She pierced her eyes into Hermione's. "You weren't, were you? You were going to leave without telling me!"

"I didn't want to upset you," Hermione whispered and briefly leant in. She brushed her lips against Narcissa's and the sharpness of Narcissa's words disappeared. "I-I want to come back, Cissy. But I don't know when, or if ever, I will. We both know this can never be. You are to marry Lucius Malfoy. We can be nothing more than each other's memory. A treasure in our minds and hearts we can cherish forever."

She felt her own tears drip down her face and without any concern about who would see them she firmly pressed her lips onto Narcissa's. The corridor was empty, apart from the witch dressed in emerald green robes who just left the classroom the two young witches had been in minutes before. She watched for a few seconds before turning away and leaving them with their own sadness. Minerva knew that times from now on would be hard enough for either of them.

"I love you, Rose," Narcissa whispered in Hermione's ear and carefully pulled her into an embrace.

"I love you too, Narcissa," Hermione whispered and it was probably the most truthful thing she had spoken in all the time she had been here. "Don't come to say goodbye tonight, Cissy. Go to common room and stay there. I don't think I can bear seeing you when I leave. I cannot stand the thought of seeing you when I leave you."

Narcissa nodded bravely, her hand cupping Hermione's cheek. "You will never leave me," she whispered softly before carefully stepping away. Finally she took her hand back and swallowed. "If you ever come back, come and find me. I may have married Lucius, but I will be waiting."

"And I will," Hermione whispered. She felt terribly lonely as she watched Narcissa walk down the corridor. She wanted to run after her, hold her. Grab her hand and never let go. Narcissa turned around just before she disappeared around the corner. She was crying. Hermione's own tears burned her tender skin. "I always will."

Narcissa disappeared around the corner. It was the last time anyone saw her. That night, the Narcissa Black everybody had known, died. The warm smile that had one lingered around her lips disappeared into the darkness of that night and was never seen again. The stars that had sparkled in her eyes faded before they disappeared completely. Whatever had once captured her heart held it prisoner for every day to come. It never abandoned her though she never spoke of it. And to all those around her, she became the cold princess she would remain till far into the future. Narcissa would grow up to a woman of wealth and admiration, a woman who never smiled and whose eyes never sparkled. She became numb and cold. She had lost all her warmth and tender beauty the night she lost the only person she had ever loved.

Hermione met Minerva McGonnagal and Albus Dumbledore in the Great Hall that night. Her heart felt heavy in her chest. She felt physically sick and every cell in her body screamed not to go ahead. She was wearing the dress Minerva had given her for Christmas. She was unsure why she was wearing it but somehow it appeared to be the only true and solid connection she would ever have to this memory. The Time- Turner hung around her neck and rested against her chest. She looked up to meet Minerva's eyes.

"It is time, Hermione," Minerva said softly and Hermione nodded. She looked at Dumbledore. She had not seen much of her Headmaster in her time here but she had completed and succeeded in her mission and she wanted him to know. She wanted him to know she had managed and yet she wanted him to know she had suffered.

"I wish things were different," Hermione said as her fingers carefully picked up the Time-Turner and lifted it to eyelevel so Minerva could set it right for her journey home. Or what was going to be home once again. She was unsure what to call home at the moment. Her heart told her home was here, close to Narcissa. Her mind told her home was on the opposite side of the Time-Turner, where everybody would be waiting for her and her life would be so different. She closed her eyes as Minerva's fingers twirled the Time-Turner, whispering a barely audible incantation as she did so. When she let go, her green eyes captured Hermione's.

"We'll be waiting for you when you get back. You have done brilliantly, Hermione. You must never forget that," she said softly and took Hermione's hand briefly into her own. The gesture was kind and warm. Hermione swallowed back her final doubts and tears before she spun the Time-Turner and closed her eyes. Noises, smells and feelings overwhelmed her as around her times changed rapidly. A soft wind pulled her hair, her legs felt funny and her stomach twisted. Images flashed by and bright flashes of light still penetrated her eyes, shards of voices found their way into her ears.

Narcissa's face and her blue eyes were everywhere. They followed her all the way through time. It was her voice she kept hearing in the weak fragments and she could still smell the vague scent of her body. Slowly it began to fade further and further into the distance until nothing remained. Narcissa's voice became nothing but a whisper in the wind and eventually, after several minutes, there was nothing else but silence.

Hermione carefully opened her eyes. She was standing in the Great Hall, under the enchanted ceiling that reflected the outside sky riddled with stars. The House tables were still lined up in exactly the same way. The teachers table was still standing in exactly the same place. The statues had not changed. Nothing appeared to have changed apart from the two people standing a little bit further down the Hall. Minerva was dressed in black robes and wearing her familiar black witch's hat and Albus Dumbledore in pale blue robes and his beard much longer than the last time she had seen them. Both now hurried towards her and Minerva reached her first, catching her arm and supporting her before she lost her balance and nearly crashed to the floor.

And only then did Hermione realize she was crying.


	5. The Future Of Lies

_**Chapter 5**  
_

_What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened,__  
it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment.__  
And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.__  
(unknown)_

Hermione's world was still spinning by the time she arrived at the Burrow. One moment she had been standing in the Great Hall with Minerva and Albus Dumbledore, the next the whole world had appeared jerky and she felt she was spinning rapidly. She had no idea what the Portkey had been or how she had managed to get hold of it but she was greeted by the cold fresh air and the wind softly blowing through the cornfields. Only then did she realize she had not arrived here alone. She glanced beside her and found Minerva looking down at her. The older witch looked worried. Her green eyes inspected Hermione from behind her glasses before taking her by an arm and taking quick steps towards the Burrow.

Hermione felt like a ragdoll being dragged along. She had to focus to keep up with Minerva's steps. Slowly things returned to their normal shape and size. Minerva held still by the Burrow's front door and knocked firmly, four times. Hurried footsteps came from inside and the door was opened just far enough for whoever was inside to recognise the person standing outside. A male's voice asked a question; Minerva answered it though Hermione did not remember her words. The door was pulled open further and tender hands pushed her firmly inside. The comfortable warmth that came from inside fell over her and Hermione just wanted to sit down and rest her head.

"Hermione?" It was Mrs Weasley's voice, Hermione realized and she slowly lifted up her eyes to meet her brown eyes. Mrs Weasley looked worried and she inspected Hermione with the same look Minerva had done when she had arrived back at Hogwarts. Mrs Weasley then looked at Minerva, who was still standing closely beside Hermione, holding her arm and supporting her. "Minerva, I don't think she is in any state to talk to anyone tonight. She needs to sleep. How long has she been awake? When was the last time she ate anything?"

"I don't know," Minerva whispered and Hermione vaguely felt the two women carry her to the nearest sofa. Thankfully Hermione lay down in the cushions and her eyes almost immediately fell shut. She was so tired. Her body ached, her head had finally stopped spinning but felt terribly heavy. She felt nauseous and just prayed she wasn't going to be sick. "I don't think she'll make it up the stairs. Molly, if you inform the others of her return, I will stay with her."

Molly Weasley hurried away and Minerva knelt down beside the sofa. Tenderly she brushed some brown curls out of Hermione's face and tugged them safely behind her ear. "I'm sorry, Hermione. We have asked too much of you. The strain of travelling through time has proven itself to be heavy," she whispered now that they were alone and Hermione managed to partially open her eyes. Minerva's green eyes found Hermione's brown. "I know you are hurt. You must sleep. Rest now, Hermione. Tomorrow we will talk."

"Narcissa," Hermione breathed the name that had lingered on her lips all night and Minerva shivered at the mention of it. Hermione's eyes fell shut once again and Minerva tenderly brushed her cheek before rising to her full figure. She summoned a soft blanket and tenderly placed it over the brown haired witch. Hermione did not stir. She had drifted off into a dark, dreamless sleep. Minerva left her and met the people who were waiting for her in the dining room.

"How is she?" Ron anxiously asked. It was obvious his mother had forbid him to go into the living room. She was standing in the doorway, blocking his passage and he had no choice but to sit down in his chair. But now that Minerva walked in he ignored his mother's previous warning and rose back to his feet. "Professor, is she all right?"

"Hermione is exhausted. It takes a lot of strain to travel through the time the way she has done tonight," Minerva answered softly. Her eyes drifted across the room. Harry sat next to Ginny Weasley. Fred and George sat at either side of their father and Molly still barricaded the doorway. Ron stood beside his chair. An abandoned game of wizard's chess betrayed that only minutes ago the Burrow had been filled with harmless evening entertainment. "She will need to sleep a few hours and regain her energy. And..." she paused and looked at Ron. "Once she wakes it is most important she speaks to the Order immediately."

Ron wanted to object. Say something about how Hermione had done enough and how she had put herself in danger for the Order. But he knew better. He knew that every day people risked their lives. Hermione was no different. And from the way everybody looked at him he could tell people did not even wish for him to speak. So he sat back down and rested his head in the palm of his hand. He shared a look with Harry, who could do nothing more but pull up his shoulders. He knew Ron had been worried about Hermione. Not a day passed by that he didn't ask whether she would be all right. It became a predictable routine to their day and Harry had learned to ignore it, knowing that no answer he would give Ron would actually be the answer to his question.

"Minerva, will you stay tonight?" Mrs Weasley asked softly and Minerva turned to meet her eyes .Mrs Weasley looked worried. Her face was pale, her cheeks not as flushed as normal. Seconds earlier she had shared an anxious look with her husband but now her brown eyes rested on the Transfiguration teacher "Hermione needs you when she wakes up. Like you said, she will need to speak to the Order as soon as possible to make sure the information reaches the right people straight away."

Minerva nodded weakly, her eyes drifting over Mrs Weasley's shoulders to the living room. Hermione was still soundly asleep. She walked to the door and Mrs Weasley stepped aside to let her past. Minerva walking into the living room resulted in a dark look filled with contempt from Ron to be thrown in her direction. Her words were softly but firm. A subtle smile perched on her lips. "I will stay."

~()~

Hermione woke with a start and gasped for air. Precious oxygen found its way into her lungs as she pushed herself upright. Her eyes drifted across the room as her brain frantically tried to work out where she was. This was not the Slytherin common room. The sounds did not belong to Hogwarts. She froze when she discovered the figure of a woman sitting in the nearest armchair. She too now sat up and emerald green eyes met Hermione's confused brown.

"Hello Hermione," Minerva whispered softly.

Things started to fall back into place as Minerva's voice reached her. She remembered leaving Narcissa; the spinning of the Time-Turner and the sickening travelling through time. She remembered landing in the fields outside the Burrow. Hermione ran a hand through her tangled brown hair and rubbed her eyes, tears stinging somewhere in the unknown depths. "What happened?" Her voice was but a soft whisper, filled with confusion. But then she looked up as the realization sunk in. "I remember..."

"You must tell me all you know, Hermione. We cannot risk losing any more time," said Minerva friendly though persistently as she stood up from her chair and sat down at the edge of the sofa. She did not break the connection between her and Hermione. All of a sudden something about Minerva's posture reminded Hermione of Dumbledore. Persistent but kind yet there was no way she could not tell her all she knew. "You must tell me all you know about You-Know-Who, his Death Eaters and everything else you have learned. Time cannot be wasted, Hermione."

Hermione slowly sat up. She started at the beginning and for nearly half an hour she spoke. She told Minerva what she had learned and shared the names of witches and wizards that had become Death Eaters, especially the ones the Order did not know about. She told her about Bellatrix, Rudolphus and Rabastan and what they had been like. About Lucius, who bragged about knowing the Dark Lord but at the same whimpered like coward whenever his name was mentioned and bout Snape who had not even shown the slightest acknowledgment of the Dark Lord. She informed Minerva about how people were instructed and introduced to being a Death Eater and how many, though suspected by the Order, never actually became one. Like Narcissa.

_Narcissa._

She had reached the subject she wished she did not have to talk about. Her heart fell to the floor and it was as if thousands of feet walked over it, breaking it in such tiny pieces she knew she would never be able to put them back together again. Her skin remembered the tenderness of her touch. Her lips still tasted the sweetness of her kiss. Her tears still felt the pain of her memory.

"You have done brilliantly, Hermione," Minerva said. She was not blind to the pain she saw in Hermione's eyes though the younger witch did not look up to meet her gaze. "You have given is information that is so very valuable for the Order. Some of this can decide who wins this war. It may hold the answer as to who will in the end remain standing." She carefully reached out a hand to touch Hermione's arm but she pulled away. Minerva's hand hung in mid-air for a few seconds. "I know you are hurt, Hermione. But you have done the right thing."

Hermione looked up. Her coffee coloured eyes had filled with painful tears and they pierced into Minerva's. "Did I?" she questioned as she violently brushed a stray tear from her cheek. "Because somehow I feel like I have betrayed everything."

Minerva didn't know what to answer. Somehow the words died before they were even spoken. She looked at Hermione. She looked so lost and distraught. She fought a harsh battle not to cry. "There isn't a single thing about either life or love that isn't hard. And neither is easy to understand. Sometimes, things cannot be explained and though one would wish they could, it simply cannot"

Hermione frowned at the rather strange answer though she knew somewhere in those words lay the answer she so very much craved. But her brain was in no state to understand and she desperately ran her hands through her hair. Her heart screamed at her. It did not want to be here. It longed for the cold, dark dungeons of Hogwarts that held Slytherin's common room. It yearned for the past and was tormented by the present and the future. It cried for the blonde haired, blue eyed ghost from the past that lingered in her memory.

"Your friends are dying to see you," said Minerva kindly and Hermione's eyes drifted to the dining room but she found it abandoned. The house was covered in the silence. The sun had not yet risen over the fields. Dawn had not broken but morning was not far away. It would not be long before the first person in this house would wake. "They have all been worried about you and are eager to see you are allright but perhaps I should suggest you get yourself freshened up before seeing them."

Only then did Hermione realize she was wearing her dark red velvet dress and her fingers cherished the heavy material that clung to her body. She carefully trailed the buttons of her corset, the laces that tied it together and then the Time-Turner that still rested on her chest. No one had removed it. She found Minerva staring at her fingers, following the path they trailed and Hermione knew her teacher understood what she was thinking. She carefully took the gold necklace and gave it back. Minerva carefully touched it and Hermione watched her only escape to her memories disappear into the dark pocket of her robe. She swallowed and carefully rose to her feet. Minerva watched her as Hermione walked through the living room and climbed the stairs to the Weasley bathroom. Once she had disappeared to the second floor, Minerva took the Time-Turner from her pocket and cherished it in her hand. Clutching it tightly between her fingers she approached the fireplace and took a hand full of Floo Powder. She stepped into the now bright green flames and stated her destination loud and clear. "Hogwarts". And with the roaring sound of raising flames she disappeared, taking the only connection between Hermione and her painful yet beautiful memories away.

"Hermione!"

Ron and Harry burst into the bedroom in which she had retreated herself. Hermione barely had a chance to look up or turn around a Harry's arms had pulled her into an embrace and Ron was pounding her on her back. The air was squeezed out of her lungs and she had to beg Harry to let go. She took a deep breath in before her eyes found her two best friends standing in front of her. They were both still wearing their pyjamas, she realized. Harry's hair looked like it had been combed but Ron obviously had not bothered. His hair looked more like a ginger birds nest.

"Nice to see you too," Hermione grinned sheepishly, a little smile played around her lips. She climbed onto the bed in the far corner. Ron followed whereas Harry sat down on the floor.

"Well, how was it?" Ron asked.

"How was what?" Hermione didn't quite understand what he wanted.

"Going back in time," Ron answered enthusiastically and Hermione felt how her heart sunk in her chest. She knew she would not have been able to avoid talking about her journey but she didn't really want to do it right now. "I bet it was completely hysterical!"

"Yes, hysterical," Hermione whispered to herself as she slipped off the bed and walked to the window, wrapping her arms around herself as she did so. She stared outside. The world out there was not the world she had seen less than twenty four hours ago. Somehow this world felt strange. Like a place where she did not belong. She was unsure which part of it had been all a lie.

"Hermione, what happened?" Harry had a better sense for tact than Ron did, Hermione had to give him that. She turned slightly and met his green eyes across the distance of the bedroom. For a second she saw his father, standing in a corridor somewhere in the castle, whispering with his friends. And then she remembered Lily, sitting at the Gryffindor Table; those same green eyes. She swallowed back her tears.

"It was most definitely not hysterical, Ronald," Hermione said and her eyes darkened as she found him sitting on the bed. He had not moved. "McGonnagal and Dumbledore placed me in Slytherin. I was to befriend them, to learn about how they became Death Eaters and who joined and who did not."

"Slytherin?" Ron spewed and Hermione clenched her fists. She had forgotten the hatred Ron and Harry felt towards them. Having now been part of it herself she knew the hatred felt was mutual. But the hatred was most of all a form of envy neither house would ever dare to admit. "You were placed into Slytherin?"

"Don't say it as if I would not be capable, Ronald," Hermione sneered violently, turning her back towards him completely now "For two months they all believed I was a pure blood witch. No one ever suspected I was anything else but that." She swallowed. "I met some of the most intriguing people the Wizarding world has ever known; dangerous and violent, yes, but intriguing." She paused as she remembered her meeting with Bellatrix, Rudolphus and Rabastan. "I spent Christmas at the Black residence. I dare say Bellatrix was by that time not the murdering lunatic we know her to be today."

Harry had leapt to his feet. Hermione knew why. Bellatrix had killed Sirius, the only family he had left. Anger flickered in his eyes. "Bellatrix? You met Bellatrix Lestrange?"

Hermione nodded. "Yes. I spent almost two weeks with her, her husband and her brother-in-law. Those Lestrange brothers are the ones to watch out for. If you ask me, Bellatrix learnt most of her sadistic tricks from them. We stayed at her parent's house for Christmas." She paused, unsure whether to continue. "I shared a room with her sister."

Ron needed a little bit longer than Harry to realize who Bellatrix's sister was. Ron's mouth dropped in shock and he stared at Hermione. She had not turned around. She was still staring out of the window, her eyes focused on nothing in particular. Her heart ached at the mentioning of Narcissa. Harry walked towards her, taking her arm and turning her to face him.

"Narcissa Malfoy?" he called out and she could do nothing else but nod. She had suspected her friends would react this way. Both looked at her as if she was a new creature they had yet to understand. Ron looked simply shocked though Harry had narrowed his eyes and watched her closely. "You befriended Narcissa Malfoy?"

"Black," Hermione corrected him automatically. It was something she had done to herself many times, whenever she thought about Narcissa. She had to keep reminding herself. "Narcissa Black, Harry. She was not yet married to Lucius Malfoy though she was going to. And yes, I befriended her on Dumbledore's orders. You yourself know what he can be like when he gives assignments, Harry. Do not look at me as if I am a traitor."

She felt like a liar though she was unsure to whom or what. She fought back her tears, her eyes still fixed upon the world outside her window. Somewhere out there lingered the everlasting memory. Narcissa Black today was Narcissa Malfoy. And today, Hermione had become everything Narcissa hated. She was a filthy little Mudblood, unworthy of her magic and considered less than the dirt underneath her shoe. And yet this Mudblood still loved her. Though she knew Narcissa only loved her in her memories, the knowledge of her lingering in Narcissa's head somewhere was enough to sooth the aching of her heart.

Harry was about to say something back to her but his words were interrupted by Mrs Weasley calling them down for breakfast. Hermione felt relieved her memories were disrupted, albeit maybe briefly and happily left the bedroom to make her way down the stairs, without even waiting for Ron or Harry to follow. She was not ready to face their questions. She was not ready to give answers. All she wanted was some peace and quiet and she knew that as long as they stayed at the Burrow she wasn't going to get it. So when she joined the Weasley's at the breakfast table she was quite happy to hear that two days from now, they would all return to Hogwarts. Hogwarts, no matter in what time, seemed the only thing closest to her heart. It held her memories to Narcissa. And with that thought Hermione's eyes once again drifted to the window. Inside her chest her heart did not ache for the first time. It was glowing once again, like it had done before.


	6. For The Memory Of Pale Blue Eyes

**A/N**: I am using HBP as a timeline but am not sticking to the actual events in this book or movie. Also, in this story all the events of DH will never happen. Hope you are all still enjoying this part of my imagination. I am finding it even more fun to write now that Narcissa and Hermione are both in their own time, with Narcissa married to Lucius and Hermione trapped in her own life. Thanks for the kind reviews so far. I know this is an unusual pairing but it works.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

"_I've had but could not keep"_

Before returning to Hogwarts there was the inevitable trip to Diagon Alley to buy their new school supplies. Hermione had been looking forward to it though the outside world had changed even more in the time she was away. The disappearance and other dark, mysterious events had riddled the front pages of the Daily Prophet for days on end and they had even encountered familiar names. The news of Olivander having disappeared had sent a cold shiver down her spine. Though she had never been particularly fond of the wand maker –somehow he creeped her out- the thought of him having fallen into the hands of Voldemort was possibly even scarier.

Hermione had woken up early that day and got dressed in complete silence before peering out of the window. She sadly smiled. It was an overcast, cloudy day. Grey seemed to be the normal colour these days. After breakfast a special Ministry car had picked the group of people up from the Burrow and drove them to the Leaky Cauldron where more security awaited them. To their horror the pub was abandoned. It was another clear sign of the darkness closing in on them. But much to their surprise their security turned out to be Hagrid and it lifted some of the depressive mood Hermione had felt earlier.

The playful warm atmosphere that had once lingered in Diagon Alley had long disappeared. Shops were boarded up or simply abandoned. People moved in small groups and whispered softly to each other. Mothers and fathers hurdled their kids together, urging them not to stand still too long anywhere. No one really looked at each other while everybody was watching every else. No one was shopping alone though Hermione doubted whether being together really increased their safety. If the Death Eaters did attack, no one would stand a chance.

Mr and Mrs Weasley went to Flourish and Blotts with Ginny. Hermione, Ron and Harry went the other way. Their first stop was Madam Malkin's to buy some new robes. Hagrid suggested he'd wait outside, as there was not an awful lot of room inside the shop. So Hermione walked into the shop, closely followed by Harry and Ron. Ron whispered something about the manic, anxious behaviour displayed by his mother but Hermione could not blame her. It was not until after she returned from her mission she had come to realize and understand the full scale terror Voldemort was causing. No one was spared, no one was safe and no one knew who was going to be next.

The shop appeared to be empty but suddenly the voice of a boy came from the darkness. Hermione recognised it straight away as Draco Malfoy and she shivered. She saw Ron and Harry had recognised it too. As they walked further into the shop they found Draco Malfoy wearing dark emerald green robes held together with countless pins. He stood in front of a mirror, examining and clearly enjoying his own reflection. But then, suddenly, he spotted the image of the three people who had just entered the shop in the mirror and his blue eyes narrowed.

"If you wonder what the smell is, Mother, a Mudblood just walked in," he spat viciously.

It was not the insult that cut into her soul. It wasn't the insult at all. It was the other word that triggered her response. _Mother._ Hermione froze. Her breath died in the back of her throat. Whatever words she had been about to say died on the tip of her tongue. She could not speak. She tried to swallow but the lump in her throat was simply too heavy for it to shift. She didn't want to look but her eyes desperately wandered around the shop.

Harry and Ron had raised their wands as soon as Malfoy spoke. The insult lingered in the air and Malfoy defiantly stared at them. Harry and Ron stared back with possibly even more hatred in their eyes. Hermione carefully stepped forward. Her voice was a whisper. "It's not worth it, Harry. Please."

Suddenly Narcissa strolled from behind a rack of robes, straight into Hermione's line of sight. Hermione didn't know how she felt but she just stared at her. Narcissa had changed so much but her hair was still as blonde as she remembered and was held neatly together in a loose bun in the back of her neck. Her eyes were still as blue and instantly reminded Hermione of the sky on a beautiful summer's day. But they had changed; the sparkles were gone. The stars that once shimmered had died. Her face was a mask of arrogance and contempt. Her lips slightly curled into what could only be described as a contemptuous smile.

"Put those away," she ordered coldly, demanding that Harry and Ron put away their wands. The sound of her voice cut through Hermione's heart like a knife. Nothing about Narcissa resembled the woman she loved so much and yet everything was still the same. She still had he same porcelain white skin and her eyes were still as blue as the deepest ocean. Her lips were still dark pink. Nothing about her jawline or her cheekbones or anything else had changed. She had aged gracefully and beautifully. She was in her late thirties now. If it wasn't for the arrogance she wouldn't have looked a day over twenty five. She was tall and slim. Underneath her black cloak Hermione saw the white velvet dress she wore, clinging to the perfect curves of her body. A body her own hands had once treasured and cherished.

Only briefly did Narcissa's eyes drift to Hermione and Hermione could see how she pulled up her nose. She stood frozen to the floor. Her eyes were stinging, tears burned but she knew she could not cry. Everyone would think Draco had gotten through her. And he had not. His mother had.

Harry did not show a sign of fear towards Narcissa and stepped closer to her, breaching the safe distance that had separated them so far. His green eyes pierced into her blue. He taunted her, asking her whether she was going to send Death Eaters after him if he did not lower his wand. Narcissa looked down upon Harry. Harry was taller than she was though still she managed to look down on him. Only now did Hermione realize how much Narcissa resembled Bellatrix now. It was the hatred that flickered in her eyes, the way she cocked her head as she observed Harry. Harry taunted her with her husband being in prison and how she would soon join him.

Narcissa leant in to Harry, almost as if she was going to kiss him. Her voice was filled with venom as she spoke. "I am sure you will join Sirius much sooner than I will be reunited with my Lucius," she whispered softly yet harshly. She reminded Harry painfully of the loss of his godfather and Hermione knew Narcissa had struck him where it hurt the most. Harry's hand went up, raising his wand. Hermione had not been wrong. Harry knew no fear.

Hermione stepped forward. Her fingers closed around Harry's arm, attempting to push it down by his side. "Harry, no!" she begged him, though not for the reasons he thought she did. She glanced at Narcissa through her eyelashes. She looked back at her though their eyes did not meet. She couldn't let him. Not her. Not Narcissa. No.

Nothing about Hermione's cool posture and persistent urging towards Harry betrayed the nervousness she felt inside. She stood firmly yet her legs felt weak. Her eyes rested on Narcissa but she was careful not to stare. No one was to know she watched her. No one was to know she had seen her, really seen her.

As Draco fought his way out of the robes that were too long Narcissa threw a contemptuous glance at Hermione who had finally persuaded Harry to lower his wand. But something else lingered in those blue eyes. Hermione saw it when their gazes locked. She finally dared to look up. Brown eyes met blue. Blue found brown. She didn't know what it was. She couldn't see. But she knew it was not only the hatred filled stare. Something else hid in those blue eyes. Somewhere in the depths of those oceans lingered the sadness, the desperation and the never ending feeling of hope.

The look in her blue eyes hardened. She had cut into Hermione's soul. Blue eyes now tried to pierce through her. Hermione didn't want to let her. She didn't want Narcissa to hurt her any more than she already had by simply standing here before her. Hermione never believed she could miss anyone as much as she missed Narcissa. She stood right in front of her but she was further away than ever before.

_This will always be our little secret._

The voice crept into Hermione's head like an unexpected ghost; a soft and endlessly lingering whisper falling from soft lips pressed against her ear.

But when Narcissa spoke none of that showed in her words. None of the lingering emotions Hermione had seen reflected in her eyes. Nothing reminded her of the whisper she had just heard haunting her. "Now that I know the scum that shops here."

The rest of her sentence passed her by. Narcissa's words had hit her harshly, as if she had slapped her in the face. Hermione stood shivering as she was hit by the intense hatred Narcissa's voice had carried. Narcissa and Draco marched out of the shop, leaving Harry and Ron fuming with anger. Hermione however remained silent. She watched the image of Narcissa Malfoy walk away through the shop window. Standing there made her realize she could never forget. And she had never felt emptier in her life.

The emptiness was later replaced by anger. Anger about how Narcissa had become what she was. Hermione remembered how she had been, once upon a time. In her memory. The memory filled her with sadness and an utter feeling of devastation. She finished her shopping trip at Diagon Alley and travelled back to the Burrow. She had followed Draco after he had somehow managed to ditch his mother. Harry had become anxious and obsessional over what the boy was up to so eventually she too had walked into the shop Malfoy had been mooching in but without result. So now she sat in the backseat of the car, her face turned to the window. She didn't see the world flash by. All she saw was the face of Narcissa Malfoy. Those blue eyes followed her everywhere.

Hermione made up some excuse about having a headache when they returned to the Burrow and retired to bed, skipping the evening meal. She sat on the bed and gazed out of the window. She knew somewhere Narcissa had to remember her but where and how she would never know. She tried to ignore the roaring feeling of hope. Harry had reminded her Lucius was in jail. She imagined him rotting in his cell in Azkaban. It was an image that triggered her to smile. It was as if it had sparked a wildfire inside her, like fire that was spreading rapidly, captivating her quickly.

A tear trickled down her cheek. It froze her skin and Hermione raised her hand to brush it away. How would Narcissa ever know that this little Mudblood was the same girl she had once loved so deeply?

Hermione rested her head in her hands. She knew she could not even begin to indulge herself into the world of her darkest, secret fantasies. Downstairs she could hear the laughter of her friends. Though she was surrounded by those who loved her, and those she cared for most, she felt lonely. None of them would ever understand how she felt. They were never to know.

~()~

They travelled back to Hogwarts the next day. Hermione welcomed the presence of Luna and Neville when she met them at the platform but through the crowds her eyes desperately looked for blonde hair. Her heart leapt up when she found her standing near the wall. She had just watched Draco board the train. He had not looked back to wave goodbye and something about her posture reminded Hermione of loneliness. She glanced at Harry and Ron who had engaged in an intense chat with Ginny, Neville and Luna about something Neville's grandmother had said.

She would give anything... just anything...

"Sorry guys, I just need... I forgot something," Hermione stuttered though she doubted whether any of her friends really noticed her excuse. They were about to board the train. She left her trunk with theirs and just clutched her bag tight to her chest. She started way through the gathering of anxiously waving and screaming parents, avoided being seen by the Aurors or Mrs Weasley, and finally reached the back of the platform. Her eyes scanned the crowd and she finally discovered the blonde hair that belonged to Narcissa Malfoy.

She didn't know what she was going to do, let alone know what she was going to say, if anything at all. It was just that she wanted to be close. She needed to be closer. She remembered one of the nights when they lay together on her bed in the Slytherin dormitory, staring at the ceiling. Narcissa had magically made a star filled sky appear over their heads and they lay together, watching those sparkling diamonds in the darkness. The memory now felt like it had only been a dream.

Suddenly Narcissa turned around and took a few steps in Hermione's direction without realizing it. But then she held still. Her eyes had spotted her standing not too far away. Hermione, who had seen her turn, was now anxiously looking for something invisible in her bag. She sensed Narcissa approaching her and she lifted up her head, carrying herself with strength and pride as she did so.

"You were wise to tell Mr Potter to lower his wand, Miss Granger," Narcissa spoke. Her face betrayed nothing. Her blue eyes were as empty before. There was nothing that showed she remembered anything. And Hermione wondered if maybe Narcissa didn't remember anything at all. For the first time she wondered whether she even resembled the girl Narcissa had loved. She had no idea whether travelling back in time had changed her physical appearance at all. She had not taken any potions but no doubt Dumbledore's magic needed no potions. "Draco tells me you are a talented witch. It is a shame to see such a talent wasted."

"It is a shame to see many beautiful things wasted," answered Hermione. Something changed in Narcissa's face. "If your son has informed you correctly then you will know much more about me than I can even begin to guess. No doubt he has smeared my name with the dirt it deserves in your eyes. I know where you think I belong." She hesitated. Something had come up in her head. Something she remembered somebody saying once to Narcissa. She took a deep breath. "People have called me a fool but I believe them to be wrong, Mrs Malfoy. It appears foolishness was reserved for you."

With those words Hermione turned and ran across the platform, disappearing in the crowd before boarding the Hogwarts Express. She turned and glanced out of a window. She wondered how she would ever know where she belonged. But as her brown eyes searched the platform she found Narcissa looking at the train as it blew its final whistle. And the ice cold emptiness in her blue eyes had faded. She stared at the train rolling out of Kings Cross station with a searching look in her eyes, looking for something Hermione didn't know.

Hermione sighed and made her way through the train, checking the compartments as she did so, to find Harry and Ron. She found them almost in the back of the train. They sat with Luna and Neville and she joined them, falling into her seat with a tender smile perched on her lips. Harry had just changed the conversation to their O.W.L results and after that the conversation took a more amusing turn. Hermione sat and listened as Luna told them about what she had been up to during the summer.

Outside the window the weather was still grey and slightly depressing, string of mist pressed against the glass. The English countryside was their guide and map in telling how far they were from Hogwarts. Totally unannounced the sky burst open and heavy raindrops rattled down on the roof of the train and streamed violently down the now darkened glass. Not the kind of weather anyone associated with summer but it had been like this all the time.

Hermione's eyes drifted to the window. She felt strange. She had only just realized that when she went back in time and met Narcissa it had been the beginning of term. They said goodbye just after Christmas. Christmas was still two months away. As she rested her chin her hand she began to understand how many people thought time travelling to be not normal. It wasn't. It was abnormal. And it had put her in this position which was probably even more abnormal than anything else.

Returning to Hogwarts for the start of their sixth year was strange. It had only felt like yesterday she walked through these corridors wearing different robes and heading down to the dungeon instead of climbing the stairs to the seventh floor. As she followed her fellow classmates up the Grand Staircase, her eyes drifted down and caught a glimpse of several Slytherins heading for the dungeon. Her fellow classmates were all still whispering in shock about Snape being the new DADA teacher and this strange guy Slughorn being new to Potions. But he was not new to Hermione at all. And she wondered if he knew...

Hermione shook her head and brushed a string of hair behind her ear. She was tired. Travelling down to Hogwarts always made her feel tired. As she followed Harry and Ron into the common room she was pleasantly surprised to find Minerva waiting for them.

"Good evening Potter, Weasley," she greeted Ron and Harry who appeared somewhat shocked to find her standing in the common room. Noting about her appearance betrayed that she had seen them only a few days before at the Burrow but they were surrounded by other students. Her green eyes then found Hermione. "I was hoping I could perhaps steal a few moments of your time, Miss Granger?"

Hermione nodded. She suddenly had so many questions. Questions she knew she could not ask while Harry and Ron were around. So she followed Minerva back out through the portrait hole and in silence they walked down the seventh floor corridor until Minerva held still by a window. She turned to face Hermione. "You have surprised me, Hermione. I had expected you to have so many more questions you never asked."

"I was not aware I had questions until now, Professor," Hermione answered and it was not a lie. "I had no idea how this journey would affect me or my life or everybody for that matter but..." She paused and tried to find the words to phrase her question. "I ran into Narcissa Malfoy in Diagon Alley. She never recognised me. And I wondered why. As far as I know, I look the same like I did then. Why did she not recognise me?"

"You do not quite look the same, Hermione," said Minerva softly and gestured Hermione had to follow her. And she did. She followed her mentor through the castle and realized they were making their way to the library. They walked into the dim lit room and Minerva walked to a bookcase in the far right corner, almost completely hidden in the shadow. She frowned as she watched how Minerva took a book from a shelf. She had wandered through this library so many times and had spent countless nights here, reading book after book and feeding her hunger for knowledge and understanding. Yet she had never seen that book. And Minerva had always known it was there.

"This is why she did not recognise you," Minerva showed a page in the book to her. Hermione's hands were shaking as she took it. Her eyes lowered and found the picture Minerva had shown her. It was a picture of several seventh year Slyhterins. Narcissa was standing in the first row but to her left stood a brown haired, brown eyed girl. Underneath the girl a name was printed. Rose Cabot.

"This is the Rose Cabot she saw every time she looked at you," Minerva said and gestured at the book. Hermione didn't know whether to smile or cry. She felt cold inside as Minerva's words sunk in. "If you look closely you see she bears a close resemblance to you however; the same curly brown hair, the same brown eyes, the same nose, and the same figure. She could have been your sister."

"But it is not me. It never was me, it never really has been," Hermione whispered, her eyes falling to the floor and she closed the book. Her brown eyes had filled with tears and as they climbed back up till they met Minerva's it was clear the cruel reality had hit her. Her anger was pure and dangerous. Her voice trembled underneath her tears. "And you knew! You knew that she would not recognise me once I returned. You knew she never really saw me." Tears were freely rolling down her face. "You knew she would never."

"Hermione," Minerva tried to hush her but she wasn't going to listen. There was nothing that could be done to comfort a young woman who had her heart broken all over again right before her own eyes. Minerva was unsure why she even tried. As she reached out a hand to touch Hermione's arm Hermione violently slapped it away. She didn't even realize she had just hit her Professor. Her brown eyes flickered dangerously.

"Leave me alone! I can't believe you lied to me! You gave me hope, you created the illusion!" Hermione cried. She could barely see the shapes of the room through the blur of her tears. She threw the book onto the nearest desk and spun around. "This is all your fault! I never should have listened to you in the first place!" She ran to the door and left the library. Behind her Minerva was desperately calling her back but she did not listen. Minerva heart pained as she was left with nothing but the lingering sound of Hermione's sobs. With a sad sigh she picked up the book and wanted to put it back where she had found it. With her hand in mid-air she changed her mind and left the library, the book secure and safely in her hand.

~()~

Hermione pulled her legs onto the sofa, wrapping her arms tightly and safely around her knees. She had only returned to the common room fifteen minutes ago to find it deserted. Everybody had retired to bed. It was no surprise. It was after midnight. Only the flames in the fireplace were flickering and they reminded her of the many nights she shared with Narcissa, sitting in the big leather armchairs as behind them the fire danced in the fireplace.

She welcomed the emptiness of the room. It was the same emptiness she felt inside. She felt like she had lost something. Something precious. It felt as if something had brutally been taken away from her. And it didn't just sting. It didn't just hurt. It had broken her heart all over again. And as tears fell from her eyes Hermione wondered how many more times her heart could possibly be broken. Narcissa haunted her mind like a ghost that could not be erased. She kept hearing her cold, distant voice whispering words she held so dear. _It will always be our secret... _

Narcissa Malfoy was everything she was supposed to hate. She was a noble pure blood, married to one of Voldemort's loyal followers; a woman much older than herself and Hermione was everything Narcissa had been taught to hate. The mere mention of Hermione's name would send a shiver of disgust down her spine.

Hermione stood up. She had to go to bed. She needed to sleep. Not that she could see the use of entering a world that held dreams filled with memories and was as dark as the one she was in now. She climbed the staircases that lead to the girl's dormitory. She stripped from her clothes and climbed into bed. The girls with whom she shared her room were asleep. She listened to their steady breathing. Someone stirred under their duvet.

She remembered sitting in bed one of those nights, watching Narcissa sleep. It was the past now. Was the past really meant for letting go? She had to move on. Hermione laid herself down, her head resting on her pillow. Her bed felt uncomfortable, for the first time. Tears fell from her eyes, burning her skit, silent but hurting all the more. Since she had left Minerva in the library and had wandered through the corridors past curfew, the only thought that ran through her head had been changing her life, in whatever way. But it all came back to Narcissa every time. Tonight, the changing of her life was the only thing that held her mind captivated. Narcissa had changed everything.

After a while the tears eventually slowed and sleep dragged her into a darkened world that knew no dreams.

September quickly faded into October and in between Harry's disturbing obsessions over Draco Malfoy and a pile of homework Hermione struggled to find even the tiniest moment of the comforting loneliness she so desperately craved. She started staying up late and waiting for everybody else to have gone to bed, sneaking out of the common room and wandering the empty corridors at night. Looking for solitude that matched the loneliness she felt inside.  
Hermione had turned seventeen two weeks ago. Seventeen was a magical age in the Wizarding world. Legally she was now off age and many things had become available to her though nothing had really changed.

A cold autumn wind pulled her hair and Hermione zipped up her jacket a little further, burying her face in her white scarf and pushed her hands deeper into her pockets. She had bound her hair together in a messy ponytail and her eyes anxiously scanned the crowd of people leaving and arriving at the pub. The Three Broomsticks had seemed like the best option but now she was not even sure whether the person she was waiting for would even turn up to meet her.

"Wotcher Hermione," said a familiar voice behind her and Hermione turned around. A smile perched on her lips when she found Tonks standing behind her. Her hair had a dull shade of brown though her eyes sparkled brighter than Hermione had seen them in quite a while. "Hope you haven't been waiting too long. There was a bit of a hold up at the Ministry. I was surprised to receive your owl, you know."

Hermione swallowed as she held the door to the pub open and followed Tonks in. She had sent an owl to Tonks three days ago, as an ultimate act of desperation. It was the evening Minerva had announced their first trip to Hogsmeade for this year. She needed to talk to someone though she was not expecting understanding. But most all, she needed help and information. She needed Tonks to teach her something she knew others would be prepared to do. Not yet, at least.

"You seem troubled," Tonks observed after Madam Rosmerta had provided them with two Butterbeers. They sat at a table near the fireplace and the warmth radiating from the flames made Hermione feel more comfortable than she had done standing outside in the fresh autumn wind. Hermione's fingers cupped her glass before lifting it up to her lips and carefully sipping from it. She had forgotten Tonks had an exceptional eye for seeing people's emotions. Maybe it had been one of the reasons why she had turned to her. "Hermione, is there something you want to tell me?"

Hearing Tonks speak reminded Hermione why she had begged her to meet her here today and she pulled away her gaze from the flames. "I need you to teach me how to Disapparate," Hermione said directly and Tonks blinked a few times.

"Surely Hogwarts curriculum involves teaching students how to Disapparate as soon as they have turned seventeen. And, if I am not mistaken, your birthday was two weeks ago so it shouldn't be long now," Tonks said though she showed no sign of surprise or shock. She narrowed her grey eyes as she searched Hermione's face. "But this has nothing to do with your classes. This is something personal, isn't it? Am I wrong to assume you will not tell me why you need me to teach you?"

"I can't wait for the Ministry to turn up and teach me. There is no time," Hermione stared at the table. She had her reasons. Her heart knew why she needed this. No one else did. And she would not tell them. Not now and maybe not ever. "It is most important I learn now. I-I can't tell you why, not just yet, but maybe in the future." She carefully looked up, her eyes finding Tonks' on the other side of the table. "That is, if you will teach me."

"Disapparating is extremely dangerous and not without risk, especially if one is not concentrated enough," Tonks clarified. She too had picked up her glass and sipped from her drink. "Hermione, you would be the last person I expect to end up in trouble. Harry and Ron, yes, but not you. I trust you to know what you're doing. Therefore I will teach you. But you must promise me you will never tell anyone. No one must know I taught you. We can both end up in trouble if the Ministry learns about this." She swallowed. "There is however one condition." Hermione looked already knew what it was. "That once you can Disapparate, you tell me why you wanted me to teach you."

Hermione's eyes met Tonks' gaze. She knew the other witch was trying to see through her. She shielded herself though the pain was clearly visible in her eyes. Silence lingered between them for a few moments. "I promise I will tell you."

"Love is a dangerous and deadly thing," Tonks said softly "It can be nothing else but love if you wish to undertake such a dangerous attempt, Hermione. I am not stupid. I can see it in your eyes. Your face bears the pain of someone whose heart has been broken."

Hermione pulled a face and looked down at her now half empty glass of Butterbeer. Somehow she wished she had asked for something stronger, like Firewhisky. "It was not exactly broken. It was crushed."

"Oh Hermione," Tonks said sadly but then her face lit up "I will break Ronald's limbs when he gets home for Christmas!"

"Ronald?" Hermione questioned and then she realized Tonks thought it was Ron she loved, Ron who had broken her heart and somehow all of this had something to do with him. "No. It's not Ron. Or Harry," she quickly added when Tonks' raised an eyebrow. "It is someone else. I can't tell you. Not now. But I promise I will." She folded her hands and leant in. "When do we start?"

Tonks glanced at the big clock on the wall. "We can start now, if you'd like. If you are as smart as everyone says you are it should not take you too long before you get the hang of it." Tonks stood up from her seat and Hermione followed. They left the pub and made their way through groups of students, witches and wizards before reaching the loneliness and abandoned grounds of the Shrieking Shack and there, Hermione's lessons began. It was painful and it was hard. But she knew she was doing it for all the right reasons.


	7. The Rejoining Memories

**Chapter 7**

Learning how to Apparate or Disapparate was not easy, Hermione found. The everlasting tormenting thoughts in her head, the whispers of Narcissa's voice, didn't help either. She met Tonks several times in secret in the next two weeks. Almost every night after the evening meal she would sneak out of the castle through the secret passage that lead straight to the Shrieking Shack. Tonks would be waiting for her. Night after night they practised. The three steps were drilled into Hermione's mind every single night, over and over and over again. Hermione would find herself sweating and crying in desperation. Tonks never asked once why she did this to herself.

There were three things Hermione had to remember every single time. The first one was fixing her mind upon the desired destination. In this case, as they had just started, it was the other side of the room. The second step was to focus her determination to occupy the visualized space. Wanting to reach that particular space had to flow from and through every cell of her body. The third step was the turning on the spot, feeling her way into nothingness and it was key to do all of this with ultimate deliberation.

The first time she changed location was from one side of the room to the other and she never once splinched herself. Her reappearance resulted in a cheer that masked a desperate sob. She felt as if someone had just forced her through a tiny hole. Her heart was racing, her chest heaving. Cold tears lingered in her eyes but she didn't cry.

The next night she managed to Apparate outside the Shrieking Shack, and the night after that halfway into Hogsmeade and the third night she reappeared somewhere on the outskirts of the village. It was as far as they could go without being seen. But Hermione had achieved what she was so desperate for. After a total of ten nights of endless training and practice, and retraining and more practice, she had managed to Apparate and Disapparate before the Ministry had reached Hogwarts and started teaching the sixth years.

"Hermione, you are one excellent young witch," Tonks said in appreciation when she caught up with Hermione outside Hogsmeade. She was panting slightly. She had run through the night to meet up with the young brunette. Hermione had just reappeared out of thin air and turned, a smile perched on her lips. She had once again managed to reappear on the outskirts. Hermione's eyes met Tonks' when the young Auror reached her. They sparkled. "I have never known anyone who managed to learn this so quickly, without injuries but most of all, illegally. You know this will not give you a Licence, do you? If you Apparate now you will do so illegally."

"Love breaks all boundaries, right?" Hermione said softly. She knew she had to keep her promise. She would have to tell Tonks why she had been so desperate to break the law. She ran a hand through her hair. The evenings had gotten even colder. Autumn was in full force. Many trees had lost their leaves where others were now painted in shades of red and yellow. A half-moon lingered over their heads, only slightly hidden behind the thin grey clouds.

"I suppose that is indeed true," Tonks answered. She had managed to hide her curiosity well during all these days but now that they had come to the point where Hermione had to tell her the truth she could no longer manage to control it. "Hermione, why on Earth did you put yourself through such a dangerous and illegal action? Whoever it is, this person had better be worth risking being expelled or ending up seriously injured!"

Hermione's eyes dropped the floor. The thought of physical pain seemed almost soothing compared to the pain she felt inside. There was nothing she wouldn't do anymore. But how was she ever to explain that to Tonks? How was she ever going to make her understand she had done all of this because of Narcissa Malfoy, who was Tonks' aunt. How was she ever to tell her she loved Narcissa more than anything else? How she was so desperate. She slowly looked up. "I promised I will tell you. I do not expect you to understand. I simply ask of you to keep my secret. I ask only for your trust."

Tonks nodded and sat down on the ground. She conjured a magical fire and she stared into the flames, her eyes filled both with sadness and anticipation. Hermione too sat down, her eyes focused on the bright orange flames. She pulled up her legs under her chin, wrapping her arms around them. "Do you remember how the Order sent me into the past? That mission they sent me on, the one that began a little over two months ago?" Tonks nodded and Hermione continued. "I did not only find information for the Order. I found someone, someone who made me feel special, and someone who was special. And I fell in love. We both did."

"But it was the past. It could never be," Tonks understood, her eyes leaving the fire they had been staring into a second ago and trying to capture Hermione's. The young witch seemed reluctant to make eye contact. "You cannot Apparate into the past, Hermione. Surely you must know that. This means that whoever it was you met in the past, is still here in the future. Probably a bit older though. Hermione, are you trying to get back to this person? Are you actually trying to find this person?"

"I do not have to find them. I know where to go," Hermione answered. She knew exactly where to go. She knew where to find Narcissa. She had located Malfoy Manor in Wiltshire weeks ago. She had studied it, seen pictures of it and had printed its location in her head. "But I needed a way to get there; a way where no one can track me or follow me. Tonks, no one understands and no one will. No one wants me to do this. No one will ever let me if they knew." She stood up, wrapping her cloak a bit tighter around her. She pulled her eyes away from the young woman she considered a friend. She didn't want to lie.

"You know I am going to ask you who it is, don't you? You cannot expect me not to ask you. You told me all of this and somewhere I think you want me to ask you. You _need_ to tell someone," Tonks said kindly. She sounded warm and friendly though Hermione saw the worries deep beyond her eyes. Their gazes locked. "I got the feeling that whoever it is must either be dangerous or forbidden. Maybe even both. But who am I to say that even because of those things love is never to be?" She swallowed. "Who is it, Hermione?"

Hermione's chewed her bottom lip. She was roaring in excitement she had finally found the only way to find Narcissa yet she felt terrified about facing Tonks, telling her the truth. She clenched her fists and braced herself. She was ready to run as soon as her words were spoken. The blast of the message would linger in the dark night, glowing in the heat of the orange flames long after she had disappeared into the night.

"Narcissa Malfoy."

~()~

Anxiously she had waited for the hours to pass. Classes had never seemed so long, so endless. Slughorn rattled on about some dangerous potion but was kind enough not to give any homework, whereas Snape found the means and the need to increase their pile of homework with another essay. Students moaned and groaned under the heavy burden resting on their shoulders, many foreseeing another late night in the common room or library with only their books for company. McGonnagal had been the one who stared at Hermione r all the way through Transfiguration and Hermione knew why. She had remembered she slapped her, that night in the library. She stared at her table in shame for most of her lesson, unable to face whatever looks lay in those green eyes, and was the first one to throw her books in her bag when the bell announcing the end of their lesson sounded. She had said goodbye to Harry and Ron without turning back and they shared a look filled with questions. She never noticed how McGonnagal had attempted to hold her back by calling her name but in the end had to make do with Ron and Harry instead. She never knew how she questioned them but her friends had to disappoint her. They didn't know what was wrong with her but Minerva did. She just didn't know how deep it went.

She didn't want to be around anyone. As much as she believed Tonks would not betray her trust, she could not be sure. She could not risk anyone else finding out. She could not risk anyone knowing. The thought of the Order stopping her from what she was about to do made her heart ache.

Hermione didn't even bring her bag to Gryffindor Tower after class and rushed straight down the Grand Staircase to the Great Hall. She filled her plate with some chicken legs and roast potatoes before leaving the liveliness of the students gathering behind. The Hall had just started to fill up with students all hungry after another long day. Some greeted her as she walked past. She merely nodded in return, nibbling on her chicken as she rushed down the corridors.

She sat by the lake and waited for darkness to fall before she would return to the castle to finish what she had started. It was almost the end of October. The castle had been filled with Halloween decorations. Dozens and dozens of pumpkin heads with freaky faces hung in the Great Hall, the enchanted ceiling almost permanently dark to create the magical, spooky effect. Magical cobwebs riddled the statues and suits of armour, even more than normal.  
Once darkness had fallen she returned to the castle and walked through the corridors, finding her path to the secret passage way blindly. She had learned to recognise the sounds of the night. She recognised the sounds of the ghosts flying through the air almost unnoticed and she had become especially weary of Peeves. He was a right pest for screaming out loud when students trailed the corridors at night. She knew the hollow footsteps of teachers patrolling the corridors to catch students out of bed. She knew their routines. This corridor was often patrolled by Slughorn though he had never been very good at catching students at large.

Hermione crept through the secret passage way and ran through the tunnel, before reappearing in the shrieking shack. She brushed the dust from her robes and then headed straight for a dodgy box standing in the corner of the room. She took her wand and whispered "Lumos". The tip of her wand began to glow and filled the room with a pale white light. She lifted the lid of the box and took the bag that was inside out. From the bag she took the dress Minerva had given her when she was on her mission. It was the dress she wore when she spent Christmas with the Blacks. It was the dress from her memory.

Hermione stripped from her robes and the clothes she was wearing underneath and stuffed them back in the bag before putting the bag back in the box. She changed into the dress; her breath got stuck in the back of her throat when she got a glimpse of herself in the broken mirror on the wall. It was as if she was looking into the past.

She put her wand safely up her sleeve for now. In her chest her heart was pounding so loud Hermione thought it sounded like a drum in the night. She carefully strolled out of the Shrieking Shack and took in the fresh scent of autumn air. She put her cloak on and pulled her hood over her head, almost disguising herself completely. She glanced up to the sky to find the moon looking down upon her from behind a cloud. It was an overcast night and the wind was increasing in strength every day and it was getting colder. It wouldn't be long before winter would arrive and the first flakes of snow would cover these grounds. Hermione took a deep breath and forced herself to relax. As she closed her eyes she called up the image of Malfoy Manor from the depths of her mind. The picture of the house became clearer and clearer before her eyes. She clutched her wand, pulling it from her sleeve. The Manor was all she saw. All she could think of it. And with a cold hollow feeling in her heart she turned on the spot...

Hermione opened her eyes when she realized she had stopped spinning. Carefully she let her surroundings sink in. Trees, many, many trees surrounded her. Slowly she turned and found the sight she had been so desperately to see. Malfoy Manor appeared abandoned. The mansion lay empty, cold and dark at the end of a long drive. The gates stood wide open, ready to greet whatever dark wizard or stranded stranger that would enter.  
She stored her wand away and carefully took a few steps forward. She was now standing on the long drive way that led to the house. There was no sign of life. No sign of anyone living here. Though she knew Narcissa did live here. Still, even with her husband in Azkaban and her son at Hogwarts.

Fear crept into her heart as she carefully made her way across the drive, closing in on the mansion with every step. Minutes passed before she finally reached the heavy wooden front door. Hermione froze. There was a heavy metallic knocker on the door though she doubted Narcissa would lead her in if she simply knocked.

"Alohomora," she whispered as she aimed her wand at the door. She wasn't sure what she had expected but to find the door to Malfoy Manor swing open and allow her entrance wasn't it. A simple spell like this allowed her access to the house. She wondered if maybe Lucius Malfoy really was as stupid as she had always believed him to be. A wizard of his standards, not to mention a Death Eater, should know better than to trust anyone with a wand to enter his house. Then again, Lucius probably never expected a Mudblood to come looking for his wife.

Hermione found herself standing in a long entrance hallway. The ceilings were high and decorated with what appeared stone or marbled angel faces like you would see them in a church or cathedral. The white floor was made out of marble. To her right was a broad spiral staircase, also marble, which went up to the second floor. All the marble was white. Hermione thought it odd, since this house held more darkness than anywhere else she had ever been.

Carefully she made her way through the long hallway. There were several rooms on either side. One room was obviously the dining room; a long, dark wooden table and six chairs stood neatly in the middle of the room. It was decorated with candles and flowers though it looked like it had not been used for a long time. The room across the hall was what looked like a drawing room. Several arm chairs stood closely together around the fire place. Again the room looked like it had been abandoned for some time, if it wasn't for the fire. The next room was the lounge. Hermione held still in the open door. She sensed the presence of another person. Her eyes drifted across the room. A fire was pleasantly burning in the fire place. Two big leather sofa's stood facing each other. A table made out of the same dark wood as the one in the dining room stood in between. By the fire stood two matching arm chairs and it was there that Hermione found Narcissa, staring into the flames.

"Perhaps you would find it more respectful to announce your arrival next time," spoke Narcissa suddenly and she rose from her chair before turning around. When her eyes discovered the cloaked and hooded figure in the open door her blue eyes narrowed. She did not recognise her visitor. She could not see his or her face. Automatically she reached for her wand, safely tugged into her dress, though she did not pull it. She simply stared. "Identify yourself."

"You know who I am," Hermione answered softly before reaching up and pulling down her hood.

Narcissa gasped for air when she recognised Hermione. "You! But how did a Mudblood like you..."

"You might want to consider using better protective spells from now on," Hermione said. She felt defensive because of the way Narcissa spoke to her. She didn't want to show she was hurt. Her heart was yearning for the woman who now stared at her in contempt. She saw the rings around her eyes. Narcissa looked tired. Her skin was so pale it almost seemed to glow in the light cast by the fire. Yet she looked as beautiful as ever. Her dark red dress clung perfectly to her body; her blonde hair fell wavy down her shoulders and back. "If a little Mudblood like me can simply walk through your front door, so can every Auror from the Ministry. Unless you want to get caught of course."

Narcissa was momentarily stunned by the boldness this young witch displayed. Who did she think she was, walking in here and speaking to her on such a tone? Carefully she stepped forward, closing the distance between them. She cocked her head as she watched Hermione's face closely, looking for any explanation as to why she was here. She had too praise her courage. She was brave to come here and face whatever waited for her. Whoever said stupidity was foolish... maybe that person was wrong. "You are either very brave or very stupid, or both. Have you got any idea about how easily you could have been killed tonight?"

"Killing seems your husband's favourite waste of time. It is however not yours," Hermione answered her voice suddenly softer. Brown eyes caught blue. All the desperation she had felt suddenly seemed to have fallen away. She felt calm. She stood, clutching her cloak tightly around her. She never once reached for her wand. "I came here because there is something you need to understand, Cissy. Something you need to see. Something you need to remember."

Narcissa frowned when she heard Hermione call her Cissy. Only very few people had ever called her that. One of them had been her sister, Bellatrix. She had been the first to call her Cissy. The other had been her mother, who called her Cissy whenever she cried or was sad. And the third... the third had been a person she had tried to forget for so many years. She stared into Hermione's brown eyes, unable to let go yet desperate to understand. "What is this?"

Hermione took of her cloak and dropped it to the floor. She now stood before Narcissa in the dress she wore when they spent Christmas together, all those years ago. Narcissa's eyes widened, as if a fragment of a memory had suddenly dawned on her. "I know somewhere you remember."

Narcissa shook her head. This couldn't be. There was no way. She tore her eyes away from the young witch, the Mudblood, who stood before her. She hated the sight of her. She hated Hermione. She disgusted her. Not because she wanted to but because she had to. She felt her heart twinge inside her chest. Pain. She could not remember the last time she had felt anything. Scars had only faded visibly. The pain had not though she had managed to numb it. Never in all these years had it left her. Loss was never easy to overcome.

Narcissa's eyes found Hermione's again and she held her gaze for all but a heartbeat. "This is impossible. Who are you?"

"You know who I am, Cissy. My name is Hermione Granger," Hermione answered, finding courage to step even closer to Narcissa. They were only inches apart now, the seventeen year old Gryffindor and the wife of a notorious Death Eater. "I am Harry Potter's best friend and your son's worst enemy. The blood that runs through my veins is everything you hate." She paused. She was unsure what to do next. She knew Narcissa remembered something. She had recognised something though the pieces did not seem to fit. "The mere thought of my blood status is enough for your husband or your son to pull out their wand and hex me."

Narcissa's lip trembled. It was as if she had not even heard Hermione tell her who she was. Her blue eyes just searched Hermione's face and trailed along the brown curly hair, the chocolate coloured eyes. "What you said to me at the station, the day the Hogwarts Express left. Those words, you could only have known them if..."

"…If I had been there. Yes. I know someone spoke those exact words to you once. It was your sister, Bellatrix. She called you a fool that day," Hermione saw the tears shimmer in Narcissa's eyes. "Do you remember why?"

"This can't be," Narcissa whispered. A lost tear trailed down her cheek. She stared at Hermione, finally seeing those brown eyes she had been looking for. Her words were incoherent. "No. This isn't real. It just can't be but you are. But how else can you know? Rose?"

"No, not Rose," Hermione whispered. She carefully reached up and finally her fingers touched the soft skin of Narcissa's cheek as they brushed the stray tear away. Narcissa did not attempt to push her away. Hermione's hand rested softly against her cheek." Not now. Not this time. But once I was, yes."

"This is a lie!" Narcissa suddenly spoke, her voice stronger than it had been since Hermione arrived. "You are trying to trick me. I don't know how you found out but this is a lie! This is an illusion!"

"Part of it is indeed an illusion," Hermione said bravely. Tears burnt behind her eyes. She knew that if she did not tell Narcissa now it would be too late. "But I will prove to you it is not a lie. The first time you kissed me was in the girl's bathroom. It was the night we first made love. You were my first. You climbed into my bed the next morning. One night you made stars appear and we lay for hours looking at the beautiful things we knew we could not touch. You took me home for Christmas. I wore this dress, Cissy. You told me how beautiful I looked. Your sister knew about us. She called you a fool. You were to marry Lucius that next summer. The night I left you I begged you not to come and say goodbye."

Narcissa appeared frozen. Everything Hermione had said was true. She had stored these long forgotten memories in the closed chambers of her heart. The night she lost the only person she had ever loved she had become so cold. And she had never felt warm again. That summer she entered into this life. The life she had shared with Lucius for all these years. An arranged, loveless marriage that had brought her more misery than she could have ever foreseen. A life that ripped her heart out of her body day by day to see it crushed before her eyes. She had lost something of herself when she entered this life. And with every day she lost a bit more. She was unsure if she still existed.

"But how, Narcissa finally whispered. She looked at Hermione. How could this seventeen year old Mudblood be the only person who had never known her to love? How could she possibly be the one?

"Dumbledore sent me back in time on a mission," Hermione answered softly. She just wanted to be close to Narcissa. She wanted to hold her. She wanted to take her hands into her own. Kiss her fingers. Kiss her lips. Smell her. Feel her blonde hair tickle her skin. "It was never supposed to happen. You and I, It was never supposed to happen. But when it did, there was no way back. And when I returned, I could not forget. But how can I possibly love a ghost, a memory from my past? A past that is not even truly mine?"

"I was never supposed to fall in love with you," said Narcissa with a trembling voice, her blue eyes never letting go of Hermione's "And nor were you ever to fall in love with me. I was never meant to love you. I was never destined to feel the way I did." She hesitated. "The way I still do."

Hermione forgot everything else. She stepped forward, her lips desperately searching for Narcissa's. Her hands slipped into her blonde hair. Her lips found Narcissa's, pressing them carefully together. It felt as if she was kissing a ghost, a distant memory. And yet it still felt the same. Narcissa did not respond at first. She stood nailed to the floor when she felt Hermione's lips crash upon her own. But then slowly her hands trailed up the younger witch's back and deeply buried in her brown curls, pulling her deeper and firmer into their kiss. It was her tongue who parted Hermione's lips and found hers.

"This has to be wrong," she managed to breathe when Hermione eventually pulled away to allow both of them to fill their lungs with air. Her eyes had fluttered shut as she pressed Hermione closer against her body. Hermione felt Narcissa's developed curves press against her own only just developed body. "But how can this be wrong?"

"Do not think about questions of right and wrong" Hermione whispered as she brushed her lips against Narcissa's ear before tenderly kissing the soft flesh of her neck. Narcissa moaned softly. "Only listen to whether your heart tells you this feels right and if it does then listen. And if it doesn't, leave me now and we will never speak of this again."

Narcissa was everything that was forbidden and wrong in her life. She was a grown woman, married to a Death Eater. She was the sister of a convicted murder. And at the same time she was the only person who had ever captivated her. The only person who had ever made her question her very own existence and treasure it at the same time. She was the woman who had stirred and ignited things in her she never knew she was capable of feeling.

Narcissa took Hermione's hand and lead her out of the lounge, back through the hall in which she had entered the house. As Hermione followed her up the marble staircase for only a second she wondered whether she was doing right or wrong. Lust flickered in Narcissa's eyes. Lust burned in the pit of her own stomach; the urge to feel and to connect. To lost it all. It was then her eyes found the smile on Narcissa's face, it lingered somewhere between friendly and flirtatious. Hermione grasped her hand tighter. She had forgotten how she had missed it.

Willingly she allowed Narcissa to lead her further up the stairs and down into what turned to be a bedroom. Hungry lips crashed onto Hermione's. Blue eyes fluttered shut. Brown eyes took in the sight of the blonde kissing her before closing and being overwhelmed by the sensation.

"You still feel the same," moaned Narcissa as she trailed the side of Hermione's neck. "You haven't changed."

"You have," Hermione whispered in return, her hands sliding up the side of Narcissa's stomach before her fingers searched for the zip of her dress. "You are beautiful." She unzipped Narcissa's dress and watched as the older woman stepped out of it, now standing before Hermione in her white laced underwear. Hermione gasped for air at the sight. Narcissa had changed. Her breasts had become fuller and her body bore the marks of her age. But Hermione did not care. She only saw her beauty. The beautiful porcelain skin she longed so desperately to touch and kiss.

Narcissa unlaced Hermione's corset before helping her out of her dress. The girl now stood in her simple white knickers and bra, cream coloured. Narcissa groaned in pleasure before taking Hermione's hand and leading her to the bed. Carefully she lay her down before straddling herself on top of her. Impatient fingers unhooked her bra and peeled down her knickers before she teasingly removed the fabric covering the secrets of her own body.

"Oh God," Hermione whispered when she was faced with Narcissa's naked breasts and her hands reached up, cupping them tenderly. Nipples responded underneath her fingers and Narcissa threw her head back. She sat naked on top of Hermione, blonde hair cascading her back. Her own fingers trailed the swell of Hermione's breasts, feeling how she eagerly and willingly responded. When she looked down on her she found Hermione staring back at her with passion flickering in her eyes. Her brown curls lay spilled underneath the satin cushions underneath her head.

Hermione looked at Narcissa who was now carefully rocking and grinding herself against Hermione's pelvis. Automatically Hermione responded, pressing her lower body into Narcissa's as she arched her back slightly, offering her breasts to be touched once more. She shivered when she felt fingertips against her breasts, cherishing her flesh. A response she had never anticipated. Narcissa leant forward, her lips finding the rock hard nipple and flicking it with her tongue. Passion increased. Hermione's moans became louder as she pressed her body firmer into Narcissa's. The heat and the wetness between her legs were steadily growing and she became more and more urgent to be touched.

"Oh god Cissy, please," she begged when she felt Narcissa playfully draw circled on her inner thighs.

Narcissa smiled teasingly as she lay herself down beside Hermione. Without warning two slim fingers thrusted deep into her. Hermione cried out and arched her back when she felt Narcissa enter her unexpectedly. She pulled her fingers back out but thrusted them back once again, more urgently and roughly this time. And she kept thrusting, quicker and quicker and deeper. Hermione's pelvis rocked as she felt Narcissa deeply inside her.

Most of this was lust. Pure lust, built up lust that had nowhere left to go after all these years. Little of this was love. It was the purest form of release both needed so desperately. Hermione's finger clenched into the silk bed covers as Narcissa's thumb found her most sensitive spot and rubbed and teased it. She spread her legs further, allowing her more room. The wetness grew steadily and when she felt Narcissa kiss the inside of her thighs before flicking her tongue through her wet folds she cried out.

Narcissa did not please her carefully. She flicked her tongue quickly and skilfully around and into Hermione's core before nibbling firmly on her clit. Hermione arched her back further. Narcissa's other hand clutched a breast, pinching a nipple and grazing skin with her nails. Hermione's hands pressed down on Narcissa's shoulders, grabbing fistfuls of blonde hair as her body rocked faster. Pearls of sweat ran down the valley of her breasts. She begged Narcissa to push her over the edge and eventually she fell into the abyss of her orgasm.

When Hermione opened her eyes she found Narcissa lying next to her, her head resting in her hand, watching her. She smiled when she met blue eyes. "I missed you."

"I missed you so much more than you can even begin to imagine," Narcissa whispered and then found herself pinned down in the cushions. She was surprised by the strength Hermione possessed. Hermione's hungrily lips sucked violently on the skin of Narcissa's neck, bruising her, before trailing down. She kissed the junction between her collar bone and the swell of her breasts. Her fingers carefully rubbed Narcissa's nipples, moaning pleasure when she felt them harden under her hands.

Narcissa slowly parted her legs and Hermione lay herself down between them. Her breasts now rested against Narcissa's, feeling her hard nipples against her skin. Forcefully she kissed her, winning the powerful battle of control and dominance. She carefully rubbed her lower body against Narcissa's. She felt the heat and wetness from her core. The sweet juices glistened against the pale skin of Narcissa's thighs. Narcissa tilted her pelvis, desperate to feel more of the pressure.

"Make love to me," Narcissa begged, blue eyes desperately piercing into brown. Both witches had forgotten about reality. About the danger that surrounded their meeting. And when Hermione slipped two fingers between Narcissa's wet folds and explored her gently before entering her, neither of them cared about what was going to happen to them. All that mattered was here and now. Hermione slipped her fingers deeper into Narcissa, smiling at the pleasant and sweet wetness that waited for her.

"Hermione," Narcissa whispered. It was the first time she whispered Hermione's name. The first time she truly knew the girl that lay with her.

Hermione skilfully moved her fingers deeply in and out of Narcissa, feeling how the older woman pressed her pelvis desperately against her palm. Her teeth carefully bit one of Narcissa's nipples and watched in pleasure as she saw the blonde throw her head back and expose the tender flesh of her neck. As her fingers thrusted in deeper and faster, matching the urgent moans that came from Narcissa, Hermione eagerly attacked the softness of her neck and bruised her skin once again.

From there she kissed and licked her way down, flicking her tongue around her nipples a few times. Narcissa pulled up her legs when she felt Hermione kiss the sensitive flesh of her thighs. She groaned deeply when Hermione's tongue licked across her fold and touched her clit. Her hands buried into Hermione's curls, urging her not to stop. And Hermione didn't. She licked her way around Narcissa's core, gently dipping her tongue inside and moaned when she heard her cry out. Narcissa's chest was rising and falling rapidly, her moans became more urgent and Hermione felt how she tightened around her fingers as she tongue focused on roughly flicking around Narcissa's clit.

Narcissa crashed into the waves of her orgasm and with a loud outcry her nails dug deeply into the skin of Hermione's shoulders. Her hips buckled and her body shivered and shook as she reached her climax. Her back came off the bed before crashing back onto the mattress. Hermione carefully moved away and watched from the end of the bed how Narcissa floated through the waves of her orgasm before landing softly back into the bed.

She crawled up to lay down beside Narcissa and her head rested on her chest as outside the autumn rainclouds opened and heavy rain began to pour down onto the roof. The soothing rattling noise and the warmth of Narcissa's naked body against her own made Hermione's eyes feel heavy. She knew she shouldn't say. Staying here meant people would notice she was missing from Hogwarts. She couldn't stay but when she felt Narcissa's arm safely wrap around her before cherishing her hair she could do nothing more but allow herself to safely fall asleep.


	8. Fitting The Impossible Pieces

**Chapter 8**

Hermione woke with feeling the safety and warmth of an arm softly draped around her waist and a leg entangled with her own, skin on skin. Narcissa's body lay tenderly pressed against hers, warm and somewhat sweaty but still comfortable. She carefully rolled onto her side and lifted her head from the silk covered pillow it had been lying on and her eyes wandered to the window. The sun had not yet risen outside though soft streaks of orange sunlight caressed the horizon in the distance. The arm that lay flung around her a second ago now moved and Hermione shivered as slim fingers caressed the bare flesh of her stomach. She carefully turned her head and found beautiful blue eyes slowly opening, meeting her brown.

"Why are you awake so early?" Narcissa mumbled as she snuggled herself a little closer against Hermione's naked body. She kissed the lines of her neck tenderly, randomly leaving butterfly kisses everywhere. Hermione's eyes fluttered shut. All she wanted was to stay here. "It is still dark outside. Come, lay down."

"I need to get back to Hogwarts," Hermione whispered though she wished for nothing more but to stay in this comfortable warm bed with Narcissa beside her. She reached out and her fingers brushed some blonde hair out of Narcissa's eyes. "Have you forgotten I am after all a student and am out of bed after hours?" She mimicked Minerva's tone of voice rather well. "I will have to leave for now."

Narcissa whimpered in disappointment and attempted to hold onto Hermione as the brunette slipped out of the bed. She stood naked in the room, her young body tenderly cherished by the early morning light that fell through the window. She gathered her underwear and dress from the floor and slipped back into the fabric. She found her wand on the floor and tugged it safely in her dress.

"I will send an owl as soon as I can and I promise I will be back soon," Hermione whispered as she leant in. She brushed her lips against Narcissa's, feeling the strong urge to forget about school and just crawl back into bed. "I love you."

The words lingered like an everlasting echo in the room after Hermione had left. She had turned in the open door, glancing at Narcissa as the beautiful blonde woman crawled back into the sheets that covered her body. Hermione sighed, feeling sad and lonely as she left. But for now, she could not stay. She made her way down the staircase and out of the house. She strolled down the driveway and outside the metal gates she closed her eyes, clutched her wand safely but tightly and called up the image of the Shrieking Shack. She turned on the spot and seconds later found herself at the place where she first learned to Apparate. The sun was now steadily rising and she did not have a lot of time to return back to the castle and the common room unseen.

She crept her way through the passageway that led her back into the castle. Hermione stood in the empty corridor, clutching the bag that still carried the clothes she wore the day before. She had not risked losing any more time by attempting to get changed. Somewhere in the distance a bell sounded though Hermione did not quite remember why or what for. The sun had reached the sky outside and announced the start of day. She stalled when she recognised the sound of approaching footsteps around the corner. Her eyes searched for a place to hide and she slipped into the girls' bathroom a little further down the hall. There she peeled the velvet dress down her skin and exposed the bruises Narcissa's teeth, lips and nails had left on her skin. She could erase them easily with magic but didn't. She changed into the clothes she had in the bag, telling herself she would get changed when she got back to the common room. At least she wouldn't look out of place wearing this. She had stuffed the dress in the bag and swung it over her shoulder before leaving the girls bathroom. Only to find someone was waiting for her. Minerva McGonnagal was leant against the wall, her arms folded in front of her chest.

Her green eyes searched Hermione's face before lowering down the rest of her body and taking in the image before her. "Bright and early are we today, Miss Granger?" she said, her voice not betraying her distrust of Hermione's appearance "If I am not mistaken these are the clothes you were wearing yesterday."

"I-I wanted to see the sunrise, Professor. I couldn't sleep so I just threw on what I could find first," Hermione answered, surprised by the ease with which she lied. She kept her face straight. "After all, I didn't want the others girls waking up because I was stumbling about. I know I was out of bed after hours, or before hours I suppose."

Minerva's eyes narrowed. She never stopped searching Hermione's face but somehow it appeared Hermione's answer had satisfied her for now. But that was until she discovered the bruise on the side of her neck, partially hidden underneath the brown curls and she cocked her head. "I do not recall the early morning sunshine causing those however, Miss Granger." She pointed at the side of Hermione's neck and Hermione's fingers subconsciously touched it. She felt the bruise underneath her fingers and wondered how or even if, she was going to get out of this. Her heart sunk in her chest. "I suggest you tell me where you have been, Miss Granger, or else there is nothing else I can do other than to provide you with much deserved detention for being out of bed, before or after hours alike."

"I am afraid I cannot tell you, Professor," Hermione said defiantly, now folding her arms in front of her chest and copying Minerva's physical appearance. Her lips perched together, causing a thin line. Brown eyes stared into green, not showing any fear or friendliness. "When and where do you wish for me to report for detention?"

"My office after class," Minerva answered. She did not hide her surprise and shock. She repositioned her glasses on her nose before finally looking away, her eyes dropping to the floor. Hermione was unsure whether it was sadness, defeat or Minerva simply realizing she could not reason with Hermione. "Now please return to your dormitory and change into your appropriate school uniform, Miss Granger. I am expecting you at breakfast with your fellow classmates in half an hour and there will be no meal skipping today."

Hermione ran through the corridor, climbing the staircase and rushing down to the Seventh Floor. She climbed through the portrait hole and found the common room had slowly started to come alive. The first few students sat by the fire, some with the morning edition of the Daily Prophet. On a table in the corner lay an abandoned and half ruined game of wizard chess. Several empty goblets that had once contained pumpkin juice lay on the floor. Someone had left a fifth year Charms book by the fire place.

Hermione climbed the stairs to the girls' dormitory and found that the girls she shared her room with were all getting dressed. Lavender Brown just pulled her school robes over her head when Hermione walked in and the girl's blue eyes found Hermione walking in. "Hermione!" she called out and the other girls turned around too. "We wondered where you were! You weren't here when we went to bed and you were gone when we woke up."

"I fell asleep in the library," Hermione said and she pulled a face. She knew it was a believable story and it wouldn't be the first time. "When I woke up it was somewhere early in the morning. I have no idea why no one woke me earlier. I didn't want to wake any of you so I slept downstairs in the common room. I went for an early walk this morning." The girls seemed to accept her story easily and continued with whatever they were doing. Hermione grabbed some clean clothes, her school robes and her books before rushing to the bathroom for a well-deserved and very much needed shower.

She magically made the bruise in her neck disappear but kept the ones no one else could see. She joined Harry and Ron at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall for breakfast and piled up her plate with several pieces of toast, sausage and egg. She was hungry, she suddenly felt. Her stomach rumbled as if she had not eaten for days which was in fact not far from the truth. Ron made some comment about her food but she knew better than to answer him back. Harry however looked at her from the side.

"You look different," he noted and Hermione couldn't help but smile.

"I must say that is quite the observation coming from you since it is neither related to Malfoy or Quidditch. Can you also enlighten me as to how I look different?" Hermione questioned before drinking half her pumpkin juice in one gulp and then sticking some toast in her mouth. She smiled when Harry looked at her with both a bemused and puzzled look in his eyes.

"Nothing really but it looks like you are glowing," he said before picking up the Daily Prophet and hiding his head behind the sports page. Hermione glanced at the front page, grinning to herself about Harry's comment.

"Perhaps I should see Professor Slughorn. After all, glowing is a rather unusual occurrence," she snickered and Ron and Harry both pulled strange faces, exchanging looks of confusion when Hermione once again focused on her breakfast.

"What the hell happened to you? Did someone slip you some unknown potion or something?" Ron wanted to know and picked up her pumpkin juice and sniffing the bit that remained. "I seriously believed you had lost the ability to smile, let alone speak more than five words at once."

"What planet are you two from?" Ginny's piped up from Hermione's other side and she turned to look at Ron's younger sister. She hadn't noticed her when she joined the table. Ginny's eyes briefly met hers. "I mean, isn't it obvious?"

Harry and Ron looked thoroughly confused and had clearly given up on even beginning to understand but Hermione was deeply interested. Her lips curled up into a smile as she glanced at Ginny. "And what is so obvious according to you?"

Ginny grinned. "You are in love! And judging from the symptoms, you've got it bad too!"

Hermione didn't argue. Ginny wasn't wrong. She was in love. She just pulled a mysterious face and finished her pumpkin juice. On her other side Ron and Harry stirred. Harry seemed to feel awkward and was merely smiling to himself. Ron however had nearly jumped out of his seat and leant in to catch Hermione's gaze. He had pulled a face as if someone had just mentioned a dirty word. "You are _what?_!" He made it sound like being in love was some terrible illness.

"In love, Ronald. I am not expecting you to understand since it requires the presence of more than a single brain cell," Ginny said teasingly, knowing very well how her brother felt about his friend. Though she somehow doubted it was Ron that had been the one who captured Hermione's heart. She, and everybody else, had noticed Hermione did not spend an awful lot of time with Ron and Harry at the moment. And also, Ron seemed to have discovered Lavender Brown lately so Ginny had wondered if maybe he had finally moved on from being a jealous, love sick puppy around Hermione. "And she isn't denying it or kicking up a fuss so it must be true!"

"Who is it?" Ron urged her to tell. He looked desperate. For a second Hermione wondered whether he wanted to know because of his own state of mind but when she saw how he nudged Harry when Lavender walked in she knew he only wanted to know so he could take the piss out of her. So she stood up, having finished her plate. She felt eyes burn in her back and she glanced over her shoulder. She found Minerva looking at her from the teacher's table. Her face had lightened up since their previous encounter and she even smiled now that she saw Hermione interact with her friends.

Hermione picked up her books and messed up Ronald's hair with her hand. "That," she said, aiming at the name of the person that had stolen her heart "Is my little secret, Ronald. And I am not going to tell you." And leaving them with that bombshell she turned and walked away. Just before she left the Great Hall she turned and found Ron, Harry and Ginny all staring at her. She smirked, feeling pleased with the chaos and confusion she had caused. "Oh and don't wait for me after class..." Her eyes drifted to the teachers table before looking back at her friends. "I got detention with McGonnagal!"

Before leaving the Great Hall she just caught Harry mouthing to Ron 'detention?'

She did not dread having to go to detention. After her last Defence against the Dark Arts class that day she watched how Ron and Harry made their way to the common room. They threw her a pitiful look as they climbed the stairs and she remained downstairs. But she did not feel worried or upset. She had deserved the detention and frankly, she couldn't care less. The world was beautiful. The sun had been shining all day and suddenly autumn had looked like summer. In a free period between Herbology and Potions she sat by the lake and watched the sun dance on the water. All day Ron and Harry had tried to get her to tell the name of the person she had fallen in love with, finally giving up after lunch. She had not spoken a word related to her new found love and in frustration her friends had in the end turned to Quidditch and obsessing over Malfoy, their favourite subjects.

Hermione knocked on Minerva's door, waiting for her voice to call her in. A short and sharp 'enter' invited her to walk in. Hermione closed the door behind her, her eyes searching around to find Minerva. She was standing by the window but turned now that Hermione walked in. She didn't smile but her face was not a mask of disapproval either. Her emerald eyes sparkled behind her glasses. "Good evening, Miss Granger. I am pleased to see you chose to attend your detention over sneaking out of the castle after hours."

Hermione held still, unsure whether to admit or deny. She chose neither and she simply stared at one of the walls, mostly hidden by a bookcase filled with hundreds of books. "I know I deserved my detention, Professor. I was out of bed after hours."

"I know you did not tell me the truth about where you have been, Hermione but what are the odds of me finding you in the one corridor that knows a secret passage out of the castle?" Minerva asked friendly and only then did Hermione realize there were no rolls of parchment waiting for her, no quill she would have to use to write lines with. No dirty tasks to complete. There was no sign of the usual detention tasks. She never realized Minerva could possibly know about the secret passage way. She blinked a few times. "I know you left the castle, Hermione. I can only ask of you to trust me and tell me where you went. It is not safe out there anymore. You should know better."

Hermione felt guilt fall over her. Why was it Minerva always managed to make her feel guilty where everybody else failed? She stared into the fire, hoping perhaps an answer could be found in the flames. "Professor, I have my reasons to remain silent. As much as you ask me to trust you, I ask you however to trust me in return. I do know what I am doing."

"Sit," Minerva gestured to the familiar chairs and Hermione sat herself down. She crossed her legs and folded her hands neatly in her lap. Nervously she picked at a little scab on her knuckle. She didn't know where to look. "Does any of this involve Narcissa Malfoy?"

The mere mention of Narcissa's name was enough for Hermione's cheeks to turn a deep shade of red. She felt the blush rise from her toes and she looked down at her hands. There was no way she could deny or hide her reaction.

"From that I can only conclude my observations are correct," Minerva answered, her lips partially curled up into a smile that could best be described as sweet "Hermione, I am not in a position to judge but I am in a position to warn someone when they are about to make a mistake, though I often let people make their mistakes so that they can learn from them. But you are on very dangerous grounds here. Narcissa is the wife of a Death Eater and she is the sister of Bellatrix Lestrange. And you, Hermione, are a young witch who is barely of age."

"There is no need to remind me of all these things. I am very much aware of them myself. However, you seem to have forgotten the fact that I know Narcissa. Perhaps better than anyone else," Hermione answered, now feeling strong enough to look up and her brown eyes met Minerva's green. "Despite of my age I am not a foolish girl. The things I have gone through with Harry and Ron are the proof of that. And you know what, yes; I did go and see her. I saw Narcissa Malfoy last night.

Minerva's green eyes widened behind her glasses and she took a deep breath. She had suspected Hermione had seen Narcissa but she had expected Hermione to say Narcissa had come to Hogwarts. "How did you even," Minerva began but suddenly she frowned when she realized how Hermione must have moved from one place to the other. She gathered her thoughts. "You learned illegally! Name your teacher, Hermione!"

"I will not," Hermione answered firmly. She would not betray Tonks. If she was to get into trouble herself she would deal with it fiercely and in whatever way it came. It was not fair to place Tonks in any more trouble. "Nor do I believe it matters."

Minerva took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes with her hand. She did not put them back on. She stood up from her chair and walked to the window, gazing outside for a minute or two before turning back round and her eyes found Hermione's. "You have put yourself in some great dangers, Hermione. Only from that can I assume that the love you feel for her is strong. I urge you however to remain careful. There are people out there who might not be as understand. Narcissa is a pure blood and noble witch. Married to one of the most influential wizards out there, though he rots in a cell where he belongs. Does she plan to divorce him?"

"We have not quite reached that stage yet, Professor," Hermione answered and she did not dare think about the possibility Narcissa would not leave Lucius. "We merely reacquainted ourselves"

Suddenly the soft rasping noise of an owl came from outside and Minerva turned to find a large, dark coloured owl sitting outside her window, holding a piece of parchment in its beak. Minerva opened the window and the owl stepped in. His orange eyes scanned Minerva's face before it dropped the letter into her hand. She turned it around and found it was not addressed to her. She strolled over to Hermione and gave her the parchment without speaking a word. Hermione's heart leapt up in her chest but when she unfolded the piece of parchment she found it was not Narcissa who had sent it. The handwriting was tiny and messy. The note was written in a hurry.

"_Meet me by the lake at midnight. We need to talk. T__.__"_

Tonks had sent the owl and now she wanted to talk. Hermione was sure this had everything to do with her confession that the person she loved was Narcissa on the night they parted. She tucked the parchment safely into the pocket of her robe, already having decided against telling Minerva what was in the note and who had sent it. Minerva knew better than to ask.

"In these dark times even the smallest trace of happiness is something we need to hold on to. Love blossoming underneath these darkened skies is a miracle and a treasure," spoke Minerva as she watched how Hermione stood up from her chair. "I am worried for you, Hermione. But most of all," She took her arm briefly and green eyes captured brown. "I am happy and I hope that whatever both of you search for, it can be found. Just be careful"

"Thank you Professor," Hermione said kindly, feeling a strong sense of warmth towards Minerva glowing inside. She knew that with everything she had done Minerva could easily have reported her and she would have been expelled. She owed her a lot. "I promise I will be careful."

Minerva's lips curled up into a smile when she saw the gratitude in Hermione's eyes. "Love is never easy, Hermione. Take it from a woman my age. Hurt is easier to find than love will ever be. But for now, no more midnight wandering."

Hermione returned the smile, suddenly feeling the parchment burning in her pocket. "I cannot promise you that, Professor."

~()~

Hermione waited until everybody had gone to bed and reassured herself that the girls in her dormitory were asleep. She slipped out of bed, quickly got dressed in jeans and a jumper and made her way down the staircase. The common room was deserted. There was nothing there but the normal cluttered mess left behind by her fellow students. She checked the clock on the wall. Ten minutes till midnight. She walked to the portrait hole and climbed her way through. As quickly and quietly as she could she ran down several flights of stairs before standing in the Great Hall. I was deserted. She did not even hear the soft whispering from the ghosts. She crept her way outside and glanced up to the sky. It was cloudy tonight, which was good. At least no one would see her running in the moonlight. And she began to run. She ran as fast as she could, down to the lake. When she arrived her chest was heaving and her heart pounding harshly against her ribcage.

"Hermione," whispered a voice from the shadows and Hermione turned. Tonks was leaning against a tree, safely hidden in the shadows.

"I got your owl. It reached me while I was in McGonagall's office. Don't worry, I didn't tell her anything," Hermione said as she too stepped into the shadows. She was standing closely to Tonks, maybe only a few inches away. She saw how her hair had turned some shade of dark blonde. She looked tired, with deep dark rings around her eyes.

"Perhaps you should tell her what you told me," Tonks suggested softly and Hermione felt her reach for her arm. "I can't stop thinking about what you said, Hermione. You have fallen in love with Narcissa Malfoy?"

"I know it is difficult to understand. Believe me, I found it hard enough to deal with just for myself," Hermione sighed and suddenly felt some of the desperation she felt in the days before being reunited with Narcissa. "And McGonnagal knows. I told her tonight. It is only the two of you who know. And for now, that's enough for me. I am aware of the dangers, Tonks. I know that this can go horribly wrong. But I can't sit around and wonder what could have been?"

"Spoken like a true girl in love. It was her you went to see after you learned to Apparate, wasn't it? What were you trying achieve?" Tonks wanted to know. Her brown eyes found Hermione's, fixing her to the ground. She could only vaguely make out the shapes of her face in the darkness but she could see the emotions lingering beyond her eyes. "Did you want to see whether she remembered? Whether she still loved you?"

"I am everything she is supposed to hate. The blood that flows through these veins she is supposed to disapprove of. But yet she doesn't," Hermione answered softly, remembering how soft Narcissa's lips had been when they touched her skin. How soft her hands had felt when she touched her. "She remembered and she still loved me or still loves me. How is this ever going to be normal? How is this ever going to be something that will work out? Why have I gotten myself lost in something that is perhaps never to be?"

"Only you can answer that," Tonks answered softly, almost feeling like an intruder into thoughts she believed Hermione would have liked to have kept to herself for a little while longer. She herself knew all too well how confusing and painful love could be. "I have learned love knows mysterious ways, Hermione. But there is a different reason why I came to see you. I thought perhaps you wanted to know. The Ministry received a request for a divorce this morning. Narcissa Malfoy requested to be divorced from her husband, who currently resides in Azkaban. I must say that many of us were surprised. Many thought she would stand beside him, in whatever times were to come."

"She wants to divorce him?" Hermione stumbled over her own words.

"It would appear so," Tonks answered, reaching out a hand and placing it gently on her arm. "Seems that she is willing to walk away from everything she ever knew." Somewhere a branch snapped and both witches looked up. Tonks had reached for her wand and Hermione followed suit. Both stood still for another second or two and then they were suddenly blinded by a bright glow of light.

"Nymphadora," spoke a voice and Hermione watched how Tonks' hair turned a deep, dark shade of red now that someone called her by first name. Both had recognised the voice and neither was happy with its arrival. From behind the glow of a light appeared a pale face with black eyes, greasy black hair and an obnoxiously large nose. Severus Snape held his wand, shining it directly into their faces. His voice was a contemptuous sneer. "If I remember correctly your duties tonight do not involve Hogwarts?" Tonks did not answer, for Snape's eyes had discovered Hermione by her side. He snorted. "And Miss Granger, you appear to be out of bed after hours again. Maybe I should request for you to spend your detention in my classroom as it would appear everything else has failed."

"That would be a failure indeed, sir," Hermione answered before she fully realized it and Tonks nudged her painfully into her ribcage. She closed her mouth but still stared at Snape, feeling a deep sense of hatred rumbling in the pit of her stomach. For just a few seconds she remembered setting hit robes on fire whilst in Slytherin. The memory brought a smile to her face. She glanced at Tonks, their eyes met. She wasn't going to wait for Snape to escort her into the castle. If he would report her to McGonnagal she thought it wise not be around when he did it. "Take care, Tonks."

And with those words she simply walked past Snape and ran off into the night. Snape turned, not hiding his surprise and contempt about Hermione's behaviour towards him. He then turned back to glance at Tonks but she too had disappeared. And with a firm flick of his wand the glow of light disappeared and the night rested in its comfortable darkness once again.


	9. Silent Screams From The Darkness

**A/N: **From here on it will AU. I am ignoring the end of HBP and DH completely. Once again, I am so grateful for all the reviews. I am pleased to see many people do appreciate this unusual pairing.

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**Chapter 9**

The owl scratched against the window of her dormitory. Hermione sat up, feeling drowsy and still drunk with sleep. She rubbed her eyes and found the black owl sitting outside her window. She slipped out of bed and opened it. The owl didn't come in. It simply dropped the parchment in her hand and flew off into the darkness. She unfolded the parchment. The handwriting was neat and curly, the letters close together.

"_Midnight. Tomorrow. Hogsmeade. I will be waiting for you. Do not return this owl. If you cannot make it, do not worry. I will send another owl. Love, Cissy__.__"_

Hermione's heart pounded in her chest and she released the breath she hadn't even realized she was holding .Her eyes drifted across the dormitory. The other girls were still asleep. None of them had heard the owl. She closed the window and gazed outside. It was still dark. Morning was far from dawning. She turned away from the window and clutched the parchment safely in her hand. She crossed the room and climbed back into her bed, resting her head on her pillow. For the rest of the night she did not sleep. She just lay awake, treasuring the note in her hand.

If Snape told McGonnagal about the fact she had been wandering outside the castle after hours there was nothing about Minerva's behaviour that betrayed any knowledge of such. She drilled her students during class, once again reminding them about the importance of their homework being done properly and finished on time. The double Transfiguration class nevertheless rushed past and it was time for Potions, double Charms and Herbology after that.

She was laughing and joking with Harry, who perhaps looked even more tired than she did, and Ron. Harry's eyes were almost constantly focused on his Marauder's Map and for the first time Hermione wondered whether he had seen her last night. It wasn't until lunch that he pulled her aside and he confirmed her suspicions. He pointed at the map.

"I saw you last night," he smirked, his green eyes twinkling playfully and Hermione frowned "Leaving the castle, I mean. And don't worry, I won't tell Ron. He will have a field day rubbing it in. I mean, Tonks is a good one, Hermione. You have to hold on to her! But whatever happened to Krum?"

"Tonks?" Hermione raised an eyebrow in surprise and she slapped Harry on his arm. "You are right and wrong at the same time, Harry. I did indeed leave the castle last night to meet with Tonks. But she is not the person I have fallen in love with. She had learned something I need to know" She paused and looked over her shoulder to make sure no one could overhear them. "Speaking of sneaking out of the castle, McGonnagal is on to me. Any chance I can borrow your Cloak tonight?"

Harry pulled up his shoulders, not seeing the issue with his friend sneaking around after hours. He grinned and his green eyes captured her brown. The tone of his voice was half playful, half serious. "Sure. I'll give it to you after Herbology. Oh come on Hermione, you can't keep doing this. You will have tell us who it is eventually!"

Hermione smirked. "Eventually."

She turned around and left him to his thoughts as she walked into the Great Hall to join the others for lunch. As she sat down in between Ron and Ginny she noticed Minerva's seat was vacant at the table. Just as she wondered where she was she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around, holding her fork in her hand. She found Minerva looking down on her, smiling friendly. Without saying a word she walked on and claimed her seat at the teachers table. Ron and Ginny just stared at the Deputy Headmistress and then at Hermione. Suddenly Ron's mouth dropped and he knocked over his pumpkin juice as he leant in.

_"_Good old _McGonnagal?"_

"First Harry and now you?" Hermione said and put down her fork. She looked at Ron. He looked surprised and shocked. His eyes moved between Minerva McGonnagal and Hermione, as if he wanted to catch the Transfiguration teacher look at his friend. But Minerva did not. So Ron just looked at Hermione, who had now turned to Ginny. "Do you feel the need to mention a name too?"

Ginny shook her head. "No. Seems I am the only one who will patiently wait for you to tell us." She glanced at her brother. "Tell me it is not McGonnagal though!"

"It's not," Hermione grinned and punched Ron against his shoulder. "I can't even begin to imagine. Ron, you really do have only one brain cell! Me and McGonnagal, come on! Harry at least thought it was Tonks!"

"Now that I can see work," said Ron with a dreamy look in his eyes. If he was hurt by learning Hermione fancied a girl over him, he did not show it. And since Ron had never been very good at hiding his emotions, Hermione doubted whether he minded. These days he was too busy having his tongue stuck down Lavender's throat anyway. "By the way Hermione, when were you going to tell us you like girls?"

"The same time I was going to tell you the name of my girlfriend," Hermione grinned and finished her lunch. "Now, if you would excuse me, I got something to sort out" She stood up and left the Great Hall. Ron and Ginny just watched her leave and she found Harry on his way in as she walked out. They greeted each other in passing and Hermione made her way to the library. There she scanned through the register to find what she was looking for and eventually found a dusty old book that informed the reader of various martial and divorce laws in the Wizarding world. Hermione simply wanted, and needed, to understand whether divorce worked the same way in the Wizarding world.

She didn't have a lot of time to research her information and ended up stuffing the book in her already heavy schoolbag. Perhaps after dinner tonight.

After lunch it was time to return to class and she found herself in a busy and loud Charms lesson in the classroom on the second floor. It was a practical lesson and somewhere somebody said a foul word whereas at the same time glass shattered on the other side of the room. It appeared that Professor Flitwick had a particular hard time today in educating the sixth years because Neville's wand came whizzing past after someone had cast a poorly performed Expelliarmus. People giggled and laughed. Professor Flitwick had dismounted his pile of books and was squeaking at students to keep their concentration and attempt the levitation charm on their classmates. The lesson reminded her most of a combination between homework hours in the Great Hall when overseen by Slughorn and playtime on a children's playground in the middle of summer.

Hermione stood surrounded by Ron, Harry, Dean and Seamus but was the only one not having pulled her wand. Somewhere she was grateful one of these four wasn't Neville. She knew they were going to try and make her levitate into the air with a silent spell and she had suppressed the urge to make pillows appear on the ground for the inevitable harsh landing that would await her.

Just as she saw the four boys raise their wands and she closed her eyes the door to the classroom opened with a loud bang and everybody fell silent at once. Heads turned to see who entered and Professor Flitwick, who had just given Neville his wand back for the second time, squeaked in excitement when he found Minerva McGonnagal enter his classroom. She raised her eyebrows and the look in her eyes was a mixture between amusement and disapproval. "Ah Professor Flitwick, I was wondering whether I could borrow Hermione Granger for a moment."

Hermione's heart sank. Minerva knew she had been out of the castle last night. She stored her wand away and ignored Ron's meaningful look. Clearly he still believed McGonnagal was the one she had set her heart on. "See you later," she whispered, though she was quite happy to leave the noisy room. She followed Minerva down the empty corridor, past the stone gargoyle that was the entrance to the Headmasters office. They walked passed Moaning Myrtle's bathroom and Hermione would swear she could hear her sobbing inside.

They held still a little further down the hall and as she turned around Minerva smiled and suddenly the hardness of her mask fell away. Green eyes found Hermione's. "I heard about the divorce."

"Yes, I did too," Hermione said though she did not specify how this information had come to her before it had been made public

Minerva peered over her glasses, green eyes finding brown and capturing them. "This changes things, doesn't it?"

"I suppose it does," Hermione answered softly. She wondered why Minerva had called her out of class. This didn't sound like a reprimand about her being out of bed after hours. "Professor, why did you ask to see me?"

For the first time it appeared as if Hermione had managed to catch Minerva off guard. The older woman searched for words but it remained silent for a few more seconds. "Professor Snape told me he found you out of bed again, Hermione. In the company of Nymphadora Tonks I have to add. Somewhere I think she may have been your teacher and I told Snape I would deal with your misbehaviour." She smiled and Hermione knew she wouldn't. "I must urge you once again not to leave the castle at night. It is very dangerous out there."

Hermione opened her mouth, but closed it again. If she told Minerva she would meet Narcissa tonight she knew for sure she wouldn't be able to leave. She didn't know why but she felt something was wrong. Narcissa was risking a lot by seeing her tonight. Any Death Eater could see her and kill her on the spot if she was seen with a Mudblood. And if was Bellatrix, she would probably kill the both of them. Realizing the danger Narcissa was in made Hermione feel sad. She sighed. It was as if Minerva felt it and she took her hand.

"I know, Hermione. I know it is dangerous, for both of you. Her sister will kill her without shedding a tear. You-Know-Who won't care. No one will care. She is in as much danger as you are," Minerva whispered "But sometimes the most dangerous hazards must be overcome for love and truth to win."

Hermione tried to smile but felt as if her heart had frozen in her chest. She watched how Minerva walked away and returned to class, trying to ignore the pain she felt deep inside her heart. Was this what fear felt like?

Her eyes found the magical clock on the wall. She was still hours away from seeing Narcissa. Darkness wouldn't fall until later. She was scared, nervous. Her mind occupied with thoughts of fear and desperation. Harry and Ron questioned her about what McGonnagal wanted but she did not answer. Their questions just lingered around her like an annoying fly circling around her head.

When the lesson finished she grabbed her books and was the first to reach Herbology, ten minutes before everyone else did. She found herself alone in the greenhouse and enjoyed the precious ten minutes of silence, with just the flowers as a silent witness to her tears, before the voices of her classmates filled the glass room. She had brushed her tears away and hoped her skin did not bare the marks of her tears. As the class went on she noticed how Ron and Harry did not even attempt to strike a conversation. When she caught Harry's eyes she found he was staring at her, obviously worried, and she knew they did not speak to her on purpose. She felt thankful. At least they understood when she rather had her own loneliness for company.

After class she went straight to the Great Hall and forced herself to eat. The tight knot in her stomach made her feel sick and every bite of food felt like torture. She needed several goblets of pumpkin juice to wash her food away. She kept feeling Harry's worried eyes burn into her but every time she looked up he happened to be talking to Ron. She wondered if she could trust him. Perhaps she could. But whether he would understand... She remembered his grief when Bellatrix had killed Sirius, the contempt she had seen in his eyes when they met Narcissa in Diagon Alley. How could she ever expect him to change? Her eyes wandered across the Hall and found Draco. Seeing him, pushing his food around on his plate, made her once again aware of the situation she had found herself in. If he only knew.

By the time darkness fell she had no idea how she had gotten through her evening. Right after they walked into the common room Harry had given her his cloak. He never asked why. He only looked at her and winked. The smile around his lips had made her smile too. She knew what he thought. But she could not tell him he was so wrong.

She spent most of the evening with her face hidden in a book, though she barely read a single word. From the corner of her eye she had watched Ron and Harry play a game of wizard's chess. Ginny had joined them, watching Harry's every move. Hermione had smiled to herself. She was not blind. She had seen how Harry looked at Ron's sister. And she had seen the way she still looked at him. Somewhere underneath the obsessions Harry felt there was still the heart of a young man tormented over having fallen in love with his best friend's sister.

It seemed to take forever for the night to slowly fade. By eleven the common room was deserted. Ron had gone to bed. Harry had gone to see Dumbledore for one of his missions. Hermione had managed to make everyone believe she was still reading and after they had all said goodnight they had left her. She slipped out of her chair and summoned her bag from the girls' dormitory. It came flying down the stairs silently and swung it over her shoulder. She climbed through the portrait hole and slipped into the nearest girls' bathroom she could find. She changed into black jeans and black jumper and put on her own cloak. She put her wand in her back pocket and made sure the coast was clear when she made her way down the Grand Staircase before reaching the secret passage out of the castle. The corridor was deserted and with a relieved sigh Hermione crept through the passageway and almost ran to the Shrieking Shack. She emerged on the opposite side and left the building she had appeared in and she hid herself under Harry's cloak. The night was dark and black. Thick clouds hid the stars and the moon and she was actually quite happy. The less light there was the better. She made her way from the Shrieking Shack into Hogsmeade. The tiny village was quiet and deserted. Even the lights in the Three Broomsticks had gone out. Hermione glanced at her watch and could just about make out it pointed at 23.55. Just as she was about to walk into the village square she heard the familiar crack not too far behind her in the shadows. She turned around and took out her wand, carefully approaching the spot where she had heard the noise. Took off the cloak and folded it back into her bag before walking further.

Suddenly a strong hand pulled her into the shadows and hungry lips crashed onto her own. She stood frozen for a second but then carefully slipped her arms around Narcissa and pulled her closer, softly moaning into their kiss. Some of Narcissa's blonde hair tickled the side of her face and she whimpered when Narcissa moved away.

"I am so happy you could make it," she whispered as tender fingers cherished Hermione's cheek "I do not wish for you to get into trouble, my love. But I needed to see you."

"Getting into trouble? Considering I can get killed for being seen with you, just getting into trouble seems like a minor inconvenience," Hermione whispered, her brown eyes searching for blue in the dark. Narcissa was also wearing a thick black cloak which hid her beautiful features from the night. "Why did you need to see me so urgently an d why here? Why now?"

She could feel something was wrong. Something about Narcissa seemed different. She had been through many difficult moments in her life and she could tell when something was very wrong.

"There is no time," Narcissa whispered, her voice suddenly filled with fear and despair "You need to listen to me, Hermione. Do not ask questions. Listen to me and do exactly as I tell you. When I am finished you must go back to the castle and alarm the right people, as soon as you can. Danger is coming, Hermione. And it will arrive tonight. The Dark Lord has succeeded. He has found a way to infiltrate Hogwarts. The plans will come to a full tonight."

Hermione felt how her head was spinning by what Narcissa told her. "What do you mean? The Dark Lord? You mean Vol..." She swallowed the rest of his name, knowing that not even Narcissa had dared speaking it out loud. She felt fear rising in her chest. A cold feeling crept up on her. Behind her in the distance she could just about make out the shadows of Hogwarts against the night time sky. "What do you mean he has infiltrated the castle?"

"He was given a task by the Dark Lord. And only he is to carry it out. Tonight it will happen. Tonight," Narcissa's blue eyes found Hermione's and she saw the tears lingering, glistening like stars that were about to fall. "Dumbledore will die." Tears rolled down her cheek. "Draco. He ordered my only son to carry out the deed. Draco is to kill Dumbledore. And it will happen tonight."

"Draco is going to kill Dumbledore?" Hermione asked and suddenly she realized Harry had been right all along. Draco had been the one to jinx Katie Bell and bring in the necklace. He was the one who poisoned the mead but instead of killing Dumbledore it almost killed someone else. Harry had been right. He was a Death Eater. She could hit herself for not believing him. She then realized Harry had gone to see him tonight. She was not even sure whether they were in the castle "Cissy, how on Earth is he going to accomplish that?"

"It does not matter now. Fact is he has managed. And he will kill him. Hermione, do not believe Snape. You are not to believe him! He made the Unbreakable Vow to me over the summer. Bellatrix was there and he swore to protect Draco. If Draco fails, he is to carry out the deed himself. If Draco does not kill Dumbledore, Snape will," Narcissa urged her and grasped Hermione's hands into her own. She could see the younger witch was still trying to understand. "Go, quick. Death Eaters will arrive soon."

She never got to finish her sentence. Over their heads in the distance the sky began to rumble. A low, terrible noise as if the clouds were breaking apart underneath a heavy thunderstorm. There was no lightening. There was simply one bright green flash that appeared to come out of nowhere and then the clouds ruptured, announcing the arrival of the evil that lay beyond. Out of nowhere appeared the green glowing skull with the serpent for its tongue. Hermione's eyes widened. The Dark Mark was hanging over the highest tower of Hogwarts, the Astronomy Tower. Beside her Narcissa shivered and grasped her hand, cold fingers closing tightly around Hermione's wrist.

"Too late," she whispered and she pulled Hermione closer to her. Her voice was a weakened whisper; her eyes never left the hovering Dark Mark in the sky. "Go back to the castle. Warn whoever you can. Stop Draco! Stop Snape!"

"Cissy," Hermione protested but somewhere in the distance she heard the terrifying sounds of more people Apparating. She didn't know whether they were Aurors or Death Eaters. Either would mean danger. Her mind worked hard. She needed to save Narcissa. She needed to do something. After tonight the Death Eaters would know what she had done. They would know about them. She didn't let go of Narcissa's hand and instead pulled her closer.

"Go home. Trash the house. Leave your blood somewhere they will find it. Run hide until I can come and find you. The Death Eaters will think the Order captured you. Leave now. Do not worry about me. I promise I will find you." Her heart cried in pain in her chest. Brown eyes met desperate blue. She didn't want to leave her. She wasn't even sure if after tonight she would ever see her again. "I love you."

"I love you too," Narcissa whispered and lips brushed against Hermione's before she had to let go. She Dissaparated into the darkness and for just a few seconds Hermione stood frozen. Over her head the Dark Mark was glowing dangerously in the sky. She spun around on her heels and ran back to the Shrieking Shack. As she left she never heard or noticed the pop coming from two people Apparating not far from where she had been standing. Minutes later Harry and an injured Dumbledore flew towards the castle. Neither was aware of the presence of the other. Had they been then perhaps events as they happened that night could have been prevented.

Hermione made her way back into the castle. Her chest was heaving and her heart was pounding wickedly fast against her ribcage. When she reappeared inside the castle walls she sensed she was not alone. She could hear footsteps nearby. Perhaps a teacher... Perhaps worse.. The sounds of the castle, the screams and the cries, found their way into her ears she knew Narcissa was right. It was too late.

She ran through the corridors and her mind was racing. Minerva, Ron, Ginny, Harry, Dumbledore. She had to find them. She had to tell them what Narcissa had told her. She had to warn them. Somewhere in the distance she could hear voices. Desperate and anxious voices. As she came closer she found her friends. Neville, Luna, Ginny, and Ron. They all looked shocked and at the same time delighted to see her.

"Hermione! We wondered where you were! Harry asked us to patrol the corridors but we couldn't find you!" Ron shouted as she came running down towards her. "What the hell is..."

"The Dark Mark!" she said, terribly out of breath. Her lungs were squashed. She could barely breathe in to take in some precious oxygen. She tried to stop the heaving of her chest. "It's the Dark Mark!"

She never got a chance to say anymore. The battle erupted. The fight had begun. She could not warn them. Words could not break the fight. Their lives depended on this night. She could not tell them what Narcissa had told her. And as the battle proceeded and the terrible events of its aftermath unfolded Hermione found that even if she had been able to warn anyone, she would never have been able to save Dumbledore. Draco got to him before she even knew what was happening. And then Snape got to him and did the one thing Draco could not. Take the life of an innocent, unarmed man.

She fought for her life. She fought for the lives of her friends. And she fought for Narcissa's life. And whereas Dumbledore's life was lost into the darkness tonight, eventually light would come from even that darkest moment. She didn't know whether it was true, but in order to move on she had to believe it. And so she tried. She tried desperately. And somewhere, she believed.

She listened to Harry telling everybody how Dumbledore had died. She could picture Malfoy, his hand trembling as he clutches his wand. Not enough like his father and too much like his mother, unable to take a life. And she could picture Snape... the dirty bastard... She did not want to think about Dumbledore's face when he looked up to the man who had betrayed him in so many ways.

And as they stood all gathered together in the hospital wing, mourning Dumbledore and treating the wounded, somewhere from the darkness came the lament song of a phoenix. It was the sadness and the beauty that broke her heart yet also filled her with a sense of hope.

Minerva entered the ward after what had felt like forever, though yet it was merely minutes. When Harry told her Snape had been the one to kill Dumbledore she almost lost her balance and she fell into a chair. Tears fell from her eyes. Hermione stood frozen. She barely listened to what she said. She felt torn. Something inside her was ripped apart. So many things happened. People explain what had happened. She told her story though she was barely aware of her own words.

She found Minerva's eyes. She had just spoken to Tonks and Remus. Finally the mystery of whatever was going on was cleared. "Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world." And Hermione knew what Minerva thought. She knew what she believed. They gazes locked over the distance of the room. Sadness lingered around them. But it was in those green eyes she found the tiniest fragment of hope

Hermione walked to the window as the others gathered around Bill's bed. Somewhere out there lay what she loved and treasured the most but somehow that very same thing was in a way responsible for what had happened tonight. If she had told her sooner, if she had told her just that little bit sooner... But she knew Narcissa couldn't. And she knew better than to blame her. She brushed her tears away. Tears other mistakenly believed to be over Dumbledore. Oh they were for him, but most of all they were for the woman who now ran from the darkness and was hiding somewhere, waiting for Hermione to find her.

But Hermione didn't know whether she ever would.


	10. Choices Between Life And Love

**A/N: **I am so sorry for taking forever to update. I am currently on holiday with very limited internet and I lost my grandfather last week so it's been a bit of a strange, hectic time. However, this morning I found the time and the space to finish this chapter right here in Las Vegas so I hope you guys will be satisfied for a while. I will continue writing once I am back home. Thanks for reading everyone. This story has turned out to be so beautiful.

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**Chapter 10**

When both darkness and light are your enemies, where do you stand in a world that does not recognise your face? Where do you run for shelter, for the safety of loving arms and where do you hide from all the pain? Where do you turn to when the tears burn your skin, leaving you battered and bruised every time? Where do you go when the pain overwhelms you but there is only the silence and emptiness to hear your agonizing screams? Where do you go when you stand beside the ocean, drowning in loneliness, as your tears drip into the sea and once again remind you that you do not exist?

She stared out of the window of the little cottage. In the distance the waves crashed against the cliffs, breaking violently onto the rocks. The wind was howling mysteriously around the house, carrying whispers she could not hear. Darkness surrounded her in so many more ways than one. Stars riddled the sky but yet they seemed to sparkle no longer. The full moon appeared to be stained red. Blood had been spilled.

Narcissa brushed her tears away, curling herself a little further up onto the leather sofa she sat on. She pulled up her legs and wrapped her arms tightly around her knees. This had been her refuge; an old abandoned cottage somewhere in the forgotten beauty of Cornwall. In the fireplace a weak fire burnt. It was just enough to keep her warm throughout the night.

Her memories felt like nothing more than stolen moments. Fragments of a life she once had that now just came to haunt her in her loneliness; a tormenting taunt from her own heart. Yet she endured the suffering gladly for when the beauty of those painful memories captured her, she did not feel the pain of the situation she had found herself in. She had been foolish for believing that by running everything had changed. Things had changed but not for the better. She had been a fool and like a fool she could not return.

She had lost counts of the night she had spent like this, gazing outside and silently wondering what was waiting for her there. Outside this door lay a world that hated her. A pure hatred she knew she would never be able to survive. So much danger awaited her if she would leave. The best most comfortable punishment would be death but she knew that if Voldemort was to catch her death would not be given to her. No, her punishment would be to stay alive and to be humiliated day by day. To have to endure his torment and being faced with the black hatred lingering in her sister's eyes. He would make her a slave of his bidding. Even death seemed more attractive than the thought of having to endure Voldemort's torment.

At the moment anything would be better than this.

~()~

Hermione stood outside the Burrow. The school year had finished though the memory of Dumbledore's funeral still lingered in everybody's mind. The death of Dumbledore had changed everything and she knew she had to do something. She could not stay and wait. She needed to find Narcissa. She had made her a promise. But it would mean finally having to tell everybody the truth. And it was that truth that could be the difference by having the safety of her friends or losing everything.

There was no answer to the question she had been asking herself all along. The answer to the choice between life and love was neither, Hermione had learned. She stared at the sun setting behind the horizon and suddenly she became aware of someone looking at her. She turned around and found Harry in the open door of The Burrow. She was surprised to see him. Since the night Dumbledore died he had not spoken more than ten words to anybody. Her brown eyes met his green and he carefully strolled over the grass towards her, his hands deeply in his pockets. It was only now that she noticed the dark rings under his eyes. They were almost as bad as her own.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Harry asked, aiming at the sunset and she nodded slowly. "It's a shame that not all the beautiful things that disappear have a way of coming back to us."

Hermione had never thought those words to be any truer. "Harry, there is nothing you could have done. Stop beating yourself up over it. What else do you think you could have done? Killed Draco? Would that have made things better? Killed Snape perhaps? He would have killed you before you'd even raised your wand!"

"I know all those things, Hermione," Harry answered and from the open door Ron walked over towards them as well. Hermione wondered whether the boys had agreed to come and talk to her. She knew they had noticed she would stay awake for most of the night, looking out of the window and lost in her thoughts. "I can see something is troubling you. We both can." He nodded at Ron who was now standing at her other side. "Why don't you talk to us?"

"Because I can't," Hermione whispered, her eyes once again drifted off to the sunset. She felt tears burn behind her eyes. She realized Harry and Ron had come to help her. They had come to speak to her, to understand what she was feeling.

"Listen, we know it's not McGonnagal. We know it's not Tonks either," Harry said and he glanced at Ron for a second "You looked so happy before, Hermione. But now all you seem to do is cry and stare out of the window. We are your friends."

"You won't be my friend anymore when I tell you," Hermione whispered, still fighting off the tears. She never told them about what happened when she went back in time. She never told them about Narcissa. She never told them how she had fallen in love with her. She never told them she had lied to them all this time. She had never told them the truth. "How can you understand?"

It was Ron who took her hand. "Come on Mione, it can't be that bad."

Narcissa wasn't bad. She knew that. And she knew she was waiting for her somewhere out there. She was desperate to find her. But finding her meant having to leave all of this behind. She sighed and allowed herself to look up, meeting Ron's eyes. "I will have to leave. There is something I need to do. I can't say how long I'll be gone. But I just hope that you will understand and let me go."

"Go? Leave where?" Harry questioned, much like many of the times she would ask him the same thing. "Hermione, what on Earth is going on?"

She snapped. Something inside her broke. The damn that had kept all her emotions and pain inside seemed to have broken. Tears streamed freely down her face and through a blur she looked at her friends. "When I went back in time I met someone, someone special. We fell in love." Her story was constantly interrupted by her sobs. Neither Ron nor Harry knew what to do. Harry just patted her clumsily on her back. It was a lame gesture but it was better than nothing. "When I left we had to say goodbye but when I got back all I wanted was to go back. I saw her again, in our own time. She was all grown up. She was so different and I fell in love again. She did too, no matter how much she was supposed to hate me."

It was the last bit that gave it away and Harry pulled his hand back. He stared at Hermione. She was not sure what she saw in his eyes. Surprise or disgust, or perhaps hatred.

"NARCISSA MALFOY?"

Ron stared at Harry in shock as he called out the name of the woman who was the mother of the boy who was supposed to have killed Dumbledore.

"Harry please," Hermione begged and Harry collected his thoughts and just stared at her. "She tried to warn me about what was happening. But she was just too late. She tried to save Dumbledore. If I had just gotten back to the castle a little bit quicker, maybe then... "

Harry just turned around and walked away, leaving her lost and alone. She was not sure what hurt more. His reaction when she told the truth or now that he abandoned her. Ron still stood beside her. He looked at her, puzzled and confused. But then it was as if his brain made a choice and he followed Harry into the house. Suddenly she stood alone. She turned and watched them go. She did not need to make her choice. They had just made it for her. She pulled out her wand and silently summoned her belongings from her room. They landed by her feet in the grass and she picked them up. Tears fell from her eyes, burning her inside and outside. She looked up and glanced at the Burrow one last time. She knew she had to leave.

She took her wand and closed her eyes. She turned on the spot and felt the familiar feeling of Disapparating wash over her. Tears were still falling from her eyes. Seconds later she found herself standing in Diagon Alley, just outside the Leaky Cauldron. She clutched her bag and stepped in. Everywhere around her things felt different. Danger lurked in the invisible, she realized. She hired a room for two nights, having no idea how long she would really stay here for. She wasn't a great fan of the inn but it was the only place she could think of.

After having left her bag in her room she went back downstairs and climbed onto a chair in the corner of the bar, ordering a glass of fire whiskey. She drank half of it straight away, feeling the hot glow of the alcohol glide down her throat and felt how it warmed her up internally. It managed to remotely banish the numbing cold she felt.  
Hermione stared into her glass for several minutes as she tried to collect her thoughts. The hustle and bustle of the pub only vaguely found its way into her ears. She moved about on her barstool, her eyes focused on the dark wooden bar and her half empty glass.

She had left Harry and Ron without notice. She did not tell them where she went. She did not even tell them she was leaving. She wondered whether they knew by now. And perhaps this was the first place they would look; perhaps they would not look for her at all.

Suddenly she picked up her glass, threw the rest of her fire whiskey down her throat and abandoned her seat. She returned to her room after inquiring where she could borrow an owl. A wizard who overheard her advised her to go down Diagon Alley. Not far from Madam Malkin's was a little Owlery where witches and wizards could send their letters. Hermione had thanked him with a kind smile and now pulled a piece of parchment and a quill from her bag. She sat down at the little table underneath the window, as if the words she was looking for could be found outside

_Dear Cissy__  
I am sending this owl in __the __hope __that __it will find you. I promised I would find you but I don't know where you are. Dumbledore is dead. I am sure you have heard. So much has happened. I have told Harry and Ron. And I have left them. I am staying at the Leaky Cauldron for the next day or two. After that I will move on though I don't know where I am going. Perhaps Hogwarts. I know McGonnagal will let me stay. Maybe I will go stay with my parents. I promise I will send another owl if I move.__  
I hope you are safe. I am looking for you. Never forget that.__  
I love you.__  
Hermione_

She rolled up the parchment and left her room. She entered Diagon Alley and found the little Owlery the wizard had been talking about. She picked a big grey owl and it happily stuck out its paw for her to attach the parchment. "Find Narcissa Malfoy," she whispered and the owl looked at her before it spread its wings and flew off. She watched it disappear into the distance and was still staring at the sky long after the owl had disappeared.

She felt lonely. Somehow she had expected or perhaps hoped that her friends would have come looking for her by now. But no one came. She wandered around Diagon Alley for a while. People hurried past, hurdled together in small groups. Anxious eyes constantly scanned around. Hermione tried to ignore the numb feeling inside. She felt hollow, empty. Her feet automatically carried her back to the Inn and she returned to her room. She ordered some food to her room and sat in her window as she ate only a tiny bit. She was not hungry.

She looked up, disturbed from her thoughts when a soft knock came from the door. She slipped out of the window and crossed the room to the door. She hoped to find Harry or perhaps Ron. And at the same time she wished it wasn't either of them because she would give them a piece of her mind. As she opened the door she was surprised it was neither of her friends but it was a familiar face. Minerva stood somewhat nervously outside Hermione's door, her green eyes peering curiously over her glasses. Hermione immediately noticed she was wearing her hair down. She was clearly not here for any official business.

"Hermione, can I come in?" she asked carefully and when Hermione stepped aside she walked into the room. She turned to watch her close the door and waited for Hermione to walk back to the window. She did not wait with announcing the reason of her visit. "I heard you left the Burrow in quite a hurry today."

"Did you?" Hermione questioned, wondering who told her. She felt anger boiling inside her. "And who informed you of that?"

"Fact is that you did. Hermione, it is outside of school term so I cannot tell you what to do. But I am worried you may be making a mistake," Minerva said softly and her green eyes captured Hermione's brown "I can only assume that you have told Mr Potter and Mr Weasley about you and Narcissa?"

"Listen, I don't want to talk about this anymore. I am fed up with listening to people telling me I am doing wrong. I am listening to my heart and there is nothing I can do," Hermione suddenly lost all her control. All her emotions that had built up over the past few months suddenly came pouring out. She cried angry tears and inside she ached. She clenched her fists and walked away backwards when Minerva approached her but found herself stuck between a wall and her mentor. She allowed Minerva to finally wrap her arms around her and she fell into an embrace that offered comfort for the very first time. Finally there was some comfort she had been longing and looking for all these months. Finally there was a feeling of safety. She pressed herself against Minerva; her tears dripped down and disappeared into her emerald green robes.

"Perhaps everyone has been trying to decide for you whereas only you can decide what is best," Minerva said softly, her hands tenderly brushing through Hermione's hair "I am sorry for making you feel as if I was judging you and telling you that you were wrong. I just wish that life is kind on you. Times have been hard and I think I only now realize that all this time, you stood alone. Just know you have a friend in me, Hermione, whether you want it or not."

"Thank you," sobbed Hermione softly and lifted up her head to look up to Minerva "I have sent an owl to find her. I can do nothing else but wait. I don't know where she is. I am not going back to Harry and Ron. They have made their choice and I just cannot do this at the moment. I have followed both of them for years. It is time that for once I take my own steps into this world and if that means I fall, I shall fall."

"I was hoping you would join me for a cup of tea perhaps," Minerva said kindly and Hermione slowly moved away. The older witch smiled. "Though I saw how you handled that glass of fire whiskey so perhaps you fancy something stronger."

With a thankful smile Hermione followed her mentor out of her room and down into the pub.

The two days she had booked to stay at the Leaky Cauldron disappeared quickly and the owl did not return. Instead of returning to Hogwarts or going to her parents, Hermione booked two more days. It was the morning of the third day and the sun had fully risen in the distance and covered Diagon Alley with a weak glow of sunshine. She had just enjoyed a shower and had gotten dressed in worn out jeans and a white blouse when she spotted the dark owl sitting in her window. Her heart leapt up as she rushed over and the owl extended its leg to her. She found the parchment and with shaking hands removed it. The owl rasped thankfully and she patted it on the head briefly before it flew off, presumably to the Owlery it had come from.

She recognised Narcissa's handwriting immediately and when she unfolded the parchment a smile fell over her face.

_My dearest Hermione__,__  
Your owl found me. I now hope it will find you. I am staying in a little cottage in Cornwall. I will describe it at the bottom of this letter so perhaps you can Apparate. I have been staying here since the night I left. I have been waiting for you, hoping you would come. Danger lurks around the corner my love and I beg you to be careful. Both The Dark Lord and my sister are looking for me, yet they do still believe the Order has captured me. Knowing Bella she will want revenge. Your friends must be careful.__  
Draco is with The Dark Lord. Snape took him. I can only hope he is still alive. He has failed in his task tho__ugh Snape completed it for him.__  
__I cannot wait for you to join me. Loneliness is the worst feeling a person can endure. I hope soon I share more tenderness with you.__  
Love always__,__  
Cissy_

Underneath the letter was a very detailed description of the cottage and the area where Narcissa was staying. Hermione summoned her things and she packed them all in her bag. She put her cloak on, threw her bag over her shoulder and scribbled a tiny little note which she gave to Tom the bartender, urging him to give it to Minerva McGonnagal when she would arrive tonight. He nodded in almost a submissive way and Hermione left the inn. Once outside, behind the pub, she clutched her wand and closed her eyes. She called up the picture in her head like Narcissa had described it and with a great sense of hope and luck she turned on the spot.

Sea air penetrated her nose seconds later and she carefully reopened her eyes. Somewhere she could hear waves crashing. She was standing in a green, hilly field. There was no sign of life. Though she knew she was not far from where she wanted to be. Hermione put her wand away and started walking, running down the hill. And as she went further down she spotted the cottage in the distance. It stood alone and abandoned in the landscape. It was made out of grey stones and had once been decorated with flower baskets but the flowers had died a long time ago. Hermione slowed down as she approached the cottage and eventually stood outside the rusty metal gate. It creaked as she opened it and she caught a glimpse of something moving inside. She automatically drew her wand.

"Cissy?" she called softly, just loud enough for whoever was inside to hear. She heard some soft stumbling and then the familiar click of a lock being opened. She stepped up closer to the door, reaching out her fingers to touch the door handle. She never lowered her wand as she carefully pulled the door handle down and the door carefully opened. There was nothing but silence inside. Carefully she stepped inside, closing the door immediately behind her. The cottage was only dimly lit by the fire in the fireplace. She could tell the fire was magically contained. Her eyes scanned around the apparently abandoned cottage. It was rather stylishly decorated in typical cottage style; floral sofas and a dark wooden table.

"Cissy, it's me, Hermione," she whispered. Now that her eyes had gotten used to the darkness she looked around and finally discovered the shadow of a woman, hidden in the darkness. "Cissy?"

"Hermione," Narcissa whispered and stepped forward. Her lips found Hermione's almost straight away as her arms tenderly closed around her, pulling her into a sweet embrace. And they held each other as everything they felt, all the love and all the pain came pouring down with their tears.


	11. Second Chances Hide In The Past

**A/N: **This is the final chapter... Thank you all for leaving such lovely reviews! I decided to take this turn because I was not expecting the relationship between Narcissa and Hermione to go down well in the Wizarding wold.

* * *

**Chapter 11**

(8 years later, 7 years after the fall of Voldemort)

Pain does not fade the same way time does. Time slips away into nothingness but pain is an everlasting reminder. But it never goes away. It lingers in memories, in thoughts. It hides in tears and in smiles. It creeps into conversation or into silence. It follows you, wherever you walk. It will not allow you to hide and it will now allow you to feel freedom.

Hermione shivered when she felt Narcissa's hand reach for hers. For a brief second she had forgotten where they were and that they were together. For a brief moment everything had seemed different. Now the grey darkness covered them and swallowed them up once again. It was a dreary, grey and rainy day. Heavy grey clouds had packed up in the sky over their heads and a cold sharp wind blew through the leafless trees. There was nothing else but silence here.

Hermione's eyes found the white marble headstone that marked the grave. The words sunk into her again. Like all the times before. Draco Malfoy. Lost in a battle he was never to win.  
She looked beside her. She saw the tears slide down Narcissa's cheeks. Her blonde hair rested on her shoulders, partially hidden underneath her cloak. Her hand held Hermione's. Slim fingers traced the palm of her hand. Blue eyes focused on the white, cold marble that carried the endless reminder of her loss.

Narcissa turned to face Hermione. "Why do we keep coming here?"

"Because you need to, my love," Hermione whispered softly and she reached up to brush a tear from Narcissa's face "Because we both need to" Narcissa rubbed her face against Hermione's hand, her eyes fluttering shut under the warm gentle touch. "Do you remember, my love?"

Narcissa remembered. She remembered everything. She remembered every day. It had been seven years since the fall of the Dark Lord. Seven long years that were meant to heal and close the wounds that had been so painfully ripped into their hearts and souls. So many lives were lost. So many souls were taken and destroyed. As she stood here, laying down her white roses on her son's grave, the painful reminder of her loss found her once again.

"I know Cissy," Hermione whispered softly, her lips trembling and she shivered as the cold wind picked up again. She tried to hide deeper into her cloak and longed for the warmth and comfort of the fire in their living room. "I feel your pain."

They mourned their loved ones in loneliness. The world did not recognise them. The world could not accept them. Her friend had left her the day she decided to leave the Burrow. No one ever spoke to her again when the truth about her and Narcissa was revealed. Whispers still followed them wherever they went, eyes followed them every day. People did not speak to them. They had just abandoned them, left them alone to deal with all their grief. It was as if no one cared. Loneliness was perhaps an even worse emotion than pain that could not be shared.

Hermione sighed. Standing in this cemetery was a cold reminder of all she had lost but which was not carrying a headstone. Lupin, Tonks and Fred Weasley had all died in the War. Bellatrix, Narcissa's favourite sister, died that same night. And with them so many more died.  
Draco had fallen only a year later, as he was hunted down by Aurors of the Ministry. He had been with several other Death Eaters, amongst them was his father. Lucius was taken prisoner and would spend the next three years in Azkaban before he died, alone and rotting in his cell.

But it was not only those who had died she had lost. She had not seen or heard from Harry, Ron or any of the others for all these years. She had stopped sending them letters a long time ago, when the owls kept returning with the parchment still attached to their paws. She had stopped hoping to hear from them. She had stopped believing they were just ignorant. She now simply believed it was an illusion and that perhaps numbness wasn't so bad after all.

"Maybe we should stop coming here," Narcissa said as blue eyes looked up to meet brown. She could see Hermione shivering and her hands felt cold. Her pain reflected in the depths of her eyes. "I know how much this hurts you, Hermione. And I do not wish to cause you any more pain."

"Life will always cause us pain, Cissy. It appears to be the consequence of our love," Hermione answered softly and Narcissa could do nothing else but nod in agreement. "Once a year we come here, only once a year, my love. You only want to come here one on Christmas Day. But I know you miss him so much more, Cissy."

Narcissa leant in. Soft lips brushed against Hermione's. She tasted the sweetness mixed with the salt from her tears. Softly she answered her kiss. Their hands united before blue and brown eyes dropped down to look at the marble stone one last time. They turned around and began to walk back to the entrance of the cemetery. It was when they were halfway down the path a figure caught their eye and Hermione stopped. Narcissa froze too.

Slowly the figure became clearer and the image of a woman appeared. Emerald green eyes sparkled friendly behind a pair of glasses. Grey hair that still betrayed the ash blonde colour it once knew dangled from underneath a black cloak. A white scarf was wrapped warm and safely around her neck. It was when she found the two women standing still that a smile broke through on her face. Hermione realized she had aged so much in the past few years and only now she realized Minerva McGonnagal was indeed much older than she ever remembered her to be.

"Minerva," Hermione said and she let go of Narcissa's hand. When she felt Minerva wrap her arms around her and pull her into a tender, warm embrace she realized that the kindness and warmth of friendship had left her feel so lonely and cold. "It's so good to see you again."

"The feeling is very much mutual," Minerva said as she brushed some brown hair out of Hermione's face before her green eyes met Hermione's chocolate brown. She smiled. "I had almost forgotten you had grown up so much. I can still remember the day you were a student" She let go of her and her eyes found Narcissa who was standing in the middle of the path, unsure what to do or where to look. Minerva approached her and Hermione watched how her old friend unexpectedly pulled Narcissa into a comforting embrace.

"Cissy, it is good to see you again" Minerva said and suddenly felt how Narcissa's was shaking as tears of pain dripped down into Minerva's cloak, soft sobs escaping from her throat. "I've come to pay my respect to Draco. I have been doing so since the day he died." Narcissa looked up. Her blue eyes were still full of tears. "And I have come to see you and Hermione. I know it has not been easy for the both of you. I know people cannot accept you and I wanted to tell you that I can change it."

"Minerva?" Hermione whispered softly. She felt confused and slowly approached her mentor, who was still holding Narcissa. "What do you mean, you can change it?"

With one hand Minerva took the necklace from behind her cloak and showed it to Hermione. Her green eyes found brown. For the very first time she saw how Hermione had turned into a beautiful young woman, though somewhere deep beyond her eyes she could see the pain caused by the past seven years. "I know you know what this is, Hermione. I know you remember."

"The Time-Turner," Hermione whispered. Her eyes had widened in surprise and she now rushed to Narcissa's side "Minerva, you can't!"

"I can and I will," Minerva answered, her voice suddenly betraying some of the firmness she held as a teacher and she looked at the two women standing before her. "And I think we all know what it will mean. If you make this choice, everything will change. Nothing will be as you remember it; though nothing will ever become the way you know it."

Narcissa looked at Hermione. "What does she mean?"

"Cissy, the Time-Turner is the object I used to travel back in time all those years ago. It's where I first met you. It can take you anywhere in time," Hermione answered and she glanced at Minerva, who was still holding the necklace "Minerva is offering us the only chance to ever truly find happiness. To live in a world where no one knows us and no one ever will. Where people have not died, nor will they ever. But we have lost them in this life. We can never lose them again."

Narcissa looked at Minerva. "Why are you doing this?"

"I have watched and observed how life has been treating you. It is not right, nor is it fair. I have no power to change one's mind or heart but I have the power to change time and life. I am offering you this only chance," Minerva said "If you take this Time-Turner with you, it will be gone forever. And with that, it will die in this time. No one will ever find it. It is the last of its kind."

Hermione reached out her hand and with trembling fingers took the golden chain into her hand. Her eyes found Narcissa's. She did not have to ask. She knew she had chosen. Her eyes found Minerva, who tenderly smiled. "Do not hesitate. Somewhere out there life is waiting."

Hermione flung her arms around Minerva's neck and pressed her face against her shoulder. "You are a remarkable friend, Minerva. I can only hope that one day I will find a friend that is even half like you. Please, take care of yourself. And if you ever see Harry or Ron or anybody else, tell them I said goodbye. They may not think of me, but I think of them, in whatever time."

She let go and stepped back, placing the chain safely around her neck and Narcissa's. Her lover's hand found hers before she began to spin the hourglass. She turned it round and round, and again and again. She could feel Narcissa cling on to her arm as around them images flashed by, noises finding their way into their ears. Light and darkness changed as wind was pulling their hair. And eventually Hermione stopped. The hourglass stopped spinning and slowly their surroundings changed into their normal shape.

It was still dark. Thousands of sky riddled the black sky. A familiar cold wind pulled their hair and Hermione looked beside her. Narcissa looked back at her. Her hand found Hermione's. The tree that they had been standing under only seconds ago had disappeared and the ground around them did not hold as many headstones. The cemetery was abandoned, there was nothing but silence.

"Where are we?" Narcissa whispered, though her voice betrayed her curiosity and excitement. Her blue eyes captured Hermione's and her lips vaguely curled up into a smile.

"Does it matter?" Hermione smiled too and she safely hid the necklace underneath her cloak. For now, they were safe and whatever was out there could very well be hiding their new future. Somewhere in the distant she heard a church bell and she reached for Narcissa's hand. "As long as I am with you, anywhere is home."

"Perhaps second chances lie in the past where no one's future yet exists," Narcissa said as she and Hermione slowly started walking down the path and left the cemetery. In the distance they saw the lights of a small town and they just started walking. If there was magic around somewhere it would find them somehow and it would lead them onto a path that was yet to be created. For now it was just them, the way they had known each other to be. And they started walking.

But to where exactly neither of them knew.


End file.
